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January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Lol, I like your disclaimer. XD (I own his necklace myself, lol.)
You phrase your summaries really well.
Chapter 1: “Kakashi made a point out of making the last bash the biggest one.” That’s nice of him. I’m not sure if it’s totally in-character, but it could be. =) Lol, Sasuke being declared a rogue for not attending the party. Surely it wouldn’t be that bad a penalty. ____ “if one could ever call Kakashi a chaperone with a straight face” yeah, he’d probably just sit aside and read his book. ____ Heh—Sasuke switched into first-person: “---and no, I am not jealous. I am simply making observations.” ____ Sasuke must be in serious denial if he thinks he doesn’t like alcohol and he drinks it anyway. ____ “Naruto was so incredibly blitzed …” That’s saying something. I imagine that he’s one who can hold his liquor, so that makes it even funnier. ____ “THE PLAN” Hehehehe. ____ “So I wait for now… and when the party’s over…” If The Plan is to lay Naruto, he might have to make his move sooner, otherwise Gaara could get there first. ____ I wouldn’t be surprised if Kakashi knew that Sasuke was up to something despite Sasuke’s acting. (Actually, if I were Kakashi, I’d say Sasuke was up to something.) ____ “What’sher name, misshy?” lol. Naruto sounds like a perverted old man. Must be something he heard Jiraiya say a lot. ____ Ahh, “Satori-chan.” Haven’t heard that one before. It sounds a little masculine to me, but who cares. ____ “Naruto had used Sexy-no-jutsu, but Sasuke had had only to brush out his hair and apply a little makeup. Sometimes, genetics could be perfectly unfair.” Heh—he’d complain if he’d had to use Oiroke as well. He’s hard to please. ____ “Bimbotastic,” lol. (I’m loling a lot, aren’t I; sorry about that. ^^;) I like the details about how little the Oiroke alters him. Probably because he’s slightly androgynous.
Sasuke’s a total workaholic, isn’t he. I like this whole bit about “training missions” being a cover. =) ____ “Sasuke usually had nothing to hide, nothing that the ever-present paparazzi of teenage girls didn’t know about him.” Interesting way of wording it. I wonder if it’s something he rues. ____ “Umichi”—cute family name. ____ “And that took him to the morning The Plan failed him.” Hmm … so what was The Plan, and how did it fail? It sounds like it was Sasuke’s intention to get pregnant. ____ It’s kind of funny how calmly Sasuke is taking it all, even if he was resigned to doing it. ____ “Well, because I got your dimwitted father smashed so that he’d sleep with me, because I am the last Uchiha and I have something of an image to keep up---and thanks to you, kid, my image is going to become increasingly bloated---and because I am inherently male, and should therefore not be pregnant to begin with. But I used a variation of Naruto’s ridiculous prank-jutsu so that I could conceive an Uchiha child.” This whole paragraph is really funny. I like it. ^^ ____ I like how the story still refers to Sasuke as “him” even when he’s in female form. ____ Oh… he’s not in female form. That must be weird, carrying a child as a guy. I guess it does take concentration to hold it—it’s not like an easy sex-change. And I like the whole paragraph that describes details about it, and how much of it he uses for pregnancy. Heh—it makes me curious about when he learned it, and if Naruto knows, and if Naruto’s seen him like that, and so on. ____ “Two and a half pairs of eyes—two green, two blue, and one deep gray.” XD ____ Lol, Sakura’s jealous. Isn’t she disturbed at all that Sasuke—the guy she’s been in love with—is pregnant? ____ Actually, it makes sense that Naruto wouldn’t immediately assume Sasuke’s pregnant. I mean, sure he’s a girl right now, but—he’s a guy. He’s Sasuke. And if anything, Sasuke should be the one knocking up someone else—someone who’s naturally a girl. It would be kind of hard to get one’s brain around. ____ “You sit around and get fat?” XDD ____ ‘“I’m not fat, shit-for-brains,” Sasuek said in a tired monotone, his eyes half-closed.’ Good imagery. ____ “And you say I’m in denial!” LOL! XD ____ I like Sakura’s quick thinking. And I like how part of her is pissed at Sasuke: “How could you be so stubborn?” ____ “Sakura, it’s not like that—” Actually, Sasuke, I think it’s exactly like that. You don’t trust a girl to carry it. ____ Kakashi’s reaction’s really interesting. ____ You know, this is turning out better than I thought it would, so far. I like the dramatic, slightly-grim mood, but it’s not totally angsty. Or shallow. I mean, I can nearly take it seriously.
