rate_review Reviews

Not very good. You need to work on your descriptive skills.

Good oneshot for your first try...I liked it.

I think you definetly have some potential here. It's a good start for your first fanfic--but it reads a little dry. Insteaf of listing the things they do...(And then he took off his clothes and then he positioned himself and then they...) perhaps--and this is just me--maybe walk around what they're doing instead of just stating it. Include more of the character's emotional state...using expressive, interesting language--instead of just cut and dry will help keep the reader's interest. Let the reader figure out what your characters are doing instead of making bland statements.

But that's just me. ^_^ Take it or leave it. Overall--this has potential! Keep practicing!

I think thins pairing needs a more complex plot. A man like Kakashi doesn't fall in love the same way a teenager does.

Arggggghhhh please don't leave us hanging here! The suspense is killing me!!

I love kakasaku, and there just isn't enough of them out there!!!!
PLease update soon! ^^

GAAAAA! update soon. Please don't just leave us there!

-Chelsey- AKA: HisBeautiful

nice start!!! please continue :D