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August 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awsome
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August 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It was ok for a first try. but thats why onshot collections r so good. if u keep writing in this ur lemons will get better and better. It just like anything else in the wolrd. If u don't practice then u won't get better.
Nexttime try to lengthen it a bit. Try todiscribe as much as possible. if ur face isn't red wile ur writing it then it needs more.
and remeber its all Because I Can
Nexttime try to lengthen it a bit. Try todiscribe as much as possible. if ur face isn't red wile ur writing it then it needs more.
and remeber its all Because I Can
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August 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Well first off you started a lil out of person didn't know who was doing what. But you made it an ok fic but you need to work on the talk of the three and make sustain the character a bit and I would like to see a Sakura,Naruto, and Ino
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August 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was Pretty good, your one of the few who do good on there first try. Can u do a Naruto/Sakura/Temari please.
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August 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i like it and i hope that you will make more of these ****
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August 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I wouldn't mind seeing a Naruto/Temari/Kin or Tayuya, but that's just me. you've effectively hit on my favorite already.... looking forward to more PWP! maybe even (one day) some WITH PLOT! (jk) cya
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August 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
that was good, but could you put more detail in it? also i vote for narutotententemari next.
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August 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i like this but i wish you would make it longer, the shortness of it is kind of a tease:P but still good for your first time.
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August 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Naruto/temari/Sakura/ino
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July 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
right now you are my new favorite person, NARUTO/TEMARI is my favorite pairing ever!!! there are many different ways that you could do this. at the chunin exams before she really knew him. or after the garra rescue mission. or a NARUTO/TEMARI/TENTEN fic. just PLEASE dont drop this!!! any way good luck ^_^