rate_review Reviews

I LOVE IT! PLEASE WRITE MORE OF THESE KIND OF STORIES!

*giggle* hot, romantic and also funny ^^ I love it

GAAAH that was great I love you Kakashi!!! *squeal* awsome job <3

eh?

what was all the seme-uke stuff about?
yes, I've heard about yaoi and stuff, but do you really think two gay men would keep their role in bed?
what I hate about this is that naruto gets to be the weepy uke again.

so my point is, the concept is ignorant and overdone, even for a pwp...
which is probarly also the reason I disliked below zero...

please try to make the boys act like boys, instead of girls with penises, because guys think very differently from women...

what to say? kakashi's a [ervert and that was hot!

That was quite cute. I enjoyed reading it!!! A few grammer issues, but they were very minor. Just read over your story more than once. Nice job.

It started out fairly well, and the idea of the boys sparring in water was hot, but it got weird towards the middle. It's hard to imagine Naruto just telling Sasuke that he's "uke." I mean, Naruto IS outspoken but... yeah. I guess it was just kind of abrupt. What would have been interesting is if you had gone into more detail describing the sparring in the water: feelings, quick touches and their affect on both boys, etc., and then found a more plausible way for the two to get together. Yes, Naruto seeing Sasuke watching what Kakashi sent him was a good opportunity, but I think that the dialogue that led up to it could have been better.

Anyway, this is just constructive criticism. Overall, I loved the premise of your story, and the title really drew me in. You might want to capitalize it completely, though, since it IS the title. Good attempt, I'll be sure to check out anything else you write.

pretty good- the sex was hot and kakashi was delightfully sinful. was he watching the whole time? or just listening...? hehe. my only complaint was that sasuke was a little mushy at parts, but that's all personal preference. i like it when he's dark and brooding~