schedule
January 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG u took such a long time to update. but don't worry i still love u just make sure u update sooner, ur doing great keep up the good work. :)
schedule
January 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!! Another Update!!! *growls darkly at Orochimaru and Itachi* I fear for little Naru-chan. I don't trust those two. ^_^ I think Neji could make a living as a massuse (sp?). I would go for an appointment! ^_^ hehe. Muting movies and making up your own dialouge IS fun. Me and my friend do that all the time! Anyways, update soon my god!
schedule
December 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
man, I'm too fucking lazy to log in, but...OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD THIS IS ONE GODDAMN PERFECT STORY!!!!!!!!I'm loving this from the first moment I've read it!!!!!!!!it's so cool, awe man I can't wait for another chapter!!!!!!!!>.< PLEASE UPDATE DUDE!!!!!!!!!!OH PLEASE I BEG YOU ON KNEES!!!!!!!!>.<
schedule
December 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
NaruGaara! NaruGaara!! NaruGaara~~!!
^-^Okay fine, I won't hate Sasu...(still a jerk-he needs a sister like you to get those weird idea out of his head!)...
Okay, Naru was hired for talent and then Itachi found out that day in the office that his brother was working with a hot blond and has been previously working on plans to get little Naru. Kabuto and Itachi are in a relationship that is slightly abusive, and thought Kabuto is the technical owner of Sound Nin Studios but it's Itachi who is really calling the majority shots when it suits his(itachi's) interests(Like naru or his brother).
but will Itachi stay loyal to his deal with Naru? Or will he be abusing the both of them? >.<
Am I close? Warm? freezing over? O.O I keep trying to figure this out, and that seems like it could be a plausible storyline you're following, or maybe it's something else, cause I can only think or one or two ways that Naru and Sasu woulc break free of evil itachi in that scenario.
So...? Tell me! And update!!
Update really soon! And I'll give you my jar of winter holiday cookies and candies!
^-^Okay fine, I won't hate Sasu...(still a jerk-he needs a sister like you to get those weird idea out of his head!)...
Okay, Naru was hired for talent and then Itachi found out that day in the office that his brother was working with a hot blond and has been previously working on plans to get little Naru. Kabuto and Itachi are in a relationship that is slightly abusive, and thought Kabuto is the technical owner of Sound Nin Studios but it's Itachi who is really calling the majority shots when it suits his(itachi's) interests(Like naru or his brother).
but will Itachi stay loyal to his deal with Naru? Or will he be abusing the both of them? >.<
Am I close? Warm? freezing over? O.O I keep trying to figure this out, and that seems like it could be a plausible storyline you're following, or maybe it's something else, cause I can only think or one or two ways that Naru and Sasu woulc break free of evil itachi in that scenario.
So...? Tell me! And update!!
Update really soon! And I'll give you my jar of winter holiday cookies and candies!
schedule
December 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
O_O OMG. OMG. GAAAARAAAA <3 *dies*
You've gotta write more soon!! :0
I stopped reading fanfiction for awhile, but when I got back into it... this was the FIRST fanfic I went and searched out!! And it had like ten chapters to read... XD Which made me happy. Wow. A lot has happened. But I love Gaara the most, and I think he'll make Naruto happy. Sasuke is such a bastard but I understand how Naruto feels. I'm curious about this Kabuto Sasuke Itachi thing... but what I'm more curious about is what's going to happen between Naruto and Gaara! Aaa~~~!!! I love Gaara so much~ <3
You've gotta write more soon!! :0
I stopped reading fanfiction for awhile, but when I got back into it... this was the FIRST fanfic I went and searched out!! And it had like ten chapters to read... XD Which made me happy. Wow. A lot has happened. But I love Gaara the most, and I think he'll make Naruto happy. Sasuke is such a bastard but I understand how Naruto feels. I'm curious about this Kabuto Sasuke Itachi thing... but what I'm more curious about is what's going to happen between Naruto and Gaara! Aaa~~~!!! I love Gaara so much~ <3
schedule
December 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
(( :( my other review got cut off. ))
O_O OMG. OMG. GAAAARAAAA V *dies*
You've gotta write more soon!! :0
I stopped reading fanfiction for awhile, but when I got back into it... this was the FIRST fanfic I went and searched out!! And it had like ten chapters to read... XD Which made me happy. Wow. A lot has happened. But I love Gaara the most, and I think he'll make Naruto happy. Sasuke is such a bastard but I understand how Naruto feels. I'm curious about this Kabuto Sasuke Itachi thing... but what I'm more curious about is what's going to happen between Naruto and Gaara! Aaa~~~!!! I love Gaara so much~ V
O_O OMG. OMG. GAAAARAAAA V *dies*
You've gotta write more soon!! :0
I stopped reading fanfiction for awhile, but when I got back into it... this was the FIRST fanfic I went and searched out!! And it had like ten chapters to read... XD Which made me happy. Wow. A lot has happened. But I love Gaara the most, and I think he'll make Naruto happy. Sasuke is such a bastard but I understand how Naruto feels. I'm curious about this Kabuto Sasuke Itachi thing... but what I'm more curious about is what's going to happen between Naruto and Gaara! Aaa~~~!!! I love Gaara so much~ V
schedule
December 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I am checking the site eveyday just for this story.It seems to stand fully on its own as a story not a commen trait in fan fic I think.I beg of you please update.The tention surrounding Itashi and the band/crew is tooth grinding,ominous{spelt wrong I think} I hope Gaara gets the attention,time and heat he deserves.I really like the way the characters are meshing except poor Sak.If you could have a scene from this story illustrated what would it be?
