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August 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Gaara has green eyes, not blue....... furthermore, he doesn't have any eyebrows.......haha.....nice content though.... =P
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July 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
GAHHH!!!! STUPID KYUUBI! Naruto!!! You can do itttt!!!!! God that made me feel so bad with the whole "im scared" thing!!! Wahhh What's gonna happen next?!?!?! So kill Kimi off of course.......WILL SASUKE BE ABLE TO EFFECTIVELY STOP THE WRATH OF KYUUBI! ?(Stay tuned for information on the next episode!) XDDD EGAD!
And I love what you did the the curse seal! Omgz. I loved the way Sasuke's eye were black (Although i hate his other form...) But the eyes..THE EYES!!!! XD AH!! This fic is so good so far. Wonderful I say! WONDERFULLLL! ...I just hope Naruto doesn't die....
And I hope Sasuke doesn't die either..o.o? lol And I also hope that Sasuke pwnz0rs anyone and everyone who tries to hurt him! MATTE! Wasn't Gaara there with Naruto?! WHY DIDNT HE HELP?!?! AND NOW NARUTO IS ALL HURTY AND SCARED BY HIMSELF (Not to mention that baka Kyuubi!!) RAWR!!! -Unleashes pent up frustrations*
Update soon onegai!
And I love what you did the the curse seal! Omgz. I loved the way Sasuke's eye were black (Although i hate his other form...) But the eyes..THE EYES!!!! XD AH!! This fic is so good so far. Wonderful I say! WONDERFULLLL! ...I just hope Naruto doesn't die....
And I hope Sasuke doesn't die either..o.o? lol And I also hope that Sasuke pwnz0rs anyone and everyone who tries to hurt him! MATTE! Wasn't Gaara there with Naruto?! WHY DIDNT HE HELP?!?! AND NOW NARUTO IS ALL HURTY AND SCARED BY HIMSELF (Not to mention that baka Kyuubi!!) RAWR!!! -Unleashes pent up frustrations*
Update soon onegai!
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July 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
agh!!!! and you've stopped the story HERE!!??? *falls off endless cliff* please continue!!!!! *gets the urge to draw fanarts*
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July 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
O_O .......OMG!! this story if freakin amazing!!! *squeels like a rabid yaoi fan gal* You have to update sooon!!!!!! *cries* T_T I need to know whats going to happen to Naurto...is Sasuke going to same him!?!?!?! *dies from the overload*
Keep up the great work!!!!
Keep up the great work!!!!
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July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Arg! I read this ENTIRE story in one sitting... now my ass is asleep.
My reaction to your fic is classified as some sort of sick love-hate thing. Love, because it was such an awesome, well written piece of work that I couldn't stop reading it. Hate it, because I couldn't stop reading it and was late to work in the process. Damn you!
Actually, no... I don't damn you, because if you were damned then you couldn't write anymore. Do they have the internet in hell?
You're positively evil though, stopping the story right at the climax. Looks like you haven't updated for over a month too. I hope that means that you are taking a long time to make the most utterly perfect chapter ever, because I'd hate to see such an awesome fic go on hiatus!
I'd also like to congratulate you on exactly how I found your fic addicting. I've been on a recent SasukeNaruto smut binge, and I was reading way too many PWP. Simply because you don't have to be a genius to write smut, but it takes talent to have an interesting plot. Therefore, you're broken me of my smut-fest into a lovely plot-fest. Huzzah! I'd even read this without the smut, it's just that good.
However wonderfully awesome and addictive your story is, I have to put in the required constructive criticism:
1. Your cliffhanger is positively evil, totally mind-numbingly evil. So evil, I cannot comprehend the depths of its evilness. You are also supremely evil because now I will have to check back for updates every day.
2. I have trouble imagining all the characters that much older than they are. Assuming that Jiraiya is 50 when Naruto meets him at 12 or 13, if Naruto is now 25, Jiraiya is now 62 or 63. That's really old. Same goes with Orochimaru and Tsunade. I know that characters in manga don't exactly follow the laws of the universe... but I'd figure that 60+ year old ninjas wouldn't really be in their prime anymore, would they? I also have problems with aging ANY of the characters that much in my mind. It makes my head hurt.
3. Along with the age problem, there is a problem with Naruto's ten year absence. I know that it probably isn't anything important to the plot other than his relationship with the Akatsuki and Sand-nins, but I wonder what the hell he did for a decade. I mean, a decade is a long damn time. Seriously.
4. Naruto comes back to the Hidden Leaf Village altered just a little (besides aging). His hair is still mostly blond (I'm assuming, hopefully correctly, that the degree of pigment variation on his hair is an indication of the influence of the Kyuubi). Then, wham! His hair is mostly red in a relatively short space of time, considering that it took ten years for his hair to develop highlights.
