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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it so much it hurts. :O *lovelovelove* write more.
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it love it love it love!! I've been waiting awhile to finally read this since you were talking about it in IRC, but my goodness, it's even better than I imagined! The experience of flying was perfect and totally understandable, and I love all the small details about Naruto that you created for his angelic character. His past sounds like something really interesting, and I can't wait to see more of it revealed. And Sasuke in a trench coat *drools* you just know how to pick them right don't you? lol I really look forward to reading more of this, and if the next chapters are anywhere near as good as this first one, you've got yourself a one-way ticket for getting recc'd to Collide quite quickly. Good luck with the writing! Update soon!
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow! This sounds so cool! I really like your first chappie! Let me guess, Satan is either Itachi or Gaara (red hair, ne?), and Sasuke is the second in command? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.... Please don't make me wait too long! ^_~
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I liked the intro, especially the scene where Naruto jumped off the ledge and spread his wings. It was a simple and beautiful imagery.
The idea of having Naruto try and piece his past life (if it could be called that) is very intriging, very different. I love the glimsps of his past that we see, especially the chained down Naruto who was probably with Sasuke. I thought the part where the mysterious person said "I love you." was really bitter-sweet.
*laughs at the sentence* "Girls would be girls regardless of their state of existence."
Gawd, you're such a good author, hinting at certain things, but never directly tell the reader. It was like "So. Lucifer had chosen a second in command."...and that just screamed..."SASUKE!" to me. *laughs*
It surprised me that the angels just talked about Lucifer and The Desk without any code words. What if other people heard their conversation? (judging from the waitress thingy, they already have?)
I thought it was rather funny that Chouji was the one that spoke up when Sasuke and Naruto were "stuck like tar". It felt more like a Shikamaru thing, maybe he had been hanging around Shikamaru too much.
"I slipped on my coat?" Righhhhhhhht, sasuke..we know you just wanted to see Naru-chan up close and personal *purrs*
Overall, I really liked this chapter. It eluded to a lot of things and certain hints were thrown in to confirm my suspicions. I think this is way to really grab a reader's attention and hold on to it (cause now i want to know all about Naruto's past). I wasn't a big fan of the intro notes in the beginning. Personally, I would have preferred them at the end of the chapter. I guess that's just a personal preference because if you asked me, it didn't really help me gain a further understanding of the different positions of angels. The explainations embedded in the story did a sufficient job, if you ask me.
There was a little excessive imagery description describing Naruto in the beginning of the chapter, but it wasn't that bad (just something I felt). Once again, that might be a personal preference so don't take the comment to heart.
Anyways, thank you for writing such an interesting piece. I think it'll do very well!
kayoko
The idea of having Naruto try and piece his past life (if it could be called that) is very intriging, very different. I love the glimsps of his past that we see, especially the chained down Naruto who was probably with Sasuke. I thought the part where the mysterious person said "I love you." was really bitter-sweet.
*laughs at the sentence* "Girls would be girls regardless of their state of existence."
Gawd, you're such a good author, hinting at certain things, but never directly tell the reader. It was like "So. Lucifer had chosen a second in command."...and that just screamed..."SASUKE!" to me. *laughs*
It surprised me that the angels just talked about Lucifer and The Desk without any code words. What if other people heard their conversation? (judging from the waitress thingy, they already have?)
I thought it was rather funny that Chouji was the one that spoke up when Sasuke and Naruto were "stuck like tar". It felt more like a Shikamaru thing, maybe he had been hanging around Shikamaru too much.
"I slipped on my coat?" Righhhhhhhht, sasuke..we know you just wanted to see Naru-chan up close and personal *purrs*
Overall, I really liked this chapter. It eluded to a lot of things and certain hints were thrown in to confirm my suspicions. I think this is way to really grab a reader's attention and hold on to it (cause now i want to know all about Naruto's past). I wasn't a big fan of the intro notes in the beginning. Personally, I would have preferred them at the end of the chapter. I guess that's just a personal preference because if you asked me, it didn't really help me gain a further understanding of the different positions of angels. The explainations embedded in the story did a sufficient job, if you ask me.
There was a little excessive imagery description describing Naruto in the beginning of the chapter, but it wasn't that bad (just something I felt). Once again, that might be a personal preference so don't take the comment to heart.
Anyways, thank you for writing such an interesting piece. I think it'll do very well!
kayoko
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You know how much I love your writing. This is no exception. I love the plot and the characterization as well as what symbolism you use in your story. This literally has to be one of the best fics I've had the pleasure of reading. I can't wait for more, because I know it's going to be just as awesomely outstanding as this chapter. Well done on creating a fantastic AU story. <3
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow! What a great plot-line!!
I love the way Naruto was entranced...! That was so cool!!!! But I still hate Sasuke *glares at him*
It's interesting though..I wonder if Sasuke "tripped on his long black coat" on purpose because he's protecting the waitress...I wonder if the waitress is Sakura... Hmmm whoever it is, great plot line. Please don't take too long in updating. Such great stories should be done quicker ;)
I love the way Naruto was entranced...! That was so cool!!!! But I still hate Sasuke *glares at him*
It's interesting though..I wonder if Sasuke "tripped on his long black coat" on purpose because he's protecting the waitress...I wonder if the waitress is Sakura... Hmmm whoever it is, great plot line. Please don't take too long in updating. Such great stories should be done quicker ;)
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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Reading the summery I was a little wary, but as I began to read the stroy I found my self very impressed in you aproach. And your writing flows very well. I can't wait to see more. Keep up the good work.