chris
chris
schedule
December 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
When I started to read this fic, I liked it alot, but when there was some trouble with Naruto and Sasuke, I wanted to leave it. But I was curious and so I read on, and I'm glad I did ^_^
I love the story, even though I think Naruto should and always belong to Sasuke, though, I'm flexible to other things too...
Poor Naruto, he has to suffer for Sasuke's sake, it all remind me of Gravitation when Shuichi got gang-banged and told Taki that he could do whatever he wanted but not to hurt Yuki's image, now THAT'S what I call love...
Anywhoo... I just wanted to say I loved this fic and hope you update soon..
Oh! And Merry Christmas to you! ^_^
-Emina <3
[P.S.: Because of your fic I was doodling in Math class and I was drawing this four part picture of Marked By Jutsu... I drew Naruto, Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke... I even commented on the page that I thought Sasuke was being a bitch XD. I liked how Gaara came out, one of my best pictures of him ^^... wrote on Neji's picture that he was a 'sex god overlord' what Naruto said about him stuck on me... Now I'm tempted to draw a picture of all of them again but them wearing their stage outfits.. I ABSOLUTELY love how you described what they wore ^_^]
I love the story, even though I think Naruto should and always belong to Sasuke, though, I'm flexible to other things too...
Poor Naruto, he has to suffer for Sasuke's sake, it all remind me of Gravitation when Shuichi got gang-banged and told Taki that he could do whatever he wanted but not to hurt Yuki's image, now THAT'S what I call love...
Anywhoo... I just wanted to say I loved this fic and hope you update soon..
Oh! And Merry Christmas to you! ^_^
-Emina <3
[P.S.: Because of your fic I was doodling in Math class and I was drawing this four part picture of Marked By Jutsu... I drew Naruto, Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke... I even commented on the page that I thought Sasuke was being a bitch XD. I liked how Gaara came out, one of my best pictures of him ^^... wrote on Neji's picture that he was a 'sex god overlord' what Naruto said about him stuck on me... Now I'm tempted to draw a picture of all of them again but them wearing their stage outfits.. I ABSOLUTELY love how you described what they wore ^_^]
schedule
December 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Omigod!!!! Itachi-sama's so sexy!!! But I feel sorry for Naruto and Sasuke. I know Sasuke's hurt, but hope he can accept Naru...and Naru is so nice for he would so anything for Sasu awww...Hope for sasunaru soon ^_^
Anyway I like it and please update! BTW, will Haku appear?
About the fanart, my Neji fanart's sent with Tokiya's ones. I had mentioned about my Neji fanart before on reviews, but I used nickname fuuchouin kadzuki back then. That's because I was logged in my aff profile and hadn't logged out and I use my aff profile together with Tokiya. And the second time I mentioned about my Neji fanart again on the review, I was in hurry so I couldn't explain it well. So it seemed it made you confused, sorry about that. Anyway like I said before, I sent my Neji fanart through Tokiya's e-mail coz I was with her back then, so we didn't have to send it twice with my e-mail and her e-mail. So the Neji art there is mine, not hers. I'm sorry if it bad, but if you want to put it in your LJ, I don't mind at all. Well, I hope you like it.
Anyway I like it and please update! BTW, will Haku appear?
About the fanart, my Neji fanart's sent with Tokiya's ones. I had mentioned about my Neji fanart before on reviews, but I used nickname fuuchouin kadzuki back then. That's because I was logged in my aff profile and hadn't logged out and I use my aff profile together with Tokiya. And the second time I mentioned about my Neji fanart again on the review, I was in hurry so I couldn't explain it well. So it seemed it made you confused, sorry about that. Anyway like I said before, I sent my Neji fanart through Tokiya's e-mail coz I was with her back then, so we didn't have to send it twice with my e-mail and her e-mail. So the Neji art there is mine, not hers. I'm sorry if it bad, but if you want to put it in your LJ, I don't mind at all. Well, I hope you like it.
schedule
December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I saw this fic had over 200 reviews, and I could hardly believe it--I've never seen a fic with so many. I figured there must have been some spamming or flame war going on. What a surprise that it was just a lot of fangirling. o.O
So I read the first chapter of this fic, just to see what all the noise was about. You're not a bad writer--need a spell-checker/grammer-checker, but not bad. I'm not really a fan of first person to begin with, and this fic isn't going to change my mind about that.
