rate_review Reviews

u ever gonna update?

you're very good at literature aren't you. you describe everything really well, i like your story

when are you going to update this? :)

Yippie! They kissed! x.x how old was that ramen anyhow? Update soon!

Oh very nice! The humor had my literally laughing out loud a few times! The angst towards the end was well played too! - Maybe it could have been drawn out a little more. Make Sakura's panic a little more palpable, her fear a little more real. As the realization of the fact that she actually has hurt him sets, in allow her to feel some hurt before the fear. But honestly it is not necessary. - Write more!

I agree totally with TerraChrono. Using some phrases like Baka or Gomen, general terms that everyone knows is fine. But when you string out other phrases its is an eyesore. Besides that fact, I extremely like the first chapter, any Naru/Saku goodness is great for the economy and it lowers gas prices.^^

Good writing, lame ending.

Very cute! I don't really get the Princess F. stuff, but I thought the bit about the Medical Miracle show was funny. I also liked the reference to the Sasuke/Sakura bench scene. Since I don't watch much anime beyond Naruto, I didn't get the reference that was supposed to clarify what Sakura looked like. I like the bit where Sakura is in the kitchen thinking about how Naruto would get the ramen from the high shelf, too.

Hey nice story. I like the whole setup but I didn't know in the later paragraphs what was going on. Other than that it was pretty good

First off, quit with the interspersed Japanese. It makes me want to puke when I see a writer of English interjecting Japanese into their textr for the sole reason of showing that they can do it. It.s an eyesore and makes you look like an unhealthily-obsessed otaku (in this case, the usage of the term otaku is valid because it is a word with no English equivalent. Gomen, short for gomenasai, however, does have an English equivalent, 'sorry'). As you can likely infer from the parenthesis, using a word of Japanese word that has no English equivalent (kunai, nin, etc.) is an acceptable practice because it's much more conducive for the story than using a string of English words in its place. In short, either write all dialogue in Japanese, or stick to English. Don't meander in both. Meanwhile, the rest of your first chapter is well-written, laying a good foundation for the rest of your story. Take this review into consideration.