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July 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wicked story ^_^~~!! I love the mention of Naruto's whiskers (they're so cute). This chapter is my favourite so far =) Please update soon!
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July 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ahh i love this story, it's really good; i should really say more because it's very deserving, but i'm like braindead right now from lack of sleep (but if i don't review now i'll forget to later) so anyway, it's awesome, i like that you took the time to establish their friendship is still intact, even if naruto still has that nagging worry that sasuke will leave again; the turn the plot is taking is really interesting as well, and i hope you continue this soon
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July 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm at Chapter 3, as in getting ready to read it. I'm really enjoying your story. I don't even know how to describe it. I love author's that don't rush into the story, they let their characters develop, and the scenes unfold so nicely.
I just loved the scene where Naruto and Sasuke meet and then afterwards at Naruto's apartment. It just felt so natural, and I can't believe how IC they both are! It's like a hint of a relationship, and yet it doesn't add anything more than there already was in the canon (well, close enough!). Just everything feels so subtle. I don't feel like you're pushing to get them in bed. And it's just super nice. I hope it continues like this.
And usually I get distracted when kyuubi gets involved in stories, but I find it's kind of great for comic relief, and it's not overpowering. Aww shucks, I like this story a lot.
I just loved the scene where Naruto and Sasuke meet and then afterwards at Naruto's apartment. It just felt so natural, and I can't believe how IC they both are! It's like a hint of a relationship, and yet it doesn't add anything more than there already was in the canon (well, close enough!). Just everything feels so subtle. I don't feel like you're pushing to get them in bed. And it's just super nice. I hope it continues like this.
And usually I get distracted when kyuubi gets involved in stories, but I find it's kind of great for comic relief, and it's not overpowering. Aww shucks, I like this story a lot.
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July 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Shit, I saw the end coming, and I was actually pretty upset because there aren't any more chapters after that! Ok, wow, great story. I read your notes on the third chapter about how you didn't like it or thought nothing happened, but that might've been my favorite chapter. You think you didn't do anything? But that scene in the river was so beautifully set up, and the way they were interrupted there at that moment allowed for lots of interesting things to set up.
Oh gosh, and granted I don't want to say anything bad, but the fourth chapter was the one that felt rushed and was a little hard to follow, but if it was easy to follow then I suppose the boys would actually know what was going on as well, ugh, and so I can only have to ask another question I have so that I can go on to more of the great stuff I loved, did Sasuke tell Naruto about the fire, and why haven't they gone back to the village straight away? Maybe I should reread that part.
Ok, but again, the fifth chapter was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. And in the middle I really wanted to ask you where you are when you write because the imagery is spectacular so I pictured you writing by moonlight in some peaceful place (barf I know, but that's what I was thinking). I just can't get over how in the moment it all feels! Woo, I'm getting giddy here hold on and I'll try to calm down. I really enjoy/am intrigued by this inner debate going on in Sasuke's head about how he always leans on another and then moves to the next and here he's doing it with Naruto. And my heart says that's great because Sasuke should be allowed to live for himself, and at the same time I want to also believe he doesn't just want to use Naruto like that (which is obvious because of what Sasuke has said so far about him wanting it to be real, etc... ) Gosh that's really great that you call that his nindo. I mean I'd never really thought about Sasuke's hangups before!
Ok, also, I love your Naruto. I always love IC Narutos that aren't weak or ukeish (not that that's an issue here anyway). Naruto has been so consistent, and I feel how he's reluctant to let go of the idea that Sasuke might leave, and I love how even though he questions how he feels about Sasuke... that way... the kyuubi is telling him all the while that he should just "hit that." I didn't describe that very well.
Anyway, I'll just shut up after I analyze this last bit. I am so glad you offered a look into what it was like for Sasuke when he was with Orochimaru. And that he turned over with innocent eyes! It's easy to forget that when it all happened they were just kids thrown in circumstances they had no control over, so no matter what they've been through, they still are rather innocent in that respect. And that it made him physically ill really says a lot about this Sasuke. And the way you described Naruto's concern in that moment! And then when Sasuke steals Naruto's pillow... oh I wanted more (did Naruto notice or think anything? was it an impulse on Sasuke's part to take it, did he need comfort just then or something else?) Oops, I know I said it would be the last thing, but it really eased the tension when Naruto was thumping on the shower wall and Sasuke thought he was well, you know! Very cute.
I know this was from the earlier chapters, but I am so pleased with the way you write. And so I picked out this particular description you had when poor Sasuke was dwelling on his feelings for Naruto. I loved it so much: "Uchihas were a stubborn family, and he was no exception. Perfectly prepared to sit on his infatuation for all eternity, Sasuke quieted."