5. I like characterization. You've tantalized me with snippets of what seems like the ultimate canon-disruption: Sakura and Ino loosing their obsession for Sasuke, and then fail to elaborate. Ten years is a long time, and people change a lot, but while such a drastic change, I'd like a little more detail.
I'm probably being overly picky. Oh well.
I'm ecstatic that you got a beta now (you’re not that bad, but everyone needs someone else to proofread)! I think back in an earlier chapter I saw such a distracting grammar no-no that I wanted to edit the webpage myself. Of course, a few minor typos have disrupted my "flow" while reading. Eh, I'm a grammar Nazi though, and I'd have to say that the fact that you have enough self-respect to run the fic through a spell-checker (or you're just a really good speller), speaks for itself. Your clarity is also fantastic; I've had no problems figuring out what the heck is going on in the story, even when you jump around like a manic. You do jump a little much, but it's just odd, not bad, because it doesn't distract me from the flow of the story much. So the jumping is okay.
I probably have a lot more to say, but this is a really long review, and I have more smut to read. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find another diamond in the rough that has such a fantastic plot. I'm going to have to look hard, aren't I?
My reaction to your fic is classified as some sort of sick love-hate thing. Love, because it was such an awesome, well written piece of work that I couldn't stop reading it. Hate it, because I couldn't stop reading it and was late to work in the process. Damn you!
Actually, no... I don't damn you, because if you were damned then you couldn't write anymore. Do they have the internet in hell?
You're positively evil though, stopping the story right at the climax. Looks like you haven't updated for over a month too. I hope that means that you are taking a long time to make the most utterly perfect chapter ever, because I'd hate to see such an awesome fic go on hiatus!
I'd also like to congratulate you on exactly how I found your fic addicting. I've been on a recent SasukeNaruto smut binge, and I was reading way too many PWP. Simply because you don't have to be a genius to write smut, but it takes talent to have an interesting plot. Therefore, you're broken me of my smut-fest into a lovely plot-fest. Huzzah! I'd even read this without the smut, it's just that good.
However wonderfully awesome and addictive your story is, I have to put in the required constructive criticism:
1. Your cliffhanger is positively evil, totally mind-numbingly evil. So evil, I cannot comprehend the depths of its evilness. You are also supremely evil because now I will have to check back for updates every day.
2. I have trouble imagining all the characters that much older than they are. Assuming that Jiraiya is 50 when Naruto meets him at 12 or 13, if Naruto is now 25, Jiraiya is now 62 or 63. That's really old. Same goes with Orochimaru and Tsunade. I know that characters in manga don't exactly follow the laws of the universe... but I'd figure that 60+ year old ninjas wouldn't really be in their prime anymore, would they? I also have problems with aging ANY of the characters that much in my mind. It makes my head hurt.
3. Along with the age problem, there is a problem with Naruto's ten year absence. I know that it probably isn't anything important to the plot other than his relationship with the Akatsuki and Sand-nins, but I wonder what the hell he did for a decade. I mean, a decade is a long damn time. Seriously.
4. Naruto comes back to the Hidden Leaf Village altered just a little (besides aging). His hair is still mostly blond (I'm assuming, hopefully correctly, that the degree of pigment variation on his hair is an indication of the influence of the Kyuubi). Then, wham! His hair is mostly red in a relatively short space of time, considering that it took ten years for his hair to develop highlights.
5. I like characterization. You've tantalized me with snippets of what seems like the ultimate canon-disruption: Sakura and Ino loosing their obsession for Sasuke, and then fail to elaborate. Ten years is a long time, and people change a lot, but while such a drastic change, I'd like a little more detail.
I'm probably being overly picky. Oh well.
I'm ecstatic that you got a beta now (you’re not that bad, but everyone needs someone else to proofread)! I think back in an earlier chapter I saw such a distracting grammar no-no that I wanted to edit the webpage myself. Of course, a few minor typos have disrupted my "flow" while reading. Eh, I'm a grammar Nazi though, and I'd have to say that the fact that you have enough self-respect to run the fic through a spell-checker (or you're just a really good speller), speaks for itself. Your clarity is also fantastic; I've had no problems figuring out what the heck is going on in the story, even when you jump around like a manic. You do jump a little much, but it's just odd, not bad, because it doesn't distract me from the flow of the story much. So the jumping is okay.
I probably have a lot more to say, but this is a really long review, and I have more smut to read. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find another diamond in the rough that has such a fantastic plot. I'm going to have to look hard, aren't I?
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July 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
O M G this is GOOD! PLEASE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE UDPATE SOON! I BEG YOU!!!!!!! I HAVE to know what happens next. aaaiiiyeeee!
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July 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What an awesome story! You have such wonderful characterization, even for minor characters. And I loved that part with Kohaku's weapon, I recognized it immediately and was thrilled! Anyway, keep up the awesome job! The world needs good fanfiction. I can't wait for the next chapter, but - please! - take your time. Don't rush out something crappy just to get it done.
