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July 28, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3: Haha! XD Love how Itachi gets loud in this story. XD ____ HAHAHA! “You open it, I don’t care.” “… You aren’t naked, are you?” (Yes.) XDDDD ♥ ____ Funny portrayal of Kisame. ____ “I’m taking Sasuke back with me.” “Was he that good?” LOL! XD ____ I like him! He’s funny! ____ Uh-oh. Itachi interrupted something. ____ I love Orochimaru’s confidence of the situation. ____ “If he’s so important to you, then.” Hmmm … I don’t think Orochimaru’s just going to let Sasuke go. ____ Y’know, Itachi seems pretty confident that Orochimaru has no power over him—and with good reason—but it’s always possible that Orochimaru could still do more damage than he’d expect. ____ I like how Orochimaru isn’t coming off as completely weak, either. His words have a point. ____ I like how Orochimaru shows little regard for Sasuke. And can still find places to hurt with his words. Thanks for not making him weak. =) ____ Ooooh, ouch. Orochimaru knows how to use words effectively. ____ I’m surprised Itachi didn’t head right away for Sasuke’s room (unless he doesn’t know where it is). ____ Ouch. “Oh no, my dear boy … You’re going with him. I don’t want something as weak willed as you.” OUCH. ____ “or staid with Itachi while they signed the treaties.” You mean “stayed.” ____ I like how Sasuke doesn’t react to Orochimaru’s touch. Victims tend to react in a lot of rape scenes in fanfiction, I noticed, even when it’s not a case of roleplay-rape. And I also like how Orochimaru’s all like, “fine, screw it, not worth it anyway.”
C’mon, Itachi, you knew Orochimaru would be up to something. You couldn’t at least stick near Sasuke? ____ Hehe—“Or was Sasuke into that … sort of thing.” ^^ He’d probably rather be the one collaring someone else, though. ____ Aha, there we go. Now he’s thinking. ____ Jeez. What’d he do, cut him or something?! Holy cow…. ____ AWRIGHT, PUNCH! Screw fancy jutsu, let’s start off with a PUNCH!! ____ “After the night he killed his family, Sasuke’s voice had always been strong and filled with fire.” Love that description. ____ Hehe, love Kisame. I also like how Itachi didn’t just kill Orochimaru right then and there. Leave the guy for the future, yay, future conflict! \o/ ____ There’s no way that much blood could come from anal rape. Not enough for “head to toe”, surely. ____ Once again, “staid” should be “stayed”.
C’mon, Itachi, you knew Orochimaru would be up to something. You couldn’t at least stick near Sasuke? ____ Hehe—“Or was Sasuke into that … sort of thing.” ^^ He’d probably rather be the one collaring someone else, though. ____ Aha, there we go. Now he’s thinking. ____ Jeez. What’d he do, cut him or something?! Holy cow…. ____ AWRIGHT, PUNCH! Screw fancy jutsu, let’s start off with a PUNCH!! ____ “After the night he killed his family, Sasuke’s voice had always been strong and filled with fire.” Love that description. ____ Hehe, love Kisame. I also like how Itachi didn’t just kill Orochimaru right then and there. Leave the guy for the future, yay, future conflict! \o/ ____ There’s no way that much blood could come from anal rape. Not enough for “head to toe”, surely. ____ Once again, “staid” should be “stayed”.
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July 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Chapter 1: Good opening scene. ____ Boy, that must hurt, seeing one’s older brother and nemesis being a peace delegate. Smart move on the Akatsuki’s part. ____ I’m surprised Sasuke calls Orochimaru “-sama”. ____ “He smiled and tugged on Sasuke’s leash.” Oh jeez! Not just in private, but in front of others too?! Awww man, that hurts. ____ Present? Did Sasuke anticipate that? ____ Is Orochimaru doing that just to aggravate Sasuke? ____ Lol, Itachi’s totally clueless that Sasuke’s the “present”. ____ “Would the older Uchiha beat his brother … or would he use him as Orochimaru did …” or would he do anything at all? (Probably, but it’s a possibility.) ____ Jeez, that’s harsh. ____ That innuendo about Kabuto … is that literal, or metaphorical? >:D ____ Interesting. Orochimaru’s gambling that Itachi won’t kill Sasuke. And I’m guessing that as reluctant as Sasuke is, he’s still willing to take his chance with Itachi, so long as it means he can still kill him when he’s strong enough. Am I interpreting that right? ____ Man, Orochimaru’s such a sadist….
