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December 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I officially love you. Please continue soon! Great story, and the characters are pretty much in character despite the smutty-ness and PWP-ness of the story.
They will get together in the end, right?
SK
They will get together in the end, right?
SK
schedule
December 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
cant wait for the next one! rock on! \m/
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey...I really like the story...it's so pervy and kinky *giggles*...Anyway, even though I generally liked the story, I'd like to point out some mistakes in Chapter 2:
1. naval - anything that has to do with the sea
navel - a part of the human body
> this is just a short definition to differentiate the two...You got the right spelling later in the chapter but at the beginning the navel was always naval.
2. These sentences/phrases do not make any sense at all:
a. Sasuke tightened his grip on the pen as he recorded Naruto's new grade in his of items as he recorded Naruto's new grade.
> The sentence is redundant. :P
b. He missed those bright he missed the blonde's chatter,
> you have to insert a noun after the word 'bright' and a period or a colon after that noun.
Please don't think that I hate your story. It's just that it's a bit distracting when you read and you're enjoying and then you notice something wrong. I sorta lose my focus when this happens. But I like your story so far so please keep on writing. :D
1. naval - anything that has to do with the sea
navel - a part of the human body
> this is just a short definition to differentiate the two...You got the right spelling later in the chapter but at the beginning the navel was always naval.
2. These sentences/phrases do not make any sense at all:
a. Sasuke tightened his grip on the pen as he recorded Naruto's new grade in his of items as he recorded Naruto's new grade.
> The sentence is redundant. :P
b. He missed those bright he missed the blonde's chatter,
> you have to insert a noun after the word 'bright' and a period or a colon after that noun.
Please don't think that I hate your story. It's just that it's a bit distracting when you read and you're enjoying and then you notice something wrong. I sorta lose my focus when this happens. But I like your story so far so please keep on writing. :D
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yum yum soooooooooooooooo yuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyy
waaaaaaaannnt moooooore no no neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed more
please please update soon
waaaaaaaannnt moooooore no no neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed more
please please update soon
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
omggggggggg that was HOTT......update?? soon?? pretty please????? ty ty, much huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
O.o..............!cant rape teh willing!
please continue.
please continue.
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow, this is a wonderful! it's awesome that you're continuing! fantastic work!
-xtaintedreflection
-xtaintedreflection
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I totally forgot about this fic!!!! I do love it, though- so sexy. Also, I like how you gave hints about Naruto actually being good at math in this chapter... I sense a devious Naruto-plan to get sexy Sasuke to 'take advantage' of him... hehehe. Gotta love it. (And I so do!) Thank you for the update, and I look forward to your next chapter.
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ooOOOoooo! Sasuke's desperate....
schedule
December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Crossdressing! My favourite. I really like the plot actually, it's new, it's fresh, it's interesting. Your porn scenes are clear and nice too! You leave that there and I'll... I'll I don't know. Very threatening aren't I?