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
GGAAAAAHHH!! This is the worst cliffhanger EVER!!
And you're not updating for over a month!!!!!
This is a FUCKING TORTURE!!!!
GOD, I hate you right now!
Please, UPDATE!!!
Your fic is absolutely amazing, I hope you didn't abandon it just like that 'cause this would be Orochimaru's level of cruelty, damn it!!!!
And you're not updating for over a month!!!!!
This is a FUCKING TORTURE!!!!
GOD, I hate you right now!
Please, UPDATE!!!
Your fic is absolutely amazing, I hope you didn't abandon it just like that 'cause this would be Orochimaru's level of cruelty, damn it!!!!
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June 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey! I've read BOTH versions of your story and I love them both. ^_^ This is the first (and probably only) story I have ever (and probably ever will) read on adultfanfiction.net. So yes, if I am totally unaware of any of the workings on this ste, forgive me. ^_^ I don't care about the spoilers! I live spoilers! Eat, sleep, drink 'em. Yep! SASUKE IN LEVEL 2 SOUNDS SOOOOO COOL! I keep telling my friends and family "I can't WAIT for that chapter!" cause...I only get to read Naruto in Shonen Jump. The dream thing was so cool! I like dream segments in stories. Why? They dont have to follow the laws of reality and are usually pretty damn cool. *dreamy look* *normal* Anyway! UPDATE! Sorry for much, I have no way of knowing WHEN you update except the hope that you update both versions at the same time. u.u I would not be able to write 2 versions of the same story....I'd be like 'screw you people. If you dont like where it's going, dont read' and not because I'm mean, but because I wouldn't be able to do so. -_- curse my lack of skill...
I went to my first Anime convention this year too! JACON! I met the voice of Roy Mustang. Yea, it was awsome... -sounds like one of those hippies from movies saying 'peace...'- -normal- At first, when I switched to this version, I was all....'They're exactally the same? Why repost?' then I got to...what was it? Chapter...7? and I was all "Ah! A difference!" from there, it changed. Yes, and they were nice changes too.....I have to have my sister guess about Sasuke's "Guess it will have to, Hokage-sama" comment. She doesn't read this story and simply forwards all emails with Naruto stories to me....Lazy, moronic, introvert, *continues on under her breath for about 5 minutes* *takes a deep breath* well anyway! I can't WAIT for you to update, which I hope you do in the near future and I apologize for switching between ** and -- whilst writing my review, I write stories too and I constantly switch...I sounded old just then....-_- Whatever! UPDATE! Bye!
I went to my first Anime convention this year too! JACON! I met the voice of Roy Mustang. Yea, it was awsome... -sounds like one of those hippies from movies saying 'peace...'- -normal- At first, when I switched to this version, I was all....'They're exactally the same? Why repost?' then I got to...what was it? Chapter...7? and I was all "Ah! A difference!" from there, it changed. Yes, and they were nice changes too.....I have to have my sister guess about Sasuke's "Guess it will have to, Hokage-sama" comment. She doesn't read this story and simply forwards all emails with Naruto stories to me....Lazy, moronic, introvert, *continues on under her breath for about 5 minutes* *takes a deep breath* well anyway! I can't WAIT for you to update, which I hope you do in the near future and I apologize for switching between ** and -- whilst writing my review, I write stories too and I constantly switch...I sounded old just then....-_- Whatever! UPDATE! Bye!
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June 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ok, I'm a member of Fanfiction.net but i've been reading this version of the story from chap. 4 up 2...well, here. Sorry i didn't review earlier but I've been keeping up wif the story since i first started.
Now that that's all cleared up, *clears throat* IF U VALUE UR LIFE THEN I ORDER U 2 CONTINUE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid cliffhangers, all of them out 2 get me i swear.
I've been dying 2 say this 4 ages: i think ur depiction of kyuubi is really interesting. in most fics ppl make the kyuubi sort of evil but basically on the good guys' side (not that i don't MIND since it's funny sometimes) but urs make him more in character. I mean, it sorta makes me hate how evil kyuubi is but @ the same time, i luv it! Again, PLZ CONTINUE OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!
Now that that's all cleared up, *clears throat* IF U VALUE UR LIFE THEN I ORDER U 2 CONTINUE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid cliffhangers, all of them out 2 get me i swear.
I've been dying 2 say this 4 ages: i think ur depiction of kyuubi is really interesting. in most fics ppl make the kyuubi sort of evil but basically on the good guys' side (not that i don't MIND since it's funny sometimes) but urs make him more in character. I mean, it sorta makes me hate how evil kyuubi is but @ the same time, i luv it! Again, PLZ CONTINUE OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!