schedule
February 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
So who’s his current boyfriend? Sai? ____ Ooh, Hinata and Neji are engaged. Cool. Are they cousins in this story? (I think in some places it’s legal for cousins to marry.) ____ So what’s Gaara’s part in this? I like the dialogue, by the way. ____ More than appropriate. ^^ ____ Hehehe, love Lee’s excitement. ^^ ____ Lol, love how Naruto catches Lee. ____ *Prrr*, love the paragraph when Naruto checks out Sasuke for the first time. ♥ ____ Very good physical description of Sasuke. ♥ ____ Whoops. Way to go, Naruto. u_u ____ Heheh, I like this line: “Maybe it was a good thing he’d had to take a taxi—the night now held new possibilities . . .” I wonder how his boyfriend would take to that. ____ Ino’s pregnant? Who knocked her up? ____ Ah, that’s who. That’s a cute scene of Shikamaru looking after Ino. =) ____ Heh—I like Sasuke’s initial words to Naruto, when Naruto tries to pick him up. ____ The wording and progression of the scene is really good so far. Stuff you’d see in a book more often than in fanfiction. ____ Heh—wish I could’ve heard Naruto’s speech. ^^ ____ Love Naruto’s determination to do Sasuke. He still has yet to learn the guy’s name, too. =) ____ The lines coming from Naruto and Sasuke seem very natural. =D ____ “Sweating glass of liquor.” Good one, I haven’t heard it before. ____ Love the subtle words and actions exchanged. ♥ ____ Ooooh, re-jec-ted. >.< ____ You know, it just occurred to me that they could be roleplaying. ^^ ____ So if the empty chair says that Sasuke’s boyfriend doesn’t make it up to him, what does that say about Naruto’s boyfriend, who’s also not here? ____ I guess if they’re not roleplaying, their boyfriends are anonymous guys who remind them of each other. Well, Naruto’s could be Sai, but Sai’s much funnier than Sasuke. ____ Smooth, how Sasuke drew Naruto’s attention to the lower half of his body. =D ____ Yeah, they’ve got to be roleplaying. And if not, they have to dump their current boyfriends and hook up with each other. I’m starting to drool here from anticipation. ____ (*SQUEAL*) “. . . Sasuke informed him coyly . . .” Coyly. Sasuke’s COY. >w< ♥♥♥ ____ Strip-tease at a wedding? Is he nuts? ____ Heheh, the threat of utter embarrassment wins. Or maybe it’s the threat of turning him on all the way in public. ____ Sweet. ____ Man, this is hot. (*blush*) ____ Cool, they were caught. Disappointing, sure, but the transition and visualization is well-done. ____ Hopefully Sasuke’ll be waiting for him and won’t take off while Naruto’s gone. ____ Ahahaha, Gaara trying to soothe Gai. That’s great how Gai is Lee’s uncle in this. =D ____ Makes me want to see Neji’s and Hinata’s wedding. I wonder what Naruto was suggesting. ____ I like how you’re not rushing this scene. It makes me impatient and it’s totally delightful. ____ Aha, Neji’s disapproval. And it’s not saying “gorgeous strange men.” It just says “gorgeous men”. It could be a roleplay. ____ Love Naruto’s drawn-out leer. ____ This is great! =D ___ “West End.” “Broad Street.” I’ve never been to New York, but those names remind me of them. ____ OOPS. No $. ____ Hahaha, they’re SO roleplaying! XD ____ Hahaha! Nice! ^_^ ____ Love how it steadily gets more and more erotic as they keep talking and playing their game. ____ He’s such a tease! X3 ____ Heh—“You realize, Sasuke, you’re only going to get it so much worse for that.” Great line. =D ____ Love how this just drags on and on. There’s talent in that. The longer, the better. ____ Ooh, love Sasuke’s sudden order to Naruto. =D ____ Cool: “Sasuke came like a strike of lightning.” Totally. ____ “Matching rings of translucent white fluid.” Rings? Symbolic? ____ Love the sudden seriousness when Naruto says, “I like our games . . . But it better never happen for real.” ____ That’s another cool phrase: “couching the compliment within an insult.” Unique. ____ Heh—“and also the satisfied smirks that they thought they were hiding from each other.” They thought they were hiding them. ^_^ ____ That’s neat, the scene of Sasuke reading a book to “wind down for the night.” ____ In a CATHOLIC CHURCH! XDDD This is hilarious! ____ LOL. “—NO.” And then the compromise. ^^ ____ Cute ending!