This is an interesting contradiction: [Sasuke]’d lost some weight if his bony shoulders were any clear indication, but there was the whole matter of the bulging belly straining against the waistband of his sweats.” And then, “Sasuke had to be sick to have accumulated that much weight in one spot in such a short time period; he’d probably left the village because he knew he was falling ill, and he didn’t want to lose face as an Uchiha because of his weakness.” He’s actually very close to the truth. ____ (*snicker*) “I thought even you would have realized that by now, dobe, but I suppose I’ve just misjudged your intelligence once again. Sorry for my mistake.” ____ Lol, there’s the answer to my question: Naruto did not know, and now he’s freaked out. (I wonder if he knew it could do that.) ____ This dialogue is hilarious. XD ____ “This has nothing to do with team seven, Konoha, and especially not you!” Liar. ____ Good place to leave off with.
Lol, I like your disclaimer. XD (I own his necklace myself, lol.)
You phrase your summaries really well.
Chapter 1: “Kakashi made a point out of making the last bash the biggest one.” That’s nice of him. I’m not sure if it’s totally in-character, but it could be. =) Lol, Sasuke being declared a rogue for not attending the party. Surely it wouldn’t be that bad a penalty. ____ “if one could ever call Kakashi a chaperone with a straight face” yeah, he’d probably just sit aside and read his book. ____ Heh—Sasuke switched into first-person: “---and no, I am not jealous. I am simply making observations.” ____ Sasuke must be in serious denial if he thinks he doesn’t like alcohol and he drinks it anyway. ____ “Naruto was so incredibly blitzed …” That’s saying something. I imagine that he’s one who can hold his liquor, so that makes it even funnier. ____ “THE PLAN” Hehehehe. ____ “So I wait for now… and when the party’s over…” If The Plan is to lay Naruto, he might have to make his move sooner, otherwise Gaara could get there first. ____ I wouldn’t be surprised if Kakashi knew that Sasuke was up to something despite Sasuke’s acting. (Actually, if I were Kakashi, I’d say Sasuke was up to something.) ____ “What’sher name, misshy?” lol. Naruto sounds like a perverted old man. Must be something he heard Jiraiya say a lot. ____ Ahh, “Satori-chan.” Haven’t heard that one before. It sounds a little masculine to me, but who cares. ____ “Naruto had used Sexy-no-jutsu, but Sasuke had had only to brush out his hair and apply a little makeup. Sometimes, genetics could be perfectly unfair.” Heh—he’d complain if he’d had to use Oiroke as well. He’s hard to please. ____ “Bimbotastic,” lol. (I’m loling a lot, aren’t I; sorry about that. ^^;) I like the details about how little the Oiroke alters him. Probably because he’s slightly androgynous.
Sasuke’s a total workaholic, isn’t he. I like this whole bit about “training missions” being a cover. =) ____ “Sasuke usually had nothing to hide, nothing that the ever-present paparazzi of teenage girls didn’t know about him.” Interesting way of wording it. I wonder if it’s something he rues. ____ “Umichi”—cute family name. ____ “And that took him to the morning The Plan failed him.” Hmm … so what was The Plan, and how did it fail? It sounds like it was Sasuke’s intention to get pregnant. ____ It’s kind of funny how calmly Sasuke is taking it all, even if he was resigned to doing it. ____ “Well, because I got your dimwitted father smashed so that he’d sleep with me, because I am the last Uchiha and I have something of an image to keep up---and thanks to you, kid, my image is going to become increasingly bloated---and because I am inherently male, and should therefore not be pregnant to begin with. But I used a variation of Naruto’s ridiculous prank-jutsu so that I could conceive an Uchiha child.” This whole paragraph is really funny. I like it. ^^ ____ I like how the story still refers to Sasuke as “him” even when he’s in female form. ____ Oh… he’s not in female form. That must be weird, carrying a child as a guy. I guess it does take concentration to hold it—it’s not like an easy sex-change. And I like the whole paragraph that describes details about it, and how much of it he uses for pregnancy. Heh—it makes me curious about when he learned it, and if Naruto knows, and if Naruto’s seen him like that, and so on. ____ “Two and a half pairs of eyes—two green, two blue, and one deep gray.” XD ____ Lol, Sakura’s jealous. Isn’t she disturbed at all that Sasuke—the guy she’s been in love with—is pregnant? ____ Actually, it makes sense that Naruto wouldn’t immediately assume Sasuke’s pregnant. I mean, sure he’s a girl right now, but—he’s a guy. He’s Sasuke. And if anything, Sasuke should be the one knocking up someone else—someone who’s naturally a girl. It would be kind of hard to get one’s brain around. ____ “You sit around and get fat?” XDD ____ ‘“I’m not fat, shit-for-brains,” Sasuek said in a tired monotone, his eyes half-closed.’ Good imagery. ____ “And you say I’m in denial!” LOL! XD ____ I like Sakura’s quick thinking. And I like how part of her is pissed at Sasuke: “How could you be so stubborn?” ____ “Sakura, it’s not like that—” Actually, Sasuke, I think it’s exactly like that. You don’t trust a girl to carry it. ____ Kakashi’s reaction’s really interesting. ____ You know, this is turning out better than I thought it would, so far. I like the dramatic, slightly-grim mood, but it’s not totally angsty. Or shallow. I mean, I can nearly take it seriously.
