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August 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You write the best Hinata. Period.
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August 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like your writing even though the abuse to Hinata makes me very depressed, is there a chance of Hinata breaking free of her situation and ending up with her Naruto? Im gonna keep reading hoping so anyways. >^..^<
^^
^^
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August 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The indirect kiss scene was funny!! I wonder where Neji is? UPDATE SOON!!
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August 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well, interesting things are shaping up. Please update soon ^^
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August 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Damn it Neji, Hinata isn't Tenten! Hinata should tell him that... not that it'd do the situation any good, it might even get him more mad. >_> Damn it Tenten, this is also your fault, what exactly did you do to get Neji this possessive, why can't you just break it off? Well, she probably did try to...
I really like the way you portray things in this fic. Hinata's victim mentality is depicted in a very interesting way: she's in denial, repressing her thoughts, and indeed, trying to think of more positive things instead. She even interrupted her line of thoughts which would have lead her to the conclusion that Neji probably did all the bandaging himself (not necessarily, but if Hanabi were helping and saw how sloppy he is, she probably would have taken over). Where did the night gown come from? And she tells herself that not telling is better, she's isolating herself and trying to convince herself that it will all pass. Who does Hinata think she's fooling...
Neji is... violent, obviously frustrated. As he said himself, he took on Hinata as just a means to an end in the beginning. Though... it seems that he enjoys his cousin's presence more than he thought he would, so it seems that he wouldn't mind being in an "affectionate" relationship with her, whatever that translates into in his twisted mind. At least... holding hands and all that, even if Hinata's still a mere means to an end. He's using her to compensate for not having Tenten, but if this goes on, he might transfer everything else, which would be devastating for poor Hinata: right now, Neji doesn't care for example that Hinata likes Naruto, but if he starts seeing her as a replacement for Tenten in every aspect...
Sasuke, his role in this fic isn't 100% clear. Sure, it seems that you might have plans for him, but at this stage he just seems mildly curious by her infatuation with Naruto. He'll also be having Sakura and Ino on his back, THAT will be rather fun to read (the part about Hinata quickly putting back Sasuke's underwear was funny as well. Eh-heh, nope, that's not Naruto's).
Shino seems likes the person Hinata can trust most in this story. He obviously suspects that something has gone wrong, though being his quiet self, he won't speak it out, though by arriving early each day it seems as though he wants to tell Hinata that he's there for her. He's obviously concerned for her, while apparently also having feelings for her, but to the opposite of Neji, he doesn't insist on anything. He's just there in case Hinata needs any help. I personally like this portrayal, as things go worse at least there's one person Hinata can trust.
Interestingly enough, not all cultures consider cousin relationships as incest. Many royal families have been known to "interbreed" in order to keep the line "pure" as well. Obviously though, in this particular fic NejiHina should be considered incest for story purposes. We'll see. Oh yes, and unless I'm mistaken, Neji told Hiashi that Hinata's doing poorly, and asked to train her instead? Are those what those letters are for? Poor Hinata. Well, at least she really will improve fast. With the threat of getting raped in case she loses on the front of her mind, she sure wouldn't back down until she absolutely won't be able to get up again. =\
I really like this so far in any case. Continue!
I really like the way you portray things in this fic. Hinata's victim mentality is depicted in a very interesting way: she's in denial, repressing her thoughts, and indeed, trying to think of more positive things instead. She even interrupted her line of thoughts which would have lead her to the conclusion that Neji probably did all the bandaging himself (not necessarily, but if Hanabi were helping and saw how sloppy he is, she probably would have taken over). Where did the night gown come from? And she tells herself that not telling is better, she's isolating herself and trying to convince herself that it will all pass. Who does Hinata think she's fooling...
Neji is... violent, obviously frustrated. As he said himself, he took on Hinata as just a means to an end in the beginning. Though... it seems that he enjoys his cousin's presence more than he thought he would, so it seems that he wouldn't mind being in an "affectionate" relationship with her, whatever that translates into in his twisted mind. At least... holding hands and all that, even if Hinata's still a mere means to an end. He's using her to compensate for not having Tenten, but if this goes on, he might transfer everything else, which would be devastating for poor Hinata: right now, Neji doesn't care for example that Hinata likes Naruto, but if he starts seeing her as a replacement for Tenten in every aspect...
Sasuke, his role in this fic isn't 100% clear. Sure, it seems that you might have plans for him, but at this stage he just seems mildly curious by her infatuation with Naruto. He'll also be having Sakura and Ino on his back, THAT will be rather fun to read (the part about Hinata quickly putting back Sasuke's underwear was funny as well. Eh-heh, nope, that's not Naruto's).
Shino seems likes the person Hinata can trust most in this story. He obviously suspects that something has gone wrong, though being his quiet self, he won't speak it out, though by arriving early each day it seems as though he wants to tell Hinata that he's there for her. He's obviously concerned for her, while apparently also having feelings for her, but to the opposite of Neji, he doesn't insist on anything. He's just there in case Hinata needs any help. I personally like this portrayal, as things go worse at least there's one person Hinata can trust.
Interestingly enough, not all cultures consider cousin relationships as incest. Many royal families have been known to "interbreed" in order to keep the line "pure" as well. Obviously though, in this particular fic NejiHina should be considered incest for story purposes. We'll see. Oh yes, and unless I'm mistaken, Neji told Hiashi that Hinata's doing poorly, and asked to train her instead? Are those what those letters are for? Poor Hinata. Well, at least she really will improve fast. With the threat of getting raped in case she loses on the front of her mind, she sure wouldn't back down until she absolutely won't be able to get up again. =\
I really like this so far in any case. Continue!
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August 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey, this is pretty good. This...I like...
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July 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I wonder ....Will you focus on a specific pairing ? I mean... Hinata x ?
maybe I'm imagining things ^^ but Sasuke is observing Hinata a lot lately , sasuke/hinata is a interesting pairing ( personaly, the best )
maybe I'm imagining things ^^ but Sasuke is observing Hinata a lot lately , sasuke/hinata is a interesting pairing ( personaly, the best )
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July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You have an excellent ability. You got me, hook, line, and sinker. I loved just about every aspect of your story. While I noticed the small discrepancies between your Konoha and Kishimoto's Konoha, it did not, like some stories, affect readability. It was very clear and concise. An exceptional read. I was pleasantly disturbed by Neji's actions toward Hinata. I'm a big fan of Uchihacest and usually go for the more incestual pairings, but you made it seem like the horror it really is. Great job in that ^_^ I'm feeling the ShinoxHinata brewing and am hoping for a happy outcome in that area. And I must say, I hope Neji gets a good kick in the teeth, so to speak. I'll be placing this story in my recommended reading and will be back for more. In short, I love your work!
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July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great story, great plot, update soon, just wanna make sure though, will the main pairing be Neji/Hinata or you had another plan of pairings beside Hanab/Konohamaru? Neji here is really being a bastard, not that I blamed him, he suffered a lot. His and Hinata's relationship are really twisted, but hey, that can work actually.
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July 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes! *thumbs up* No bulimic Hinata!! NOW GIVE US A CHAPTER!!