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June 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i really like this fic! i hope you continue! this is one of my favorites! please update soon!
~Fly-chan~
~Fly-chan~
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March 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
o.O
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August 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is awsome. Hope you updat soon. Please e-mail me when you do so.
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June 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Where are you?????????????
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June 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Weeeee! Love Oro!!!
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July 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was awesome dude! lol I shouldn't be readin it but it's like soooooooooo awesome....lol :P
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June 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Chains Sasuke,Orochimaru.I'm hemareging badly here,have mercy,finish me off.
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June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Paragraphs are good for understanding. Change paragraphs after someone starts talking.
Ex. "I liked your story!" Sakura grinned.
"But you could use some paragraphs." Sasuke grumbled, reluctant to say anything.
"But OroSasu rocks!!" Naruto said, oblivious to the surprised stares the others gave him.
Also, switch paragraphs when you switch subjects. For example, one paragraph describe how Orochimaru comes in. The next is about how he gets Sasuke on the bed (or wall!). Then sexy talking before sex, etc.
Good job!
Ex. "I liked your story!" Sakura grinned.
"But you could use some paragraphs." Sasuke grumbled, reluctant to say anything.
"But OroSasu rocks!!" Naruto said, oblivious to the surprised stares the others gave him.
Also, switch paragraphs when you switch subjects. For example, one paragraph describe how Orochimaru comes in. The next is about how he gets Sasuke on the bed (or wall!). Then sexy talking before sex, etc.
Good job!
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June 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Call me desperate but I like it.You really do seem to have Orochimaru down,it is getting a little clearer what they are up to.Cool.Chains eh?OK! I luv it.Go nuts!
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June 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
They got a bigger and better play room/s ,excellent,rubs hands,let the INSANITY begin yeah.