rate_review Reviews

Damn, that was some hardcore shit. At least if it wasn't anal, it wouldn't have hurt so much.

I like your story I just wish there were more stories on this site with men having anal sex with women!:)

that was harsh even if she is mean to him. What made him become controlled by the Kyuubi and what will happen next will he change her to be his or what will happen after everything is all said and done

ILOVE YOU!!!!!!!

yo that was hot please continue

That was really short and fast. Try adding a few more descriptions and sticking to a tense. For example you wrote: "His hand shot out and yanked her panties down and off." a past tense sentence. Then later you write (in the same paragraph I might add): "Sakura is screaming and thrashing as much as she can." A better way to write the second sentence would be: "Sakura WAS screaming and thrashing as much as she COULD." Also start a new papagraph every time the speaker changes.

I highly recommend a beta who would be able to recongize these errors and correct them or offer suggestions.

I'm about to pull a 'Simon' off American Idol:

Absolutely dreadful, it was the was thing I've ever read in my life. Just plain horrible. I don't mean to be rude, but...this is the honest truth. I am sorry.

OUCH...hell I don't even like Sakura that much but damn I wouldn't want that to happen to her...POOR Sakura (can't belive I said that...I usually like Sakura bashing but raping....is another story) oh well, I hope Naruto snaps out of it soon and comes to terms w/what he did...does he even know he did it???

Crap! Crappity crap! The content isn't what's wrong with the story here, you just can't write worth beans. You must be one of those thirteen year-olds that the admins were talking about some weeks back. Learn how to write.

The story was decent, but you need to work on your length. I hope it's not a one shot.