This is an interesting contradiction: [Sasuke]’d lost some weight if his bony shoulders were any clear indication, but there was the whole matter of the bulging belly straining against the waistband of his sweats.” And then, “Sasuke had to be sick to have accumulated that much weight in one spot in such a short time period; he’d probably left the village because he knew he was falling ill, and he didn’t want to lose face as an Uchiha because of his weakness.” He’s actually very close to the truth. ____ (*snicker*) “I thought even you would have realized that by now, dobe, but I suppose I’ve just misjudged your intelligence once again. Sorry for my mistake.” ____ Lol, there’s the answer to my question: Naruto did not know, and now he’s freaked out. (I wonder if he knew it could do that.) ____ This dialogue is hilarious. XD ____ “This has nothing to do with team seven, Konoha, and especially not you!” Liar. ____ Good place to leave off with.
schedule
January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Lol, I like your disclaimer again. Is there going to be a different one for every chapter?
Chapter 2: I like the descriptions of the worst days of Sasuke’s life. ____ Lol, “The Day The Uchiha Clan Went Kaput.” XD ____ Huh. So Hinata got pregnant. By who, I wonder. ____ That’s gotta be bizarre, to be examining a pregnant male. ____ Lol. “Good news… You’re pregnant.” “Really?” Cute. They’re both playing a little. ^^ ____ “Mellower. Not as likely to gnaw off someone’s arm at any given moment.” She’s right. I thought he seemed calmer. ____ “He supposed that it was something like how a girl had to get used to guys speaking directly to her breasts instead of her face.” XD ____ “I think I’m safe as far as cravings go.” You say that now.
And the cravings are beginning to show themselves, I take it. ____ “Naruto infected things.” I like Sasuke’s glass-half-empty take on it. ____ Oh dear, morning sickness.
I figured that this was when Naruto would wake up. ____ Interesting line: “Well, that was something, wasn’t it? Uchiha Sasuke had fallen so far as to not care that Naruto was watching something so grossly personal as him throwing up.” ____ Lol, “Chubbs.” XD ____ “Being as traceless as possible was beneficial, but he was on holiday. He could smell like a fruit if he damned well felt like it.” XD ____ So what does Sasuke think about the Lightning element? ____ So that’s who got Hinata knocked up. And as for Neji’s bloodline making an interesting match with Sasuke’s, that’s debatable. It could screw things up instead. ____ Lol, “To her highness Ino herself.” ^^ ____ “A kiss here, a poke there, and he’d only just been able to hop a ride before the train blew its whistle.” XDDD Good way of putting it. ____ “He’d left out a piping hot cup ramen with a note that read I AM GOD---EAT ME AND YOU’LL FEEL BETTER attached to it.” XDD (!!) I’ll betcha that ramen’ll be a craving!
Chapter 2: I like the descriptions of the worst days of Sasuke’s life. ____ Lol, “The Day The Uchiha Clan Went Kaput.” XD ____ Huh. So Hinata got pregnant. By who, I wonder. ____ That’s gotta be bizarre, to be examining a pregnant male. ____ Lol. “Good news… You’re pregnant.” “Really?” Cute. They’re both playing a little. ^^ ____ “Mellower. Not as likely to gnaw off someone’s arm at any given moment.” She’s right. I thought he seemed calmer. ____ “He supposed that it was something like how a girl had to get used to guys speaking directly to her breasts instead of her face.” XD ____ “I think I’m safe as far as cravings go.” You say that now.
