schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
you have the style and the idea, but it's really lacking depth
i mean naruto looked at the forehead protector, knowing she's an ennemy and let her come to him and rub against him ?
and then during all the girl's contest, naruto didn't make a sound when the girls disrobed, they orders him around and he is still silent (naruto ? the rebeliousness incarnate ?) and then they just have their way like naruto is just some fuck-toy
earlier chapters were good because you tried to put feelings and genuine character interaction, now it just seem to be lust : one or several girls lust after naruto, they get their hand on him, him being completely oblivious to what's happenning and for the first time in his life being silent and not complaining, and the girl(s) strip him and herselves then have their merry way with the fox-boy who is still silent and not reacting in any way, save his reproductive organs.
the sex scenes are good in themselves though they would benefit of more details, especially when describing physical interaction, or even description (like now with naruto, kurenai and yugito check his abs and tights, though there's also the legs, waist, chest, shoulders, arms and forearms)
well for the next chapie, female!itachi from a parallel universe ? that seems promising, though i hope you'll have some psychological talks before jumping on the fucking... maybe having naruto's itachi (aka sasuke's brother) stumbling on naruto and his female clone at some point or another XD
i mean naruto looked at the forehead protector, knowing she's an ennemy and let her come to him and rub against him ?
and then during all the girl's contest, naruto didn't make a sound when the girls disrobed, they orders him around and he is still silent (naruto ? the rebeliousness incarnate ?) and then they just have their way like naruto is just some fuck-toy
earlier chapters were good because you tried to put feelings and genuine character interaction, now it just seem to be lust : one or several girls lust after naruto, they get their hand on him, him being completely oblivious to what's happenning and for the first time in his life being silent and not complaining, and the girl(s) strip him and herselves then have their merry way with the fox-boy who is still silent and not reacting in any way, save his reproductive organs.
the sex scenes are good in themselves though they would benefit of more details, especially when describing physical interaction, or even description (like now with naruto, kurenai and yugito check his abs and tights, though there's also the legs, waist, chest, shoulders, arms and forearms)
well for the next chapie, female!itachi from a parallel universe ? that seems promising, though i hope you'll have some psychological talks before jumping on the fucking... maybe having naruto's itachi (aka sasuke's brother) stumbling on naruto and his female clone at some point or another XD
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love your paring storys so far. I expecialy like how youve only done older wonem parigs with naruto so i cant wait to see whos next. the one thing ive noticed is i think you have something against hinata since in the fics where she finds out she cant have her shes crushed and i believe in one of your pics you made her into a sex toy, well fem kubbi did but still lol. are you planning on doing any stories with the younger gen stories besides Haku and Hanabi, why not a Moegi story?. or how about a kin only story?. also how about a naruto / Suzume fic shes the kounchi teacher at the ninja academy? or a Deidara fic since at least to me that character seams like a girl? But anyways keep the stories coming. Ja ne!
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great work, keep it up.
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Much better.
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
once more you prove that you are the gratest
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i hope for a narutotenten or a narutoino or a tentennarutoino
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter i loved it and please make the next chapter a Naruto x Tenten please well update soon please
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July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wonderful. the witty ending was a nice touch. nice work. keep it up
schedule
July 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
writing has improved alot i put my vote for tenten
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July 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good work, it seems you just keep on getting better everytime. I like the idea of tenten, i have some ideas,
how about Fem Deidara, Yoshino Nara, Tsume Inuzuka, and some of the other female characters naruto has
meet in his travels and the filler arcs, keep up the good work.
how about Fem Deidara, Yoshino Nara, Tsume Inuzuka, and some of the other female characters naruto has
meet in his travels and the filler arcs, keep up the good work.