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October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
just a tiny suggestion, get a spell program
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October 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i like plz update
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September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG THIS STORY SUCKS! IF YOU CAN'T SPELL THEN DO NOT WRITE A STORY, GO SCREW YOURSELF IN HELL YOU DIPSHIT!
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September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
IF YOU FIX THE FUCKING SPELLING MISTAKES THEN YOU'RE GOING FAR! I'M BEGINNING TO SUSPECT YOU'RE 7 OR 9! COULD BE EVEN 6!
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June 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
very good for a start. as a rule of thumb- reread your chapters they could use alot of work. I bet you are trying to type these chapters as fast as they come to you and your mind gets a head of your fingers. you have good content. just go back and reedit your first two chapters then go from there. If you can.
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June 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
good, very good, in fact... I'M STILL LUVIN IT!!!! XD NEXT CHAPPIE ONEGAI!!!!
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June 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you have a really interesting fic going on here keep it up make sure to watch out for spelling errors there were minor ones in the chapter. other than that this is a very good fic keep up the good work. update soon
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June 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Pretty interesting. I like how you made team seven into a four man team. I also like how you make Naruto and Naraki so close. Its cute how protective Naruto is of her. If you do do pairings, will they be m/m or m/f, cause personally, m/m is the best. but I'm not the writer here. Its your story. cant wait for the next chapter.
Update soon!
Update soon!
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May 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I must admit, I didn't think that this was going to be very good, but you proved me wrong. You did have a few spelling mistakes, but they can be easily fixed.
I'm interested to know how you will take this story. Do you plan on having any kind of pairings? Or is this just going to be a relationship between brother and sister? And if so, what kind of relationship? Do you plan on following the main story line? Or are you going to take things a different direction?
I hope that you update soon, I really do want to read more.
I'm interested to know how you will take this story. Do you plan on having any kind of pairings? Or is this just going to be a relationship between brother and sister? And if so, what kind of relationship? Do you plan on following the main story line? Or are you going to take things a different direction?
I hope that you update soon, I really do want to read more.
schedule
May 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
not bad, your grammar and spelling need a little work but other than that its pretty good. Keep up the good work and consider a beta.