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May 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice set up of the story. You got a good plot going. Btw shouldn't Shinobi have one better then getting their food stolen by a bear? Btw is that a bear touching Naruto?
Keep up the good work. coolsa.
Keep up the good work. coolsa.
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May 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
gawd, I LOVE this fic~! XDXDXD so hilarious~! please continue your roll and get on with the story~! XDXD I want to read more! Oh, and yeah, writing it all on paper first sucks.... ^^; I try not to do that. such a waste of time. of course, if school's where you get your inspiration, then hey!
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
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May 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I say it's a snake, or badger, a badger would be more fun. Soooo, uh, when are they going to build a shelter?
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
not to bad for a first chapter. the idea is quite funny lol, and Kakashi idea .... I think it will happens
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
LMAO, that was sooooooo funny!!! ^^ I can't wait for the next chapter -- keep up the good work, and update ASAP!!!
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Haha xD I love this! The humor in it is really entertaining ^^ I hope to read your update soon =)
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey! That was awsome!!!OOOUUUUUHHH i wish chapter 2 would come out fast! Well, you got a great begining here so keep on going, it's REALLY GREAT!^_^
Oh and by the way, i think my heart actually stop beating for a couple of seconds, i almost died from laughing with Kakashi's-passionate-love-makin-deal! That was funny...
Anyway, your fic caught all my attention so PLEEEEASE...chp 2 fast...HÉHÉ =)
See ya
Oh and by the way, i think my heart actually stop beating for a couple of seconds, i almost died from laughing with Kakashi's-passionate-love-makin-deal! That was funny...
Anyway, your fic caught all my attention so PLEEEEASE...chp 2 fast...HÉHÉ =)
See ya
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Cute beginning. I can't wait to see what you do with this.
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
lol. funny. i really like the story line. i wonder how and when they will realize their feeling towards each other. hrmmm. lol. soon hopefully! *big grin* i was kinda thinking of naruto catching fishes and sasuke watching him and then realizing hiw good naruto looks. lol. i know its cliche and all but hey! sounds good to me. lol XD haha. looking foward 2 the next chappi!
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey there! I loved Kakashi's line in the first chapter..for a second I thought he was serious, lol. I like that you decided to wait until it made sense to have them jump on each other. Most people would've taken your idea and had them just jump each other in about...oh...ten minutes after they got out there? I'm interested in seeing where you take this. The only suggestion I have for improvement is to make sure you space out the dialogue. It gets tough to read when the lines are scrunched together on the page. The first chapter was done correctly.
Anyway! Continue soon, I want to see what happens. ^_^
Akai
Anyway! Continue soon, I want to see what happens. ^_^
Akai