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schedule
April 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I agree with Silver, Sasuke should be less beating-like, if not then Narutoshould go to Shikamaru..but, if you want to leave it at SasuNaru can you please level down the beating? ^_^;
schedule
April 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story turnd out to be quit scarry 0.0;;
I just finished a course on the signals of a dangerous relationship, and, your story has all of tham....
...Any way, the smut parts are nicly done^^ ( 12.5 inches 0.o!!)
Sorry for asking that, but is this story some kind of a cry for help ?.....Is somone hurting you in the real life?.....
It's just that I allredy saw staff like that happen-A girl wrote a story that hed subliminal message that her boyfriend abuses her, and poblished it in her blog because she was frightend to ask for helpin any other way ^^;;;
naa, it's just the paranoid me......
And for the story-as much as I love SasuNaru fics, if sasuke wont change soon, I think you shold let shikamaru kun have him (any way he wants......heheheh...^^;)
Thats all!! sorry for the speling!
I just finished a course on the signals of a dangerous relationship, and, your story has all of tham....
...Any way, the smut parts are nicly done^^ ( 12.5 inches 0.o!!)
Sorry for asking that, but is this story some kind of a cry for help ?.....Is somone hurting you in the real life?.....
It's just that I allredy saw staff like that happen-A girl wrote a story that hed subliminal message that her boyfriend abuses her, and poblished it in her blog because she was frightend to ask for helpin any other way ^^;;;
naa, it's just the paranoid me......
And for the story-as much as I love SasuNaru fics, if sasuke wont change soon, I think you shold let shikamaru kun have him (any way he wants......heheheh...^^;)
Thats all!! sorry for the speling!
schedule
April 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice chap 4, I love a possessive Sasuke, but will there be some ShikaNaru, too? That pairing is kawaii!!
schedule
April 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh wow! This story rocks!!! Itz kinda funny and fuzzy~fluffy but wonderful!! now, this story is one of the best SasuNaru story.=) please do update soon!
schedule
April 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
sasuke's last name is uchiha
schedule
April 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I wondering, why is chapter three so short? Anyways, I hope the next one is a good one ^_^
schedule
April 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I have to admit I didn't bother reading the whole story. Why? Because the Characters are one dimensional and utterly unbelievable, paragraphs chunky, there's a distinct lack of flow and the plot is juvenile and clichéd.
From what I can see you seem to be very young and weak at English, which makes me think that it may not be your first language. Am I right? If yes then I'd suggest writing in your mother tongue for a while, until you have at least had more experience with the basics of prose and had a chance to take more language courses. Then maybe you can try English again. If you’re not young or writing in a second language then you're probably hopeless. Either way you don't seem to be absorbing any of the useful suggestions that previous reviewers left under other stories, or spending much time revising your work, which makes me think that I'm probably wasting my time submitting this review... sigh.
Final Verdict: a poorly written piece of garbage.
From what I can see you seem to be very young and weak at English, which makes me think that it may not be your first language. Am I right? If yes then I'd suggest writing in your mother tongue for a while, until you have at least had more experience with the basics of prose and had a chance to take more language courses. Then maybe you can try English again. If you’re not young or writing in a second language then you're probably hopeless. Either way you don't seem to be absorbing any of the useful suggestions that previous reviewers left under other stories, or spending much time revising your work, which makes me think that I'm probably wasting my time submitting this review... sigh.
Final Verdict: a poorly written piece of garbage.
schedule
April 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I liked the first two chapters, but third chapter was too short and kinda random.
schedule
April 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I didn't even read it because it's too hard to read. Space out the paragraphs.
schedule
April 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love your story ^_^ i can't wait to see how it turns out, but it's all scrunch together like for example:
"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
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I would be able to read it better if there were lines and spaces betweem then like:
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"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
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^_ ^ Okies> ^_^ But it's still a very good story!! Keep up the good work, and please update soon ^_^
Ja Ne!
"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
-----------------------------------------
I would be able to read it better if there were lines and spaces betweem then like:
---------------------------
"Example example example example"
"Example example example example"
------------------------------------------------
^_ ^ Okies> ^_^ But it's still a very good story!! Keep up the good work, and please update soon ^_^
Ja Ne!