Like I said, you're a decent writer, which is why I'm writing a review at all. I hope you won't take any of this the wrong way. AU doesn't bug me, but all the little "coincidences" in even this first chapter are just way too much. You've already written so much, so I'm not suggesting you change anything, but maybe take a few ideas for your next one.
If you're going to reincarnate characters, dare to allow them to change. Change their names a little, change something in their circumstances. This doesn't read so much as a reincarnation as just an AU rewrite of the original story--which, maybe that's what you were going for, I don't know. But don't be afraid to allow for some differences if you're going to make something AU. Why bother even having the Fox Demon or Sand demon--obviously this fic is going to be about pretty boys making out and angsting all over each other, so just stick to that. It only bogs your fic down to tell us right off the bat that Naruto is a reincarnation of the original Naruto, that he had a demon, a scar, that he's alone and angsty and angry (which, Naruto himself was never that honestly angry. He was hotheaded, not wrathful. And certainly not goth.). As a suggestion for a future fic, rather than coming out with all of that in a Mary Sue sounding first-person monologue, why not just give us insights to his character as the story progresses? We'd figure out that he has a demon when he meets with Gaara and they react to each other. We'd know he was alone when he comes home to an empty apartment and makes himself dinner. We'd know he was angsty because of how he is treated by the other students. Take your time with giving us all the information about your characters. Let us readers learn about them, rather than have you give us a lecture at the begining of "Okay, here's how my characters work."
Also, I think it would help if you made the boys older. No offence, but 12 year-olds don't have that much to angst about--nothing all that serious, anyway. *ducks to avoid the rabid teens that sneak into AFF*. Of course, the original Naruto world has ridiculous things like 12 year olds living on their own and being able to fight and defeat experienced ninjas nearly five times their age, but if you're going to seriously base your fic in a more modern setting, you really should take into account what our modern world is more like. Young teens do not live alone like that, can not support themselves realistically. Again, you've already written much of your fic, so I'm not suggesting you change things, but just take the idea into account for your next one.
Good Luck.
So I read the first chapter of this fic, just to see what all the noise was about. You're not a bad writer--need a spell-checker/grammer-checker, but not bad. I'm not really a fan of first person to begin with, and this fic isn't going to change my mind about that.
Like I said, you're a decent writer, which is why I'm writing a review at all. I hope you won't take any of this the wrong way. AU doesn't bug me, but all the little "coincidences" in even this first chapter are just way too much. You've already written so much, so I'm not suggesting you change anything, but maybe take a few ideas for your next one.
If you're going to reincarnate characters, dare to allow them to change. Change their names a little, change something in their circumstances. This doesn't read so much as a reincarnation as just an AU rewrite of the original story--which, maybe that's what you were going for, I don't know. But don't be afraid to allow for some differences if you're going to make something AU. Why bother even having the Fox Demon or Sand demon--obviously this fic is going to be about pretty boys making out and angsting all over each other, so just stick to that. It only bogs your fic down to tell us right off the bat that Naruto is a reincarnation of the original Naruto, that he had a demon, a scar, that he's alone and angsty and angry (which, Naruto himself was never that honestly angry. He was hotheaded, not wrathful. And certainly not goth.). As a suggestion for a future fic, rather than coming out with all of that in a Mary Sue sounding first-person monologue, why not just give us insights to his character as the story progresses? We'd figure out that he has a demon when he meets with Gaara and they react to each other. We'd know he was alone when he comes home to an empty apartment and makes himself dinner. We'd know he was angsty because of how he is treated by the other students. Take your time with giving us all the information about your characters. Let us readers learn about them, rather than have you give us a lecture at the begining of "Okay, here's how my characters work."
Also, I think it would help if you made the boys older. No offence, but 12 year-olds don't have that much to angst about--nothing all that serious, anyway. *ducks to avoid the rabid teens that sneak into AFF*. Of course, the original Naruto world has ridiculous things like 12 year olds living on their own and being able to fight and defeat experienced ninjas nearly five times their age, but if you're going to seriously base your fic in a more modern setting, you really should take into account what our modern world is more like. Young teens do not live alone like that, can not support themselves realistically. Again, you've already written much of your fic, so I'm not suggesting you change things, but just take the idea into account for your next one.
Good Luck.