rate_review Reviews

Nice. Very nice. This story is excellent and if you didn't know that before, you do now. Your writing style is wonderful, it really is. And the way you told the story...God, you're awesome. The little things in italics were a great touch. It expresses so much in such a brief statement and it complements and enhances everything around it. The story was hot, too. As in, 127 deegrees scorching hot... I love everything about this story and it is one of my favorites. You just captured them so well and put them together in such...in such a...i don't have a word for it way. This story captivated me. I like the way you portrayed everything too...movements, feelings, sensations.....and I think your use of adjectives is great... Anyway, spectacular. I can't describe how great it is enough (or what exactly I like the most about it). Please keep up the good work.

Kayo

OMG!!!! I LOVE IT WAFF WAFF WAFF WAFF WAFF WAFF WARM AND FUZZIES FOR EVERYONE!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!! I seriously cannot find a thing wrong with it (I looked ) If anything is perfect in this life, that fanfic was. ^^

Incorrect usage of the word metronymic:

"Sasuke uncharacteristically scrambled backwards, pushing against Naruto with a sort of strange desperation, the panicky thudding of his heart keeping odd metronymic time with his harsh breathing."


met•ro•nym•ic

Of, relating to, or derived from the name of one's mother or maternal ancestor.

n.

A name so derived.

kinky!!! *cheers* I love the way you describe their feelings--umm, not really, but urges and the like--towards each other.. very introspective and in-depth, and with minimized amount of dialogue, you let your descriptive words about their actions tell everything about their hesitations and their words. One of the best SasuNaru oneshots I've read --not exactly WAFF, fluff, angst, or deathfic [w/c is the usual genres for oneshots]-- and I'd really love to see more of your beautiful writing --as long as it's SasuNaru ^__^

++maybe you could do the same with Neji and Gaara? After all, they both have a tattoo/seal of some sort... *shrugs*

GREAT JOB!!! :D

>> Seto's Darkness <<

That was amazing, I just LOVE you wording! And It was cute too. In a strange way for me. With angst mixed it! It was prefect! I love it, I think it's my favorite. Is it just gonna be a oneshot? Cause it's so good it CAN just be one.

I admit that I don't really remember most of the first version of this. The erotic seal-play, that stuck in my mind. How they got to that point, not so stuck. Maybe I was just hormonal at the time.

This version, the whole thing is phenomenal, but I especially like everything starting with the gravity metaphor. Sasuke can only liken his attention and actions to the overwhelming force of gravity (with Naruto as his large, forceful sun-star. Corny, but I just had to mention that.) Naruto's own interpretation of Sasuke's moves towards him eeriely echoes Sasuke's.

The whole interlude is an intimate conversation between their bodies. Not to say they're lacking any mental involvement, but it's like their relationship is such that they don't /say/ anything so much as /show/ it. So what they're saying here is:

Sasu: Hey, what's that weird black mark on your sto--you have a seal too!
Naru: So?
Sasu: Even here, we're so alike. I've always felt so singular. And weak, which is something I try to hide or get rid of, but I don't have to with you, because you know me so well, and you still stay with me, help me. I HAVE TO TOUCH IT!
Naru: Huh? Eh? Well, ok. But don't try anything funny!
Sasu: Coolios! Ooh, you're so warm, like live things are. Warm me up, now!
Naru: This is kinda what I meant by nothing funny, but forget about that...I want to fuck you like an animal.

...

Uh...yeah. Okay, I think that got away from me. I'll just go now.

OMG... your writing is so beautiful and description. You have a way of expressing and describing that's so creative - something I'd like to achieve over time.

That was nifty and sexy. Good to have some people out there who can keep them in character.

Unbelievably beautiful, some words I haven't even heard of and needed to look up in a dictionary, great characterization, excellent description of the tension between Naruto and Sasuke. Oh, the potential! I love it. I envy you. Congrats and hugs, Haruko ^_^

<3