rate_review Reviews

Cool story. I like unusual pairings. This chap is better than the previous one. And I think it will get even better in future. Good work and keep thwm coming!

DM

Sorry to double post, but u know what, I also an interested in Naruto/Sakura's-mom pairing like the guy who reviewed before me, said.
That would be shoker to sakura :):) Infact it would be pretty challenging to write it. I think you should go for it.

Thanks
~DM

hn, I like it... I thought the ank one was pretty good (despite veryone else's bitching) and I can hoenstly say that you've improved a lot. Man, that was some NICE smut!!! I like it... a lot. I can't wait to see the YukieNst guess thta once he got some he never wanted the supply to stop... ha ha ha, oh well, secretly, I've been hoping to see one with Sakura's mom and NAruto. I can just imagine how Sakura would take that one when she found out! Ha h ha hah I mean, really...

Not bad... its quite funny actually. The sex scene's decent or maybe i just want more details heh... this is n-17 so you don't have to hold back lol. Yeah please turn this into a series. All the females you listed are good... did you forgot Tenten or she isn't your type? Maybe you could also add the princess from naruto movie 1.

ok story, I liked the concept and the development but the pace felt too fast. Next time trying slowing down a little and fleshing out mroe of the details.

it was good i'd lihe it if u continued the storie.

Despite what Takerial said, you have two things goin' for you. One, it's not yaoi, which is 9/10's of the populace here. And two, it's unique pairings, not the usual Naru/Saku or Naru/Hina. I'm not saying he didn't hit some crucial points or 'doubting his reviews', but he didn't have to be such a communist about it. It's one thing to be constructive and/or blunt, but attempting to discourage people who are actually moderate isn't required, man. And what in the fucking world were you thinking when you typed 'practice more, then ask my permission if you ever want to post something', Tak? I don't know what your ideals are, but since when were you assigned dictator of AFF? I've seen alot worse stories receive less harsh putdowns.

*Ahem* Anyway, as Tak said, you are lacking in some departments. But, I also agree with Dante that practicing like this and continuing writing will improve your skills. And, just for future reference, it would be a good idea to get ahold of some type of spellchecking program or Microsoft Word. You did a decent job on this; it could've been better, but it also could've been alot worse.

Aside from the fact of him being a complete asshole, you really should go over a few of Tak's points and start from there. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not degrading your work, merely lending you a helping hand for your future stories. I would like to see you continue on with these and better your workings. Later.

P.S. - My vote's for a Naruto/Tayuya (I agree with her having a softer side, but that would have to be a long one-shot or actual story for character developement to work that in.) or Naruto/Kin if you keep going. ^^

wicked keep it up

wow, I loved that fic. Seriosuly, REALLY kinky but I can see it happening the way it did...so that's how they got married eh? ha ha ha, funny stuff. nice smut too. I'd love to see a series of NAru/? pairings...Seriously, please do.

YOU MUST CONTINEU STORIES LIKE DIS PLZ I BEG OF YOU >< also itd be good if you paired naruto with the women you listed and no Haku dont count man i dont like yaoi at all