AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Temari's Crush

by lorin

schedule December 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like it. I normally put Hinata and Kiba together, and Temari and Shikamaru, but this is an interesting fic. Keep it up.
schedule December 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
awsome story

one little annoyance

temari pretime skip was already 15...2 1/2 yrs later shed be 17-18...3-4 years after that in your story shed be 21-22 not 20

sry,im a fan boy XD

but really great story
person BookaG
schedule June 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
If someone gave you an idea on how to go forward, it wouldn't be you continuing your story. Just think, think, think! That's the way to overcome writer's block. I like the way you've written it so far.
person geeker
schedule April 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well, i suppose dinner is in order...along with "desert". personaly i think tamari and hinata make a great couple. maybe if you were to try to add more detail to the story itd be easier to find more things to extend the length of this read. just an opinion, a comment, and posibly an idea.
person Yuki
schedule December 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm normaly a yaoi girl but I got bet to read a yuri fic and
I think this might catch on with me.And no I'm stright.
Up date soon
Ja ne,
Yuki
*dancing*I just got $100,$100
schedule December 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
if your stuck on the next chapter here is a helpful hint. relax and close your eyes and let your imagination take over. that is what i do when i write a story.

but if that doesn't work then jsut continue the storyline. temari goes to hinata's for dinner. temari meets hinata's father and sister. they eat. temari and hinata do something to be alone (like go for a walk) they express their love for each other and i think you can get it from there.
person shattered919
schedule October 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ok that story was moving way too fast you need to take time with it. theres needs to be more outside interaction and more negative things happening in the story to make it more realistic. -__- this story was boring and too short
person Smile hatred
schedule August 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter man sorry didn't give you a review on the last chapter
person Neko-Chan
schedule August 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awwwwwwwwwww ^_^ so cute!!! i feel all warm and fuzzy now ^^ Great chapter!!! Hope theres more soon!!!
person Neko-Chan
schedule August 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awwww!!! Hinata is so kawaii!!! Great chapter!!! Cant wait for more!!