rate_review Reviews

How old is every one in this fic because passing the tittle of hokage to 12-15 year old is weird

the fuck

...........

.......... >_>;;;; hmmmm...interesting....

continue? I would love to see more naruto girls in this ><

but NOT TEMARI!! arg...tired of sand incest!

This story is very good...

Although I have no idea if its even possible, this should definitely be finished!

This could be interesting...

Wow, haha "Bark for me!" That was great, I don't know why I mean it's rape you would think it would make you turn away but it's really really entertaining and interesting. Ha, I bet I sound a little pervy now, whatever.
This gives me a looottt of ideas...Gaara does seem like a pretty good rapist. Hinata knows she likes it! XDD

{Yay for dominatrix-like Gaara! <3333333333}

awaiting chapter 3,
-Minty

THIS STORY SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RAPE,RAPE.RAPE GOOD GOD I FEEL SO SOSOSOSOSSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOS SORRY FOR HER I MEAN GAARA SCARS THE CHIT OUT OF ME I WOULD HATE TO BE IN THAT SITUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit sorry my bad but you got the piont right??????????????

everyone's lying to you... this sucks. it's WAY TOO ooc to be good. and the dialogue just makes it worse

love it!!! write more..like now

I think that you really should practice writing a bit more, maybe get a beta to help you. It's always a good thing to have another person look over your work before you publish it. The second chapter was by far much better than the first, but still really rough. If you want to write a rape fic there is nothing stopping you, but you might want to consider that Hinata probably wouldn't be begging for it when being beaten. The dog barking part was just odd to put it nicely.

I won't probably read or review again, because I really do abhor rape fics...when you have a friend who was gang raped in college and you hear what rape is really like then you don't exactly like reading stories that are not only about rape but very off the mark. I have half a mind to write one just to show people how utterly horrid the experience actually is, not this happy little fantasy that some make it out to be...but that would require me to think far too long about something that really disgusts me.

Try doing writing exercises, even journaling will help you become a better author. Take the time to formulate your ideas and draw them out. I hope to see some other fic from you in the future...something that isn't about rape. This is your only fic right now, so it's really hard for me to judge your overall skill by one fic on a topic that I don't like. Don't give up on writing, just practice. It will help you in the long run