And the cravings are beginning to show themselves, I take it. ____ “Naruto infected things.” I like Sasuke’s glass-half-empty take on it. ____ Oh dear, morning sickness.
I figured that this was when Naruto would wake up. ____ Interesting line: “Well, that was something, wasn’t it? Uchiha Sasuke had fallen so far as to not care that Naruto was watching something so grossly personal as him throwing up.” ____ Lol, “Chubbs.” XD ____ “Being as traceless as possible was beneficial, but he was on holiday. He could smell like a fruit if he damned well felt like it.” XD ____ So what does Sasuke think about the Lightning element? ____ So that’s who got Hinata knocked up. And as for Neji’s bloodline making an interesting match with Sasuke’s, that’s debatable. It could screw things up instead. ____ Lol, “To her highness Ino herself.” ^^ ____ “A kiss here, a poke there, and he’d only just been able to hop a ride before the train blew its whistle.” XDDD Good way of putting it. ____ “He’d left out a piping hot cup ramen with a note that read I AM GOD---EAT ME AND YOU’LL FEEL BETTER attached to it.” XDD (!!) I’ll betcha that ramen’ll be a craving!
schedule
January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3: It’s funny how specifically Sasuke labels his days. ^^ ____ That’s sweet, how Sasuke really liked spending the night with Naruto. It kind of shows that there’s more there than simply getting the guy’s sperm. ____ “Who was he, that…” He’s thinking that a lot. Sounds like humility. But I like how you took Naruto’s Seal into account and how it’s uncertain of its effects on fertility.
Heh—I like the bit about Sasuke’s made up story about Umichi Satori. ____ Hahahaha! “And you should know a thing or two about makeup, too---a ninja ought to be prepared for anything, even living as the opposite sex.” I wonder how long it took Sasuke to actually force himself to play with makeup. ^^ ____ “This is the springtime of our lives, and we should---” Naruto’s been spending way too much time around Gai and Lee, it sounds like. ____ If people see Naruto with “Satori,” I wonder if they’ll draw the right conclusion that he’s the one who got Satori pregnant.
“And if he had made jounin, he wouldn’t have gotten himself pregnant …” How does Naruto draw that conclusion? ____ “He knew that the baby was his fault in more ways than one, and he was willing to take responsibility for his mistakes.” Really…. So he knows that it’s his? ____ “Because it was physically impossible for Uzumaki Naruto to get drunk.” Uh-oh. So he really does know the truth. No wonder Naruto’s so obsessed with taking care of Sasuke. ____ Lol: “NO HE’S NOT! HE’S LEAVING BECAUSE UNPROTECTED SEX BUSTED HIM AND HE’S NO LONGER FIT AS A NINJA! ARGH!” XD ____ (*snicker*) I also like Naruto’s immediate mental thoughts about Sasuke’s pregnancy. ____ Heh—cute. Naruto likes the idea of being a father. Once he got used to the idea, of course.
Heh—I like the bit about Sasuke’s made up story about Umichi Satori. ____ Hahahaha! “And you should know a thing or two about makeup, too---a ninja ought to be prepared for anything, even living as the opposite sex.” I wonder how long it took Sasuke to actually force himself to play with makeup. ^^ ____ “This is the springtime of our lives, and we should---” Naruto’s been spending way too much time around Gai and Lee, it sounds like. ____ If people see Naruto with “Satori,” I wonder if they’ll draw the right conclusion that he’s the one who got Satori pregnant.
