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May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
nummy
update soon
update soon
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great fic please update soon
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh god it was im soooooooooo looking forword to the next chapter does ther teacher find out and gives naurto points or the other???
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You have a very good start to this story. There are a couple grammatical and spelling errors, but they are not too bad. The only thing that would help this story, that I can think of at least, is that you get lost in the character's minds a little too much. Try letting the readers know the what,when,where as much as the who. I congratulate you on your smut though. Nicely done.
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yeah, it was...(in reply to your A/N). Loved it...very hot. Please write more, as soon as you can!
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I know. I always get all flustered whenever I write smut too.
You just have to keep coming back and finish the story... and then re-read it and correct any little bits. You need to do this at least twice, and then you end up with a much better lemon.
You just have to keep coming back and finish the story... and then re-read it and correct any little bits. You need to do this at least twice, and then you end up with a much better lemon.
schedule
May 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very nice job. Quite delicious really. Can't wait to see how they'll react towards each other the next morning and how Gaara's arrival will affect them both. Anyways, later ^_^
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May 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Mwuhaha: //“Yo. Sorry I’m late. There was this dolphin and I just couldn’t resist stroking him.” Kakashi said with a grin.
LMAO
Lovely inuendo right there. LoL. This looks really promising. I only wish you'd been a little more... *discriptive* with the masturbation/sex scene. What can I say? I'm a perv.
LMAO
Lovely inuendo right there. LoL. This looks really promising. I only wish you'd been a little more... *discriptive* with the masturbation/sex scene. What can I say? I'm a perv.
schedule
May 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh come OHN!!! when is the next chapter comming?! mhmmm... comming... ARGH!! foret that! i wanna see the next chapter!
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May 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow! This was great! You have some amazingly funny lines in this one, so I can't wait for more! I especially can't wait to see what Sasuke's reaction is! Can I have some more, please? :)