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October 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
thats so like naruto.
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December 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i haven't read the story i just want to let you know that theres another place you could post this story try Mediaminer.ore i have an account there since i can't post mine of FF eather mine account is Sessymate13 look at my stories if you want.
Ja Ne,
Dark Sand Queen
Ja Ne,
Dark Sand Queen
schedule
November 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
thank you,thank you. once i read you were taking out the itachi/kisami i nearly cried!!!!
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February 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
hurry up and UPDATE
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January 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!!
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!
It's filled with a whole bunch of "WTF" moments!!!
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!
It's filled with a whole bunch of "WTF" moments!!!
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January 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
^_^ For starters I would like to say that you have a good idea to work with here, no let me correct myself, a GREAT idea. I haven’t read anything like this yet and I think you’re on a good track as far as originality goes but…
I’m sorry, there is a BUT.
You really, really have to work on your punctuation and writing a little more. A lot of it seems rushed, I feel that some of it you can really get into and make a little wordier and descriptive rather than using the same words over and over. Perhaps you need a Beta to help you with your writing?
I don’t want you to get the feeling I’m flaming you or anything because I’m not. I like the story and I want to be able to help make a good story better. After all isn’t that what reviewing is about?
The meeting between Sasuke and Naruto happened quickly but that is okay not really the problem but taking it slower could have made it better. The love at first sight thing with Sasuke and Naruto was a little cliché and maybe a little cheesy considering Sasuke going "Gaga" for a guy he had never met before seems a little OOC. Quite a handful of the characters seem a little out of character...a lot more than they need to be.
Other than that I enjoyed it and I would like to see more. ^_^ I hope I wasnt too harsh...
I’m sorry, there is a BUT.
You really, really have to work on your punctuation and writing a little more. A lot of it seems rushed, I feel that some of it you can really get into and make a little wordier and descriptive rather than using the same words over and over. Perhaps you need a Beta to help you with your writing?
I don’t want you to get the feeling I’m flaming you or anything because I’m not. I like the story and I want to be able to help make a good story better. After all isn’t that what reviewing is about?
The meeting between Sasuke and Naruto happened quickly but that is okay not really the problem but taking it slower could have made it better. The love at first sight thing with Sasuke and Naruto was a little cliché and maybe a little cheesy considering Sasuke going "Gaga" for a guy he had never met before seems a little OOC. Quite a handful of the characters seem a little out of character...a lot more than they need to be.
Other than that I enjoyed it and I would like to see more. ^_^ I hope I wasnt too harsh...
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December 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
interesting
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November 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
aaaww... this is sooooooooooooooo hilarious! update!
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April 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like the start of the story and I would truly love to find out what will happen next and what the result will be, pleeease? Thank you for what you have done so far.
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March 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please please please update soon!!!! i'm a addict to your fic now!!!