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March 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*looking thru a pile of sasuke plushies* WHERE"S SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he can't just leave poor naru-chan behind. they haven't had hot, steamy, first-time sex, and wat about the BDSM, the whips, the handcuffs, the stripshow and the flying fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! where did dey go.........!!!!!!!!!!!
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March 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a really interesting alternate universe you got here. Extremely novel and creative. I really enjoyed the beautiful descriptive imaginery you painted, especially the part of how Naruto soars throught the sky. Gwad. The suspense is done well, it kept me glued to the story. Considering that my attention span is worse than a goldfish.
The dialogue between Naruto and Sasuke is wonderful. Flirty, antagonistic.
Just a point. Homosexuality is considered a sin in Christanity. Is Naruto in your story aware of this? Or should we the readers take it that Angels and Demons are asexual beings? And if so, when they take on mortal flesh, and have homosexual sex, will it be considered as a sin? Gah.
The dialogue between Naruto and Sasuke is wonderful. Flirty, antagonistic.
Just a point. Homosexuality is considered a sin in Christanity. Is Naruto in your story aware of this? Or should we the readers take it that Angels and Demons are asexual beings? And if so, when they take on mortal flesh, and have homosexual sex, will it be considered as a sin? Gah.
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March 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*sighs happily* pretty pretty chapter as always. Magnificent imagery, lotsa symbolism to keep me happy and of course the content! I like Sasuke in this one, I really do! He's so ... err.. how do I put this... yummy? Though now that the plot started rolling, I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
My only criticism is perhaps, some of your sentences are too wordy and a mouthful to read. Of course, you can just put it down to personal preferences. Or jealousy *chuckles* simply because your description talents are all so thorough.
Anyways, you take care :)
My only criticism is perhaps, some of your sentences are too wordy and a mouthful to read. Of course, you can just put it down to personal preferences. Or jealousy *chuckles* simply because your description talents are all so thorough.
Anyways, you take care :)
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March 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I am sooo enjoying this fic! I love the concept - I can't wait to find out what is going to happen next. Keep up the great work, i'll be waiting anxiously for more!
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I think I like it. I was hesitant to read it when the first chapter came out, but I've taken the time now and I'm glad I did. Interesting about Sasuke's and Naruto's scars-they both appeared when they were around each other. I wonder if this might show that they were connected when they were alive. Also I wanted to note the earrings-the angels(Naruto) earrings are black, and the demons(Sasuke) are silver. Hmmm, I can't wait to see how this all comes into play. A few spelling errors I noticed-cherubims was mispelled in the first chapter and a few other ones in the second chapter I can't recall right now. Overall, good start. Ciao!
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good stuff, please continue! I look forward to your next update.
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Woo~ ! Am pleased with this fic. Muchly pleased! I love seeing highly original plots regarding SasuNaru, and this is certainly that. I really enjoyed the detailed writing style, and am looking forward to future chappies. Oh yeah, you shouldn't feel pressured to toss in smut for instant gratification reasons, you know. SasuNaru fans enjoy good plot as well as good smut, na? *glomppa* Keep at it! XD
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Glad you updated the story. Sorry, I didn't recognize you in the channel. Things have been crazy lately.
Well, I finished reading chapter 2. It was a wonderful chapter in terms of how the plot has been moving. Though, the plot hasn't moved a lot, there were a lot of sweet moments to make up for it. I loved the sweet bickering between Sasuke and Naruto; it was very well done. The idea of the mismatched earrings is a really interesting aspect of this story and I like it a lot.
The only thing I'm really questioning in terms of techical stuff would be the placement of a comma between "body" and "form" when you were talking about how Naruto's body had less physical material than vapour. Besides that, I really want to comment on how much description you put into the chapter, especially in the beginning. I don't really see the need to devote a pull paragraph describing how the wind passes through Naruto's wings. The chapter has a lot of description thoughout it and I question the necessity of some of those descriptions towards the actual story and the reader's understanding of the story. Sometimes, less is more, you know what I mean?
Other than the description part, I think everything is great! Great work.
Thank you for writing.
Well, I finished reading chapter 2. It was a wonderful chapter in terms of how the plot has been moving. Though, the plot hasn't moved a lot, there were a lot of sweet moments to make up for it. I loved the sweet bickering between Sasuke and Naruto; it was very well done. The idea of the mismatched earrings is a really interesting aspect of this story and I like it a lot.
The only thing I'm really questioning in terms of techical stuff would be the placement of a comma between "body" and "form" when you were talking about how Naruto's body had less physical material than vapour. Besides that, I really want to comment on how much description you put into the chapter, especially in the beginning. I don't really see the need to devote a pull paragraph describing how the wind passes through Naruto's wings. The chapter has a lot of description thoughout it and I question the necessity of some of those descriptions towards the actual story and the reader's understanding of the story. Sometimes, less is more, you know what I mean?
Other than the description part, I think everything is great! Great work.
Thank you for writing.
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*giggle*
Well sanku for updatin'^^
I really like this chap!!
It's so sweet and cute (and kinda naughty ^.~)
Anyways I'm lookin' forward to the next chap^^
Update soon^^
Well sanku for updatin'^^
I really like this chap!!
It's so sweet and cute (and kinda naughty ^.~)
Anyways I'm lookin' forward to the next chap^^
Update soon^^
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March 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
YOU HAVE TO UPDATE OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOU! i love thid fic and can't wait till the next chappy!