rate_review Reviews

I am just saying, 'good for the goose....good for the gander'. It is unfair to get in Sasu's way, maybe he just wants to sample the linebackers as well! I personally was glad my first knew what he was doing, but if he had been wanting me to hold out while he was giving out free samples, mad I would be! I do realize the immense benefit of Naruto's vast experience though, hmmmm, Sasu is in for a treat! No stone throwing intended, just slightly unfair of Naru, in my opinion. Ready for more!

Naruto is such a slut! Man I agree with Gaara, Sasuke should be terribly upset when he finds out Naru has been so loose while keeping him away from others. Good chap.

....GAARA AND NARUTO FORNICATION!?!?



Hahahaha.... this was great!

Stupid people and their hater-ation voting!


Keep writing, and don't worry about them.

All that matters is that I'm the President of your fan club!

I'm wearing the pin right now! *_*

I wouldn't sweat the stars so much. If not many people have reviewed, than 1 low rating can change the whole thing. You did ask for criticism, so here goes: First off, your plot is fine. (I haven't read the other stories, so I get confused at times, but that's my problem...) Your plot is probably very good, but we're not very far into the story so I can't tell just yet. I have two complaints, the first is very easy to fix. The stories bounce around way too much. You don't have to touch on every character (or even very many characters) in each chapter. One or two paragraphs about each one per chappy makes it choppy and it gets confusing, and you never give yourself a chance to delve into the situations. It's fine to switch around a little, but I think you've over done it a bit. You might try focusing on one or two 'stories' per chapter. (and make your chapters a WHOLE lot longer) That way you can really get into their heads. Which brings me to criticism number 2, which might be rectified by fixing criticism number one. I feel like you're 'telling' the story, not letting it flow. It might help a lot if you dedicate more than a paragraph or two to a scene. It will force you to do something other than scratching the surface of what's there. For example, your the scene with the sand sibs is less than 3 pages long, yet you've got a REALLY interesting dynamic between the characters that you barely explored. I like that Gaara's into Sasuke and I love the little relationship Tema and Naruto have got going on. It's very naughty, and has a lot of potential to be a really great scene, (and develop into an even better plot) but you really just glossed over it. You don't need to cover a larger time frame, just expand within the constrains of the scene you've already got. Basically, I'd say you aren't doing your plot justice. It could be really really good. (really really long) but that's what you get for trying to write a soap opera! =) Anyway, no flaming intended, I mean no offence. I wouldn't bother to criticize if I thought it was hopeless. Good luck!

LMAO!!! thas the funniest author's notice i have ever seen, i like the story.

...And now my head is going to explode...!


Cool chpater...


Does Gaara know about Temari/Naruto?


And whoa whoa whoa... does Naruto know about Gaara's advances on Sasuke?! That was unexpected! Just wondering, b/c it' never mentioned by anyone in any of the other stories... that is... unless you're going to have them bring it up one night over dinner in a bar... drinks heavily involved of course. Which then proceeds to the two demon vessel to get into a huge argument, and then a physical fight for a bit until pregnant Chouji and Sasuke (not preggers, of course) jump in the middle, and break it up...



That would be awesome to read!

Hey, you can't please everyone. If someone can't tell you why they dislike your fic, don't worry about it. I think this chap was good, but I don't want to see a lemon between Naru and Tem, it would scar me!

I like Ten-Ten, so I am good. It is nice to see a little bit of everybody, I love Sasu/Naru, Kaka/Iru, and Shika/Neji, but a nice change of scenery is good! Well, as always great writing.

Very good, the transition is nice. I don't like Hiashi, never did. Are we going to have a main pairing, or is this just going to encompass everyone? Is this before the current chap of "Not You Too!" I am trying to fix a timeline in my mind, because of the whole Shika/Neji baby thing right now.

Can you have my fanfiction babies? I love you!


This story seems sooo awesome, and it's only the first chapter!

Ebisu, if I'm not mistaken, has one of the other Oro-clones? I might be wrong. (if so, sorry)


Awaits next Episode... :D