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March 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I've been sick of fanfiction for the last year, but since getting addicted to Naruto, I decided to look around for some out of curiosity. This fic was the only one that impressed me!
I would say that the best feature is probably your accurate and excellent characterisation. The changing of the context, (ie they're not ninjas) has done little to affect the endearing personalities of the Naruto characters. Except maybe to make the entire story more plausible!
The story flows well and is open to so many more possibilities. The Shikamaru and Ino twist was really sweet! The humour was more than appropriate, (Kakashi's entrance) and Naruto is decidedly less annoying than even in the anime! Sasuke is the only character that perhaps isn't in keeping with all the personality developments going on in the actual manga, but I actually prefer this version. As would everyone else. This is Sasuke at the beginning. The cool, strong, would-save-Naruto's-life Sasuke. Thumbs up all around!
All the characters still have their story to tell...I guess now what remains is whether you will continue to tell them? If so, don't rush your writing, you have the style down wonderfully. If not, then that's too bad as this really is a wonderful piece of work! No matter what, well done on this story, it's something to be proud of!
I would say that the best feature is probably your accurate and excellent characterisation. The changing of the context, (ie they're not ninjas) has done little to affect the endearing personalities of the Naruto characters. Except maybe to make the entire story more plausible!
The story flows well and is open to so many more possibilities. The Shikamaru and Ino twist was really sweet! The humour was more than appropriate, (Kakashi's entrance) and Naruto is decidedly less annoying than even in the anime! Sasuke is the only character that perhaps isn't in keeping with all the personality developments going on in the actual manga, but I actually prefer this version. As would everyone else. This is Sasuke at the beginning. The cool, strong, would-save-Naruto's-life Sasuke. Thumbs up all around!
All the characters still have their story to tell...I guess now what remains is whether you will continue to tell them? If so, don't rush your writing, you have the style down wonderfully. If not, then that's too bad as this really is a wonderful piece of work! No matter what, well done on this story, it's something to be proud of!
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March 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
waiting for the next chapter..:)
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March 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
arghh!!!! i cant believe it... poor shizune, hurting her head for nothing.. hehehehe... i love you.. i just cant stop blushing and smiling!! good one!!
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March 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
WAI!!!!!!!!!! i liked it!!! very um.......original!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT SASUKE DOES TO NARUTO!!!! PLease UPDATE SOON!!!! and make it a long chapter??? okay i might be asking for too much, but i really do like where this is going, except sasuke....cant wait tll he has some type of action towards nartuo instead of just actions while naruto is asleep. Hopefully it will go from shounen ai to yaoi soon!!! >< KYAAAA hehe good work!!!
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March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey... what happened to chapter 5? was it removed?
i really love this story and cant wait to find out what happens.
its so cool they way you have included everyone and each character has their own seperate story.
xx fireyfaerie xx
i really love this story and cant wait to find out what happens.
its so cool they way you have included everyone and each character has their own seperate story.
xx fireyfaerie xx
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
At first I thought I wasn't going to like this story the whole premise was dealing with prostitution, and usually those stories are dark and not very pleasant let alone funny. This story was greatly amusing and I was glad to see that Naruto isn't a prostitue, he was tricked into playing a substitute, it was very amusing and I laughed, it has pretty spot on characterization for Naruto and Sasuke. I hope naruto won't lose any of his spirit with Sasuke and the same with Sasuke with Naruto. I believe this is one the better stories I have ever read, and I look forward to reading more.
This is an excellent story and I'm glad it's not going to be as short as you wanted, though that's a bummer to you *-*; The fun's just beginning!
P.S.
(Please, please don't make Naruto the total "bottom"! or weak! 'Cause our boy is strong and that's just one of the reasons why we love our Naruto)
This is an excellent story and I'm glad it's not going to be as short as you wanted, though that's a bummer to you *-*; The fun's just beginning!
P.S.
(Please, please don't make Naruto the total "bottom"! or weak! 'Cause our boy is strong and that's just one of the reasons why we love our Naruto)
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
really very amusing and I hope there will be more chapters to come, though you had wanted it short it's turning into a good solid story. U have kept Naruto and Sasuke in character and in spirit and I hope you will continue to do so.
(*-*;; please, please don't make it a pure naruto bottom story, he gets to be on top to, doesn't he?? When he's in a relationship with Sasuke? keep NAruto the way we love him strong and deeply caring but strong too. and not a girly wimp so many people seem to transfer him into)
(*-*;; please, please don't make it a pure naruto bottom story, he gets to be on top to, doesn't he?? When he's in a relationship with Sasuke? keep NAruto the way we love him strong and deeply caring but strong too. and not a girly wimp so many people seem to transfer him into)
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
where? where? where? where's chapter 5? i wanna!
wow i luv ur fic. i guess u get this a lot but its really good. the thing that got to me was that it captured my imagination so much that even tho it wasn't bogged down by too much description i could literally see the place, here the laughter and moans, smell the smoke, sake and exotic perfumes...i could pisture everything so vividly... and not many fics do that to me...certainly not a lot of fanfiction. u should try to get urself published....
update soon pls!
wow i luv ur fic. i guess u get this a lot but its really good. the thing that got to me was that it captured my imagination so much that even tho it wasn't bogged down by too much description i could literally see the place, here the laughter and moans, smell the smoke, sake and exotic perfumes...i could pisture everything so vividly... and not many fics do that to me...certainly not a lot of fanfiction. u should try to get urself published....
update soon pls!
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March 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Is Gaara gonna meet Naru-chan?
>.<
UPDATE SOON^^
Is Gaara gonna meet Naru-chan?
>.<
UPDATE SOON^^
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March 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yaaaahh an update *does a happy dance* that was really good, lol i can't believe that old perv is actually the emporer. that was quite unexpected. this story is really starting to get intresting, i can't wait to see what happens next, i hope the princess doesn't chose sasuke, i'm wanting some sasnaru action soon, i also hope there's some kakairu action as well. keep up the great work and update soon!!!