“And if he had made jounin, he wouldn’t have gotten himself pregnant …” How does Naruto draw that conclusion? ____ “He knew that the baby was his fault in more ways than one, and he was willing to take responsibility for his mistakes.” Really…. So he knows that it’s his? ____ “Because it was physically impossible for Uzumaki Naruto to get drunk.” Uh-oh. So he really does know the truth. No wonder Naruto’s so obsessed with taking care of Sasuke. ____ Lol: “NO HE’S NOT! HE’S LEAVING BECAUSE UNPROTECTED SEX BUSTED HIM AND HE’S NO LONGER FIT AS A NINJA! ARGH!” XD ____ (*snicker*) I also like Naruto’s immediate mental thoughts about Sasuke’s pregnancy. ____ Heh—cute. Naruto likes the idea of being a father. Once he got used to the idea, of course.
schedule
January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4: Ahahaha, I like the mention of the shuriken practice! XDD ____ (*snort*) “Jokingly, Sasuke suggested that he take up knitting, only to have the kyuubi-boy do just that.” I honestly wasn’t expecting that. XD ____ Heh—I knew he’d get a craving for ramen. ^^ ____ Yay, ice cream. ____ “Naruto’s normal eating habits mirrored that of a pregnant woman.” I wonder how Naruto’d react if someone told him that. In any universe, not necessarily this one. ____ “Because it would hurt. Sasuke just hadn’t realized how much.” Why Sasuke and not Naruto, I wonder?
Spoonfight, lol. I like that bit. ____ Awww, cute. ♥ ____ Actually, I don’t think Sasuke’s lashes are so long. Itachi’s stands out a mile away, lol. ____ Hehehe, “He was also trying very, very hard to convince Naruto to have intercourse with his new ‘mate’ as often as possible.” ____ “The one with the strange eyes and the unfortunate furry protuberances?” XD I liked the way he phrased that. ^^ ____ “I was a convenient lay.” That probably makes him a little sad. But I like Naruto’s perception of Sasuke’s intentions. ____ Well, it should be past three in the morning now. ____ Huh. I thought Sasuke just didn’t trust the other girls. ____ “So your Sharingan and Itachi’s Mangekyou-Sharingan came from your mom? That nice, pretty lady who gave up ninjutsu to be a housewife? The uber-scary-wheel-eyes came from her?” Lol. ^^ ____ “Sharingan used to be considered a woman’s technique---who but a mother could know so much just from looking at someone? It’s only in the last few generations since the police squad started up that Sharingan was considered to be so masculine.” Interesting. ____ “…heh, yeah. With the help of my technique, and perhaps the help of some of my better body parts as well, eh, Satori-chan?” Hehehehe. >D ____ So Sasuke’s realizing that he’s got more feelings for Naruto than just as the sperm-doner.
Ohhhhhhhh …… SHIT. Her tongue’s loose. >.< ____ Waitaminute … “tall, dark, and handsome man” … IS IT ITACHI??? O.O ____ I hope it’s Itachi … ____ OH HELL YEAH!!! (*pumps fist in the air*) THANK YOU! ♥♥♥ (Actually, I think it would’ve been better if he’d kept quiet about it….)
Spoonfight, lol. I like that bit. ____ Awww, cute. ♥ ____ Actually, I don’t think Sasuke’s lashes are so long. Itachi’s stands out a mile away, lol. ____ Hehehe, “He was also trying very, very hard to convince Naruto to have intercourse with his new ‘mate’ as often as possible.” ____ “The one with the strange eyes and the unfortunate furry protuberances?” XD I liked the way he phrased that. ^^ ____ “I was a convenient lay.” That probably makes him a little sad. But I like Naruto’s perception of Sasuke’s intentions. ____ Well, it should be past three in the morning now. ____ Huh. I thought Sasuke just didn’t trust the other girls. ____ “So your Sharingan and Itachi’s Mangekyou-Sharingan came from your mom? That nice, pretty lady who gave up ninjutsu to be a housewife? The uber-scary-wheel-eyes came from her?” Lol. ^^ ____ “Sharingan used to be considered a woman’s technique---who but a mother could know so much just from looking at someone? It’s only in the last few generations since the police squad started up that Sharingan was considered to be so masculine.” Interesting. ____ “…heh, yeah. With the help of my technique, and perhaps the help of some of my better body parts as well, eh, Satori-chan?” Hehehehe. >D ____ So Sasuke’s realizing that he’s got more feelings for Naruto than just as the sperm-doner.