I like the question and answer about the leash. Could be symbolic to the real story. ____ Heh—I like Itachi’s sarcastic line: “Right, because leashes bring power.” Like, “that makes perfect sense.” XD ____ Cute. Love the exchange between them. ____ I usually have a hard time picturing Sasuke with hair that long, but for some reason, it’s coming easier now. It’s probably still rough-ish, though. ____ Ah. So Sasuke didn’t think Itachi would actually have sex with him. ____ I don’t think Sasuke and Itachi use the word “aniki” with each other. I think they just go with “nii-san”. ____ Lol: “Are you done, stupid?” There’s something funny about Itachi bluntly calling Sasuke “stupid.” XD ____ “You’re not my brother anymore … but you were once.” Good line. And I like Sasuke’s argument, even if it is futile. ____ I like the struggle and how Sasuke’s trying not to be distracted. I also like how Itachi’s a little rough, but not super pushy. ____ Haha! He hit him! Good one, Sasuke! XD ____ By the way, it’s “vise like”. ____ Ooh, ouch. Sasuke found a sensitive spot with Itachi. “Don’t you dare compare me to him.” ____ Yeah, I’ve always wanted to see a squabble between Itachi and Sasuke when they were kids. ____ Haha, “I’m on a fucking leash. What do you think?” I like Itachi’s question, though. If he’s really worried about being compared to Orochimaru, he would want to know what Orochimaru does. ____ Asking Sasuke to show him, however … that’s not going to convince Sasuke that Itachi’s different. ____ Oh! That’s new! Itachi’s saying “do it to me.” Wow. That’s cool. =D ____ Haha, Itachi’s still irritated by Sasuke’s comparison. I like it how Sasuke can get under Itachi’s skin. We need a lot of that in ficcage, if you ask me. ____ Haha, Itachi’s helpless against the comparison. ____ “What the hell around you talking about?” You mean “are”. ____ “Right. How to give him proper head. As good as you may be, I’m sure that won’t cause my death.” (Sex him to death, Sasuke! XD) ____ I wonder if Itachi is really willing to kill Sasuke like that, or if he’s just bluffing. ____ I do like how Sasuke’s not begging for mercy (yet). He put himself in a bad situation, but he’s not looking back. ____ I noticed something. Sasuke and Itachi both seemed to agree (more or less) that Itachi’s not Sasuke’s brother anymore. And yet, Sasuke still calls him “nii-san”. Wouldn’t he just call him by name if he didn’t consider him to be his brother? ____ I knew Itachi didn’t really want to kill Sasuke. ____ (*snicker*) Love it how Itachi threw the pillow at Sasuke. He’s a little bitchy himself, isn’t he? ^^ ____ I love how confused they both are about each other.
Chapter 1: Good opening scene. ____ Boy, that must hurt, seeing one’s older brother and nemesis being a peace delegate. Smart move on the Akatsuki’s part. ____ I’m surprised Sasuke calls Orochimaru “-sama”. ____ “He smiled and tugged on Sasuke’s leash.” Oh jeez! Not just in private, but in front of others too?! Awww man, that hurts. ____ Present? Did Sasuke anticipate that? ____ Is Orochimaru doing that just to aggravate Sasuke? ____ Lol, Itachi’s totally clueless that Sasuke’s the “present”. ____ “Would the older Uchiha beat his brother … or would he use him as Orochimaru did …” or would he do anything at all? (Probably, but it’s a possibility.) ____ Jeez, that’s harsh. ____ That innuendo about Kabuto … is that literal, or metaphorical? >:D ____ Interesting. Orochimaru’s gambling that Itachi won’t kill Sasuke. And I’m guessing that as reluctant as Sasuke is, he’s still willing to take his chance with Itachi, so long as it means he can still kill him when he’s strong enough. Am I interpreting that right? ____ Man, Orochimaru’s such a sadist….
I like the question and answer about the leash. Could be symbolic to the real story. ____ Heh—I like Itachi’s sarcastic line: “Right, because leashes bring power.” Like, “that makes perfect sense.” XD ____ Cute. Love the exchange between them. ____ I usually have a hard time picturing Sasuke with hair that long, but for some reason, it’s coming easier now. It’s probably still rough-ish, though. ____ Ah. So Sasuke didn’t think Itachi would actually have sex with him. ____ I don’t think Sasuke and Itachi use the word “aniki” with each other. I think they just go with “nii-san”. ____ Lol: “Are you done, stupid?” There’s something funny about Itachi bluntly calling Sasuke “stupid.” XD ____ “You’re not my brother anymore … but you were once.” Good line. And I like Sasuke’s argument, even if it is futile. ____ I like the struggle and how Sasuke’s trying not to be distracted. I also like how Itachi’s a little rough, but not super pushy. ____ Haha! He hit him! Good one, Sasuke! XD ____ By the way, it’s “vise like”. ____ Ooh, ouch. Sasuke found a sensitive spot with Itachi. “Don’t you dare compare me to him.” ____ Yeah, I’ve always wanted to see a squabble between Itachi and Sasuke when they were kids. ____ Haha, “I’m on a fucking leash. What do you think?” I like Itachi’s question, though. If he’s really worried about being compared to Orochimaru, he would want to know what Orochimaru does. ____ Asking Sasuke to show him, however … that’s not going to convince Sasuke that Itachi’s different. ____ Oh! That’s new! Itachi’s saying “do it to me.” Wow. That’s cool. =D ____ Haha, Itachi’s still irritated by Sasuke’s comparison. I like it how Sasuke can get under Itachi’s skin. We need a lot of that in ficcage, if you ask me. ____ Haha, Itachi’s helpless against the comparison. ____ “What the hell around you talking about?” You mean “are”. ____ “Right. How to give him proper head. As good as you may be, I’m sure that won’t cause my death.” (Sex him to death, Sasuke! XD) ____ I wonder if Itachi is really willing to kill Sasuke like that, or if he’s just bluffing. ____ I do like how Sasuke’s not begging for mercy (yet). He put himself in a bad situation, but he’s not looking back. ____ I noticed something. Sasuke and Itachi both seemed to agree (more or less) that Itachi’s not Sasuke’s brother anymore. And yet, Sasuke still calls him “nii-san”. Wouldn’t he just call him by name if he didn’t consider him to be his brother? ____ I knew Itachi didn’t really want to kill Sasuke. ____ (*snicker*) Love it how Itachi threw the pillow at Sasuke. He’s a little bitchy himself, isn’t he? ^^ ____ I love how confused they both are about each other.
