rate_review Reviews

Love this story! Everyone stays in character and the plotline is believable! My favorite Naruto story here!

Man, it's so nice to see a het Naruto lemon. And it's actually a plausible relationship too. There's waaay too many Naruto/sasuke stuff out there. Since you're giving the lemon a plot (I love lemons with plots) are you going to go into any "protection" issues? Ninja chakra birth control? lol

Well, where to begin? I'll admit this is the first fanfic of this nature that I've read, so I can't offer anything in the way of other comparisions. I enjoyed it very much. The beginning seemed a little....awkward/forced maybe? Although I think that this has less to do with writing skills and more to do with the innate problems in taking a non-sexual character like Naruto and suddenly putting him in such a situation. By, non-sexual, I only mehat hat in the anime and manga we see a goofy but determined fighter and not much growth or explaination in romantic areas. Because of this, anyone (even the creator himself) will have to deal with awkwardness of putting Naruto in very unfamilar territory. Seeing what you had to work with, and the fact that easing into a Naruto/Hinata sexual relationship would probably take a pages and pages of setting up, I think you did an excellent job. The description was good and very believable. My favorite line had to be:

"God Hinata, you're beautiful," he murmured.

And she was.

That was very heartwarming. Nice touch! I think that a separate story dealing with Naruto slowly realizing that Hinata loved him and that he actually loved her as well would be nice, although I'm sure this might not be the right forum for it, as it wouldn't deal with anything erotic (I'm guessing that's the main purpose of most of the stories here). Also, it might not be as popular, except to old softies like myself. I think another story expanding what happens after Naruto and Hinata hook up would also be very interesting. I'm glad that you wrote about Naruto and Hinata, seeing as how they are the two people I want to get together the most. Once again, I think you did a fantastic job. I look forward to any future expansions you make on the subject. (OH! I just noticed you've written several other chapters. My mistake. I'll take a look at them ASAP) Thanks.

Sincerely,
Wojohoski

not bad, i'm actually quite enjoying it. keep up the good work

Haha...a pretty good fic, if you managed to get me to read the non-porn parts. And thank you for a straight Naruto coupling (That's a first).

Getting more and more interesting! Please continue!

Soooo cute! I'ma total sucker for HinaNaru and you've done it very well, although I do think you rushed into the bedroom scene, but I don't care!

Raikage is the official term for the cloud shinobi leader. Rai=lightening as in Raikiri=Kakashi's lightening edge technique.

I like this story and I hope nothing bad happens to Hinata or Naruto he is such a poorly treated character since he is so scorned by most of the adult it is nice to see that at least one person truely loves him. please update more soon

Another fantastic chapter! Please continue!!!

For a het fic, this was pretty good. Not a pairing I like, really, but it's well written and almost believable. I may even read the next chapter when you put it out.