Ohhhhhhhh …… SHIT. Her tongue’s loose. >.< ____ Waitaminute … “tall, dark, and handsome man” … IS IT ITACHI??? O.O ____ I hope it’s Itachi … ____ OH HELL YEAH!!! (*pumps fist in the air*) THANK YOU! ♥♥♥ (Actually, I think it would’ve been better if he’d kept quiet about it….)
schedule
January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
YES! But OMGITACHI! =D
Chapter 5: Nice opening paragraph for this chapter. ____ I like it how Aido had a bit of a ninja background. And I like how she recognized him. Of course, with the Uchiha summer home nearby, everyone there might know what he looks like, ninja or not…. Well, maybe not. ____ (*snicker*) “… and why the hell is he looking through the cooking books?!” XDD Like, dude, he’s human! Maybe he’d rather eat his own stuff than his partner’s! XD Nah, actually, I think he might be thinking of poison or something. Or, who knows? Maybe just sending his congrats? X3 Anyways, lol, “Maybe he’s a cannibal. I wouldn’t put it past him.” Like he ate his family. XD (“Mmm, Uchiha fetus—my favorite.”*Garmiet is shot for terrible taste*) ____ “trying not to throw the card that she was a former chuunin, and that she had five shuriken …” I’m pretty sure Itachi already knows. Or suspects. He probably suspects everybody. It’s why he’s got his Sharingan on all the time. ____ So she knew “Satori” was Sasuke all along? I wonder who’s her cousin. ____ “Taking on Uchiha Itachi alone was more than suicide, it was drinking poison, slitting her own wrists, lighting herself on fire, and jumping off a cliff.” Those all sound like suicide to me. A very-sure-chance-of-being-successful suicide. ____ XD I feel stupid; I wasn’t expecting Itachi to be looking for that. ____ “Yours is the only bookstore that carries it.” BULLSHIT. (Sorry. I just highly doubt that.) ____ Hard to picture Kakashi scaring away customers. Itachi makes sense, though. Heh—I like the title of this one, though: “Icha Icha Piracy.” ^^ ____ Nice touch: “Take a deep breath and finish the word.” And then she calls him “Uchiha-san.” No point in hiding it now; he knows she’s terrified and he knows why. ____ “Can’t lie to Sharingan. Can’t lie to Sharingan. Can’t…” I like that. ____ Hmm … true, omitting is not exactly the same as lying … but the Sharingan might pick up on the fact that she’s hiding something. Or not being entirely truthful. True, she’s seen “Umichi Satori,” but she knows that that’s Sasuke. So she has contacted Sasuke (through “extension,” maybe, but still). ____ Oh COOL! Her cousin’s Iruka! =D ____ Hell, it’s at the Uchiha summer home. He might just check there first.
The thing about the chakra-sensing … I’m not sure Naruto is the sensor-type, Kyuubi or not. I think that’s kind of a rare thing. Some ninjas might locate others through other means, or possibly through different aspects of chakra, but I’m not sure if it’s a huge general thing. ____ I doubt it’s anything as drastic as the conclusions Naruto’s jumping to, but you never know. Itachi is in the area. ____ “He’d probably planned it, the bastard.” Probably. XD I like that image, by the way, of Sasuke sleeping in the tree. ____ Cute, Kyuubi begging. XD ____ “You have to stop being all Mr. Cool and start being Mr. Mom.” XD ____ “Sasuke was a master of wordless communication.” ♥ ____ I like the way Naruto translates Sasuke’s body language. ____ I know I asked for it, but I find the visual image in M-Preg disturbing. It’s for the other stuff that I read it, though, and I like the paragraph about how deadly Sasuke is, even while pregnant. ____ Hahaah! Sasuke wants to pick on Naruto! XDD ____ Ooh, “flexible.” ♥ ____ “Kunai mail.” Cool. =) ____ “He’s got a breaking point, remember? Six years was his breaking point when it came to keeping his hands off you, so I’d give him six minutes on a smaller subject.” XD I like the way that’s put. ____ Ahahahha, I like Kyuubi’s suggestion for the note! Some of the stuff would get Sasuke out of the tree pretty damn quick, and some of them would make him delay longer. XD ____ (*snicker*) Flaming kunai. That’s the response. XDD I wonder if Sasuke likes the kunai mail any more than just verbal conversation. He could probably have fun with driving Naruto crazy with it. ____ Nice bit of dry, dark humor at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 5: Nice opening paragraph for this chapter. ____ I like it how Aido had a bit of a ninja background. And I like how she recognized him. Of course, with the Uchiha summer home nearby, everyone there might know what he looks like, ninja or not…. Well, maybe not. ____ (*snicker*) “… and why the hell is he looking through the cooking books?!” XDD Like, dude, he’s human! Maybe he’d rather eat his own stuff than his partner’s! XD Nah, actually, I think he might be thinking of poison or something. Or, who knows? Maybe just sending his congrats? X3 Anyways, lol, “Maybe he’s a cannibal. I wouldn’t put it past him.” Like he ate his family. XD (“Mmm, Uchiha fetus—my favorite.”