rate_review Reviews

It's well written and must say I did enjoy it. Too bad it was short xD Also While reading about your challenge I remembered something. When I was in elementary someone wrote a small essay in one huge sentence. Imagine a page long essay and only period at the very end. Our teacher then said "I lost my breath reading it." xDD Well why don't you try reading your own fiction in exhaling only when you see a period. xDD I tried and I failed xDDD

All in all, good work! d^^b

Short and sweet...I loved it! Go Gaara!

Has no feeling, and there's barely any heated kissing. I would much rather read about the parts that lead up to the sex,how did they start to like eachother, did he go after her? Ext Ext. Rather then the end part, I really dont see any point in writing it, if its not going to have any thought put into it.

Hottness. Short but it was perfect. And there isn't enough love for this pairing, but I love them! Sakuras forgiving enough to calm Gaara eventually. So they make a excellent pair. To me anyway. ^^

I think you should do a Itachi and Sakura. Like how you did this sexy one here. Short but perfect. ^^ Leafygirl on fanfiction.net totally made me a lover of this pairing. XD

I happen to like Gaara and Sakura too. Who else but Sakura could be strong enough to handle Gaara, yet forgive him his issues. HEHE! I like the heat you bring to the PWP, but I wish there was a little more back ground information. Why, How, and other such information. I don't know if it is the site or just your writing style, but writing in blocks make it hard on the reader to keep track of the lines. If you could break them up into smaller Pharagraphs it would be eaiser to read. Keep writing what comes to mind joke or not, what ever works ;)

Considering the scope of the challenge, it was rather well done and the scene played out beautifully. Good grip on atmosphere and wordplay, and it's testament to your skilful writing ability that the 3 sentences didn't feel anything like the usual agony of run-on sentences. It also has the capability to provoke interest (fleeting or longlasting depending on the individual) in a pairing that a reader might normally be neutral towards, so-> *2 thumbs up*

Just 1 or 2 bits that could be improved (It's a matter of opinion, feel free to disagree), for reading those parts made me have to double-back to get the gist.

'So the next time she moved, so did he, '---'Hence' could be used in place of the first 'so'. It was a bit confusing continuation-wise in leading on to the 2nd sentence, as to why Gaara responded in the way he did.

'her strangled, delighted gasp egging him on so he pulled back only to let her drop on him till he bottomed out'--- Interpretation was somewhat hazy as to whether it was a reason for his pulling back or just the sole action carried out (I'm not quite sure how to phrase this bit). The main confusion stemmed from the word 'only' and possibly lack of commas before or after it. I'd suggest omitting 'only'; it still retains the meaning of what you were probably trying to say (but if you intended to leave the interpretation deliberately vague, then ignore).

Otherwise, he was dying-- and she was dying-- succinctly poetic and a great ending.

Well, the only big problem I see in this fic is the fact that it's only three sentences. Three run-on sentences.

never seen this couple before. I like seeing uncommon couples, so cookies for you! maybe you could lengthen it a bit, cause it seemed really short, even for a one-shot