rate_review Reviews

Hyuuga Hiashi Hiashi is the leader of the Hyuuga clan's main house and has two daughters, Hinata and Hanabi. He feels guilty for the death of his twin brother, Hizashi (Neji's father), who gave his life for him.

I like it very much. Please write more.

Great so far looking forward to more.

oo realy nice i hope you continue

the father's name is hyuuga hiashi

Hey
I really liked your story. I hope that you make more chapters cause that would be awesome. Keep up the good work!!

RewRu

ok the story's great, love the whole "he sooo hot, and hinatas father is named Hiashi. i hope to see the rest up soon.

its a really good concept, just feels a little rushed. The sentence stucture is what is causing this. Do not feel bad though, most authors make the same mistake that you are. Try using commas to separate multiple thoughts within a sentence and semi-colons to separate different ideas. This creates a pause, some people might call it an authors breathe. The only real improvement it needs is modified sentence structure to "slow" the story down some. Other then that a great story so far and I will look forward to the next chapter. If you need a beta reader do not hesitate to ask. I will always edit for someone doing a Naru/hina story.
cheers,
Nameramthgin

-Hinatas father(A/N: if anyone know this guys name please put it in the reviews section, Thank you.)- His name is Hyuuga Hiashi, the sister is Hanabi. I also thought I'd mention a site that had tons of Naruto info; wikipedia.org. I warn you though, there's hella spoilers for the anime. Also, I like the story so far.

dude good work please hurry on the next chapters