So very good! Please don't rush yourself. I know it's going to be so great when it all falls together. DO NOT RUSH THE SEX. It will be disappointing if you do. Gosh, and I kind of hope it'll be sweet. No one ever does it where it's sweet, though whatever happens happens. The temp/rhythm of the story is JUST RIGHT. So no worries. Thank you for such a wonderful story so far! I can't wait for the update!
Oh gosh, and granted I don't want to say anything bad, but the fourth chapter was the one that felt rushed and was a little hard to follow, but if it was easy to follow then I suppose the boys would actually know what was going on as well, ugh, and so I can only have to ask another question I have so that I can go on to more of the great stuff I loved, did Sasuke tell Naruto about the fire, and why haven't they gone back to the village straight away? Maybe I should reread that part.
Ok, but again, the fifth chapter was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. And in the middle I really wanted to ask you where you are when you write because the imagery is spectacular so I pictured you writing by moonlight in some peaceful place (barf I know, but that's what I was thinking). I just can't get over how in the moment it all feels! Woo, I'm getting giddy here hold on and I'll try to calm down. I really enjoy/am intrigued by this inner debate going on in Sasuke's head about how he always leans on another and then moves to the next and here he's doing it with Naruto. And my heart says that's great because Sasuke should be allowed to live for himself, and at the same time I want to also believe he doesn't just want to use Naruto like that (which is obvious because of what Sasuke has said so far about him wanting it to be real, etc... ) Gosh that's really great that you call that his nindo. I mean I'd never really thought about Sasuke's hangups before!
Ok, also, I love your Naruto. I always love IC Narutos that aren't weak or ukeish (not that that's an issue here anyway). Naruto has been so consistent, and I feel how he's reluctant to let go of the idea that Sasuke might leave, and I love how even though he questions how he feels about Sasuke... that way... the kyuubi is telling him all the while that he should just "hit that." I didn't describe that very well.
Anyway, I'll just shut up after I analyze this last bit. I am so glad you offered a look into what it was like for Sasuke when he was with Orochimaru. And that he turned over with innocent eyes! It's easy to forget that when it all happened they were just kids thrown in circumstances they had no control over, so no matter what they've been through, they still are rather innocent in that respect. And that it made him physically ill really says a lot about this Sasuke. And the way you described Naruto's concern in that moment! And then when Sasuke steals Naruto's pillow... oh I wanted more (did Naruto notice or think anything? was it an impulse on Sasuke's part to take it, did he need comfort just then or something else?) Oops, I know I said it would be the last thing, but it really eased the tension when Naruto was thumping on the shower wall and Sasuke thought he was well, you know! Very cute.
I know this was from the earlier chapters, but I am so pleased with the way you write. And so I picked out this particular description you had when poor Sasuke was dwelling on his feelings for Naruto. I loved it so much: "Uchihas were a stubborn family, and he was no exception. Perfectly prepared to sit on his infatuation for all eternity, Sasuke quieted."
So very good! Please don't rush yourself. I know it's going to be so great when it all falls together. DO NOT RUSH THE SEX. It will be disappointing if you do. Gosh, and I kind of hope it'll be sweet. No one ever does it where it's sweet, though whatever happens happens. The temp/rhythm of the story is JUST RIGHT. So no worries. Thank you for such a wonderful story so far! I can't wait for the update!
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May 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love your story and how you've written Naruto and Sasuke. Can't wait for more of it! :)
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May 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh sweet jesus you're back with an update! I can't wait til you add more chapters!!
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May 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like your story. It is staying true to the characters and that is rare to find. I'm just dissapointed that they haven't came together yet. I feel like we're being teased. But then again, I'm just an old fashioned pervert of sorts, lol. I can't wait to see how these two finally come together. And I wonder what is happening in Konoha. Nicely done.
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February 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
...meh.
why'd you leave it off there? this story is fabulous; write more soon, please! ^--^
why'd you leave it off there? this story is fabulous; write more soon, please! ^--^
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February 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very well done.....
Keeping up with it...you have to make it more known who's talking or thinking. like add said the fox or kuubi or like naruto stated i am having trouble knowing whos talking and so on.
and you should have a special symbol and no iltalics when naruto and the fox chat.
Keeping up with it...you have to make it more known who's talking or thinking. like add said the fox or kuubi or like naruto stated i am having trouble knowing whos talking and so on.
and you should have a special symbol and no iltalics when naruto and the fox chat.
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January 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very nice I like how your taking your time on this and I love kyuubi in this fic as well, keep up the great work
Arry
Arry