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January 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I really wish you would update this! It is my second time reading this in the past two years... I really just wish for a ending of sorts. The story is amazing. I love the interaction between Itachi and Sasuke, and the hot lemony-ness isn't too bad either ;)
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February 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey there, I was reading your story and found that you have amazing talent as an author. This is why I am taking some time to invite you over to my website Laefe E-Publishing. I’m looking for young talented authors who have it in them to make creative original works.
I know that you will automatically think that this might be a scam so to help ease your worries you can either check out my own profile on this site so you can see that I am the real deal, or you can add me to Windows Live Messenger that you can ask me any questions that may come to your mind.
Laefe is a new online epublishing and you are among the first group of authors invited over to the site. I hope that you will consider it. You can find Laefe at http://itsuwari.com/bookstore/. My name is Emilia Baptiste, you can call me Emi when we talk on msn @ waterempath@hotmail.com. All the information you will need will be on the website and anything that is not clear you can ask me.
All I ask is that you give Laefe a look and see if it might be where you would like to further progress in your quest to writing your ultimate story. Thank you for your time and I do hope to hear from you soon.
Emi Baptiste
Admin of Itsuwari.com and Laefe Epublishing.
I know that you will automatically think that this might be a scam so to help ease your worries you can either check out my own profile on this site so you can see that I am the real deal, or you can add me to Windows Live Messenger that you can ask me any questions that may come to your mind.
Laefe is a new online epublishing and you are among the first group of authors invited over to the site. I hope that you will consider it. You can find Laefe at http://itsuwari.com/bookstore/. My name is Emilia Baptiste, you can call me Emi when we talk on msn @ waterempath@hotmail.com. All the information you will need will be on the website and anything that is not clear you can ask me.
All I ask is that you give Laefe a look and see if it might be where you would like to further progress in your quest to writing your ultimate story. Thank you for your time and I do hope to hear from you soon.
Emi Baptiste
Admin of Itsuwari.com and Laefe Epublishing.
schedule
October 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*squeal!!!* Ah... Uchihacest T_T... It's so beautiful.. *sniff*
Fabulous chapter XP! I'm so glad they got away from that 'Leader' s.o.b. He really is a lot like Orochimaru... bastard... Anyway, ^^ I love the drama, and the mild angst. Please give Sasuke a happy ending *begs*. And update soon =]
Fabulous chapter XP! I'm so glad they got away from that 'Leader' s.o.b. He really is a lot like Orochimaru... bastard... Anyway, ^^ I love the drama, and the mild angst. Please give Sasuke a happy ending *begs*. And update soon =]
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October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is really good. I just the whole thing and I like it very much. I really do hope Sasuke can change his Itachi's mind.
Can not wait for the next chapter.
Can not wait for the next chapter.
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August 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wowie! Great story!! I absolutely loved it! Seriously, please continue it soon..
Sheesh, this is so good it is keeping me from my summer reading.. xD Cant wait until the next chapter!
~Jamie
Sheesh, this is so good it is keeping me from my summer reading.. xD Cant wait until the next chapter!
~Jamie
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August 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hope you'll continue the story D:
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August 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Dude, this is not even funny. You must... MUST... update...!!!! How rude. Im so addicted. Please update this fic soon... I think I might go crazy if you don't.
Oh and btw.. I like it better with the "Yeah" instead of an "Unnn".
Oh and btw.. I like it better with the "Yeah" instead of an "Unnn".
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
omfg!
ive fallen in love with this story from the very first chapter!
ive been sitting here for the past 3 days reading the 12 chapters you have..and all i can say is...i fucking LOVE it!!!!!!!
god...i cant wait to read more! (although it does make me a really sad that theres only 2 more chapters...T.T)
please please please please update really soon! ^.^
ive fallen in love with this story from the very first chapter!
ive been sitting here for the past 3 days reading the 12 chapters you have..and all i can say is...i fucking LOVE it!!!!!!!
god...i cant wait to read more! (although it does make me a really sad that theres only 2 more chapters...T.T)
please please please please update really soon! ^.^