AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Personal Assistant

by Trollmia

person Ever Rin
schedule February 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
YOU MUST UPDATE SOON!!!!! YOU MUST PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
person yvie
schedule February 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed this story. Especially Hinata kicking Sasuke right there, that was so funny.

By the way, just some little things: you had some little grammer and spelling mistakes but nothing really big. However, you used Hinata-san and Sasuke-chan. The 'san' for Hinata would be alright because 'san' goes for everyone but 'chan' is usually used for girls. While it may be used for boys, it is rather rare that a father would call his son with a suffix at the end. It is not really done much and it would be very strange for Sasuke's father to call him Sasuke-chan because that's actually a very feminine way of addressing him, gay even in the homo sense of the word.

There is just one more thing, I think somewhere Hinata called herself 'Hinata-san'. The 'san' and 'chan' and these kinds of suffix are for addressing others only, they are never used for oneself. For example, I would never say, "My name is yvie-san" because that's not correct.

I liked this idea though, it is very interesting!
Yvie
person Mi-chan
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You MUST complete this. I love it. Hinata is the best. Please, Please, PLEASE more? *gives you an ice cream cone* Please?
person Deja
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awesome job man! Keep up the good work! Can't wait til' Ch.2
person Waiting_Forever
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Yay for Sasuke/Hinata fanfics! There really should be more of them. Anyway, enjoying the story so far. Can't wait for the next update.
person TripleS
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I can't wait to read more! this is awesome! I love it! I absolutely love it!