schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I adore your take on hinata!
I did note a fewspelling errors, but otherwise your writing is excelent. Thanks for a great read! ^_^
I did note a fewspelling errors, but otherwise your writing is excelent. Thanks for a great read! ^_^
schedule
September 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
y
schedule
August 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Its quite annoying that your story has so muh japanese dialogue, and not all of it's translated. Most of us happen to only speak english and very few things in japanese, and I also doubt your spelling of some of these words. Aside from that you would have a nice story.
schedule
June 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wa - is, are, am, was,
schedule
May 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yo! i read this fanfic and i think its the best!!
i love neji and hinata!!
just a little suggestion if i may; i got confused in the last chapter umm...i think it was 6 (?), coz i couldn't tell when the past or flash backes began so could u maybe put a subheading when the flash backes begin or put them in italics?
and i notices that u re-wrote the last chapter in japanese and english...etc versions, maybe it word be easier if inside u just write it in japanese like u want and next to it put a number in brackets. therefore at the end of the chapter u can write down the translation, for example: doushite? [1]
****End of chapter****
Translation:
[1] why?
hehehe not sure if thats wat it means but u get my drift eh?
its just thats wat i've read other writers have done and it seems easier for me to read (and less typing for u)
^_
can't wait for ur next chapter!
i love neji and hinata!!
just a little suggestion if i may; i got confused in the last chapter umm...i think it was 6 (?), coz i couldn't tell when the past or flash backes began so could u maybe put a subheading when the flash backes begin or put them in italics?
and i notices that u re-wrote the last chapter in japanese and english...etc versions, maybe it word be easier if inside u just write it in japanese like u want and next to it put a number in brackets. therefore at the end of the chapter u can write down the translation, for example: doushite? [1]
****End of chapter****
Translation:
[1] why?
hehehe not sure if thats wat it means but u get my drift eh?
its just thats wat i've read other writers have done and it seems easier for me to read (and less typing for u)
^_
can't wait for ur next chapter!
schedule
May 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ohayo!
hehehe ummm...forgot to mention a something small
but if u want i could help u with ur structure on the story......but i c (in ur journal) that u may not need it
anyway the offer still stands
*^_^*
hehehe ummm...forgot to mention a something small
but if u want i could help u with ur structure on the story......but i c (in ur journal) that u may not need it
anyway the offer still stands
*^_^*
schedule
March 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
it's a good story
schedule
March 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I enjoy the story, but there is seriously way too much Japanese in this story. It's confusing to read it with the English text.
schedule
March 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like the story, I like the idea and way it is going. However the Japanese is really distracting to the flow of the story. The occasional (well known) word here and there is fine, but there is a bit too much. It is not that I don't understand Japanese; it is that it just doesn’t flow with the English and makes it an uncomfortable read. I'll be honest I want to read more because I find the story interesting, however by the second paragraph in the third chapter I just gave up.
I understand your personal need and desire to include Japanese because that is what comes naturally to you when you write or think as the character, but also consider your readers. Perhaps you can provide an all English alternative for them.
Like I said I want to read more, but the over use of Japanese is to distracting for me to continue.
Sorry.
Otherwise I like the story ^_^
-V
I understand your personal need and desire to include Japanese because that is what comes naturally to you when you write or think as the character, but also consider your readers. Perhaps you can provide an all English alternative for them.
Like I said I want to read more, but the over use of Japanese is to distracting for me to continue.
Sorry.
Otherwise I like the story ^_^
-V
schedule
February 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a beautiful story! Why haven't you updated it? Please keep writting it!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I'll send you a box of Pocky if you do!!!!.... What? You think I'm kidding? I will!! Keep writing and I'll send you a box of Pocky for every chapter you write. Cross my heart!! Please, continue to write!!!! Don't make megrovel, pleeeeeaaassee......