schedule
August 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very good for a first fic. And i like how you captured the characters' ppersonalities too. *nod* It seemed a tad unrealistic in the time it took for Sakurah to recover, but other than that i think you did very well. *nod*
schedule
June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Too Short.....make...longer....X_x
schedule
February 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
im so confused....
schedule
January 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What is with the ads?You could ad more detail about how they make each other feel phisically.the flow in the story is kind of stop and start.But it is worth pursuing if you can keep the energy/lust up.
schedule
June 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Its pretty good for your first fanfic, better than mines at least ^_^; Anyway, I like it alot, but it's way to short for my taste and it went by way too fast. Take time to put in little details and lengthen the story and plot. But all in all I like it, keep it up, you'll get better ^_^
schedule
April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I suggest you check your verb tenses. It is very difficult to continue reading a story when, shortly into the first paragraph, it randomly switches from the past to the present tense.
schedule
April 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
interesting
continue
continue
schedule
April 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Liked your stand and the only thing I see wrong with it besides the spelling would be Sas's mushyness. x_x Also, you seem to switch from present tense to past tense. Present tense works best with POV's >.> Please don't turn this into a POV, anywho try to keep it in past tense thats about the only flaws I saw. You're writing style is good; very eye catching and.. :O Mak Sas Sasuke!! ^_^ Keep up the good work.
schedule
April 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
nice chapter
some OCCness but
still a very good story
keep it up!
some OCCness but
still a very good story
keep it up!
schedule
April 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Very good for your first fic. ^_^ Continue soon, onegai. Naruto seems a bit OOC, though. *shrugs* But it's fine. ^^