*Garmiet is shot for terrible taste*) ____ “trying not to throw the card that she was a former chuunin, and that she had five shuriken …” I’m pretty sure Itachi already knows. Or suspects. He probably suspects everybody. It’s why he’s got his Sharingan on all the time. ____ So she knew “Satori” was Sasuke all along? I wonder who’s her cousin. ____ “Taking on Uchiha Itachi alone was more than suicide, it was drinking poison, slitting her own wrists, lighting herself on fire, and jumping off a cliff.” Those all sound like suicide to me. A very-sure-chance-of-being-successful suicide. ____ XD I feel stupid; I wasn’t expecting Itachi to be looking for that. ____ “Yours is the only bookstore that carries it.” BULLSHIT. (Sorry. I just highly doubt that.) ____ Hard to picture Kakashi scaring away customers. Itachi makes sense, though. Heh—I like the title of this one, though: “Icha Icha Piracy.” ^^ ____ Nice touch: “Take a deep breath and finish the word.” And then she calls him “Uchiha-san.” No point in hiding it now; he knows she’s terrified and he knows why. ____ “Can’t lie to Sharingan. Can’t lie to Sharingan. Can’t…” I like that. ____ Hmm … true, omitting is not exactly the same as lying … but the Sharingan might pick up on the fact that she’s hiding something. Or not being entirely truthful. True, she’s seen “Umichi Satori,” but she knows that that’s Sasuke. So she has contacted Sasuke (through “extension,” maybe, but still). ____ Oh COOL! Her cousin’s Iruka! =D ____ Hell, it’s at the Uchiha summer home. He might just check there first.
The thing about the chakra-sensing … I’m not sure Naruto is the sensor-type, Kyuubi or not. I think that’s kind of a rare thing. Some ninjas might locate others through other means, or possibly through different aspects of chakra, but I’m not sure if it’s a huge general thing. ____ I doubt it’s anything as drastic as the conclusions Naruto’s jumping to, but you never know. Itachi is in the area. ____ “He’d probably planned it, the bastard.” Probably. XD I like that image, by the way, of Sasuke sleeping in the tree. ____ Cute, Kyuubi begging. XD ____ “You have to stop being all Mr. Cool and start being Mr. Mom.” XD ____ “Sasuke was a master of wordless communication.” ♥ ____ I like the way Naruto translates Sasuke’s body language. ____ I know I asked for it, but I find the visual image in M-Preg disturbing. It’s for the other stuff that I read it, though, and I like the paragraph about how deadly Sasuke is, even while pregnant. ____ Hahaah! Sasuke wants to pick on Naruto! XDD ____ Ooh, “flexible.” ♥ ____ “Kunai mail.” Cool. =) ____ “He’s got a breaking point, remember? Six years was his breaking point when it came to keeping his hands off you, so I’d give him six minutes on a smaller subject.” XD I like the way that’s put. ____ Ahahahha, I like Kyuubi’s suggestion for the note! Some of the stuff would get Sasuke out of the tree pretty damn quick, and some of them would make him delay longer. XD ____ (*snicker*) Flaming kunai. That’s the response. XDD I wonder if Sasuke likes the kunai mail any more than just verbal conversation. He could probably have fun with driving Naruto crazy with it. ____ Nice bit of dry, dark humor at the end of the chapter.
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February 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
nice
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September 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please email me when you update: narcoleptic86@gmail.com
Thank you! ^_^
Thank you! ^_^
schedule
March 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Allys said something about this story being discontinued.... Such a shame.... It was a good story
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February 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
For ur information, this has been one of the best stories I have ever read in my life (with sasuke being pregnet and all) and I hope u keep it up. And I understand u can't update quickly, no pressure although i'm here pondering when sasuke's gonna deliver. Well, wateva...I LUV THIS STORY THOUGH!!! And who knew men could get pregnet...hmmmm *thinks hard on the subject* makes u wonder doesn't it ^.^ 4-ever NaruSasu!!! KEEP IT UP!!
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February 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
love this story!!! keep up the good work!!!!!!!