rate_review Reviews

update soon! Please!

thankz a bunch for reviewing!

were is the update? :X

LOVE!!!!!!! hehehe an evil sasuke who lusts over naruto is just what i need!!!! now some smut and some naruto struggling and some sasuke jealousy would be PERFECT!!!!! hope you update soon!!!!

kakoi....cool...i like the story...
nee, sasuke in here is a very possesif person..quite egoist nee...
but i like it... poor naru ^^;;

This fic is really good! Love, for it! I love PshycoSasuke. And you have made him so psycho, heart you for it!
I'm waiting for your update! One of my favorite stories

Ha! Your story's very good! I so love this last chapter! It's my favorite kind of SasuNaru relationship! It could be cool if they finish by falling in love with each other. But for now, I can wait to read the next chapter! Good luck!!

so? so? so? this is real HOT!!! updates are imperative!!!

this isn't a flame ^___^ hmm... let's see... it's SasuNaru, so there's one point there... it has a great plot, many possibilities of development: another point... it isn't a fanfic that's really great, but it's not bad either. I'll just give you my comments/rants:

1. You use the exclamation mark too much =P I dunno, but it doesn't to suit the characters --most especially Sasuke and Neji-- to be speaking with too much enthusiasm. Even the exclamation points in Naruto's dialogue is too much...
2. Itachi is DEAD?!!! *faints* I think it'd be Orochimaru or Sasuke who killed him... I just know it...
3. That's an evil cliffhanger... though I'm rooting for smut/yaoi, but I wouldn't want Sasuke to rape Naruto [sex in the car, kinky ^^;;] Though if Sasuke is the evil, sexy bastard that you made up in this fic, I wouldn't be surprised if that really happens... *Inner SD-chan cheers*
4. You should try polishing your formatting: paragraph spacing, proper punctuations [when to use '...'] those kinds of things... Also, it'd be better if you put a 'guide' to your formats.. I've had a hard time [at first] deciphering the phone call between Iruka and Naruto...
5. There's *too* much dialogue. I've noticed that especially during the scenes between Neji and Naruto, Naruto and the officer and Tsunade and Jiraiya. I know that you may be doing it for some reason [like hiding how they flinch/act at certain things.. ^^;;] but the chapter looks.. bland and too plain, if you don't include a healthy amount of descriptive, narrative sentences :D
6. Neji is OOC. Really. He is too noisy [sorry Neji..] and he is too... uhh... un-Neji O___o And I do NOT like NejiNaru. -____-;; it's too messy, with him hanging around Naruto too much... I vote for Sasuke XD
7. I love how you portray Naruto's spirit... and I'm curious as to what Tsunade and Jiraiya were talking about.. though Naruto seems too stupid/loud/rebellious in this fanfic... I mean, he should know some manners, right? ^^;;
8. Kakashi is too submissive.... T__T Though he's the only candidate in tolerating being bullied around by Sasuke.. still..
9. There are grammar errors, word-usage errors [try looking up the common mistakes in using words], errors in verb tense... yeah.. however, there aren't much of these types of mistakes, so they're just for further improvement :D

Anyhow, good luck on continuing with this fanfic, and I hope that my rather long review could help you in writing!! :D I'll be waiting for your next chapter!!! [translates to: me wants MORE SasuNaru action!!!] Yeah, it could also translate to: have some SasuNaru YAOI soon!!!! ^_____^

*huggles*

>>Seto's Darkness<<

Oh, if you want, I could be your beta :D My email address is above *points*

>>SD<<