WANT MORE!! ♥♥♥
So who’s his current boyfriend? Sai? ____ Ooh, Hinata and Neji are engaged. Cool. Are they cousins in this story? (I think in some places it’s legal for cousins to marry.) ____ So what’s Gaara’s part in this? I like the dialogue, by the way. ____ More than appropriate. ^^ ____ Hehehe, love Lee’s excitement. ^^ ____ Lol, love how Naruto catches Lee. ____ *Prrr*, love the paragraph when Naruto checks out Sasuke for the first time. ♥ ____ Very good physical description of Sasuke. ♥ ____ Whoops. Way to go, Naruto. u_u ____ Heheh, I like this line: “Maybe it was a good thing he’d had to take a taxi—the night now held new possibilities . . .” I wonder how his boyfriend would take to that. ____ Ino’s pregnant? Who knocked her up? ____ Ah, that’s who. That’s a cute scene of Shikamaru looking after Ino. =) ____ Heh—I like Sasuke’s initial words to Naruto, when Naruto tries to pick him up. ____ The wording and progression of the scene is really good so far. Stuff you’d see in a book more often than in fanfiction. ____ Heh—wish I could’ve heard Naruto’s speech. ^^ ____ Love Naruto’s determination to do Sasuke. He still has yet to learn the guy’s name, too. =) ____ The lines coming from Naruto and Sasuke seem very natural. =D ____ “Sweating glass of liquor.” Good one, I haven’t heard it before. ____ Love the subtle words and actions exchanged. ♥ ____ Ooooh, re-jec-ted. >.< ____ You know, it just occurred to me that they could be roleplaying. ^^ ____ So if the empty chair says that Sasuke’s boyfriend doesn’t make it up to him, what does that say about Naruto’s boyfriend, who’s also not here? ____ I guess if they’re not roleplaying, their boyfriends are anonymous guys who remind them of each other. Well, Naruto’s could be Sai, but Sai’s much funnier than Sasuke. ____ Smooth, how Sasuke drew Naruto’s attention to the lower half of his body. =D ____ Yeah, they’ve got to be roleplaying. And if not, they have to dump their current boyfriends and hook up with each other. I’m starting to drool here from anticipation. ____ (*SQUEAL*) “. . . Sasuke informed him coyly . . .” Coyly. Sasuke’s COY. >w< ♥♥♥ ____ Strip-tease at a wedding? Is he nuts? ____ Heheh, the threat of utter embarrassment wins. Or maybe it’s the threat of turning him on all the way in public. ____ Sweet. ____ Man, this is hot. (*blush*) ____ Cool, they were caught. Disappointing, sure, but the transition and visualization is well-done. ____ Hopefully Sasuke’ll be waiting for him and won’t take off while Naruto’s gone. ____ Ahahaha, Gaara trying to soothe Gai. That’s great how Gai is Lee’s uncle in this. =D ____ Makes me want to see Neji’s and Hinata’s wedding. I wonder what Naruto was suggesting. ____ I like how you’re not rushing this scene. It makes me impatient and it’s totally delightful. ____ Aha, Neji’s disapproval. And it’s not saying “gorgeous strange men.” It just says “gorgeous men”. It could be a roleplay. ____ Love Naruto’s drawn-out leer. ____ This is great! =D ___ “West End.” “Broad Street.” I’ve never been to New York, but those names remind me of them. ____ OOPS. No $. ____ Hahaha, they’re SO roleplaying! XD ____ Hahaha! Nice! ^_^ ____ Love how it steadily gets more and more erotic as they keep talking and playing their game. ____ He’s such a tease! X3 ____ Heh—“You realize, Sasuke, you’re only going to get it so much worse for that.” Great line. =D ____ Love how this just drags on and on. There’s talent in that. The longer, the better. ____ Ooh, love Sasuke’s sudden order to Naruto. =D ____ Cool: “Sasuke came like a strike of lightning.” Totally. ____ “Matching rings of translucent white fluid.” Rings? Symbolic? ____ Love the sudden seriousness when Naruto says, “I like our games . . . But it better never happen for real.” ____ That’s another cool phrase: “couching the compliment within an insult.” Unique. ____ Heh—“and also the satisfied smirks that they thought they were hiding from each other.” They thought they were hiding them. ^_^ ____ That’s neat, the scene of Sasuke reading a book to “wind down for the night.” ____ In a CATHOLIC CHURCH! XDDD This is hilarious! ____ LOL. “—NO.” And then the compromise. ^^ ____ Cute ending!
WANT MORE!! ♥♥♥
schedule
December 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
HOT!!!
I just loved that game they played in this fic. Lol, it was amazing.
I had figured out a earlier in the fic that they were pretending and just loved how you had it play through.
I was looking forward to how you would finish it.
Thank you for not disappointing.
In the end I liked how you put in there that even if they enjoyed the game they wouldn't think about doing something like that.
Can't wait to see what happens next in the continuation.
I hope you finish the Arc, considering this was written a while ago.
Keep it up!
-Touya06
I just loved that game they played in this fic. Lol, it was amazing.
I had figured out a earlier in the fic that they were pretending and just loved how you had it play through.
I was looking forward to how you would finish it.
Thank you for not disappointing.
In the end I liked how you put in there that even if they enjoyed the game they wouldn't think about doing something like that.
Can't wait to see what happens next in the continuation.
I hope you finish the Arc, considering this was written a while ago.
Keep it up!
-Touya06
schedule
June 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hehe it wasn't hard to figure out it was a game between the two of them (as soon as Sasuke was talking about his moron of a boyfriend *snicker*) but it was a lot of fun to read anyway! Actually; it only made it better.
You write very good.
You write very good.
schedule
November 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well written, and paced with a sexy twist. I especially enjoyed Naruto's character in this story. He was confident, seductive, utterly charming and aggressive, not the usual whimpering uke that he is in many other stories. Sasuke was equally likable with his "too cool" attitude, and knowing smirks. It was fun to see him seduced by Naruto's cheeky wit and charm. I loved this story and look forward to reading the next parts. Thank you for another great read.
schedule
February 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Now that was PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!! After awhile I was like this has to playful banter and it was! It's so fresh, new, and well thought of and written, it was wonderful! Seriously, if aff had awards I would definitely nominate you for one. I can't beieve I am just now reading this. I can't wait until you update again.
schedule
February 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
mmmm i love Naruto being Sasuke's seme~ its yummy! XD
schedule
February 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Maa, did i LOVE this! This was an awesome way to sweeten up my Saturday. I am so glad you are writing more to this. Seriously. NaruxSasu pwns!!
schedule
October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this was really good. I mean, really, really good. I absolutely love Naruto and Sasuke's relationship here. Seems more palpable. I don't know, like I can actually imagine them doing this. I wasn't sure what to expect when I read your summary but this turned out to be great. I can't wait for the next installment. Excellent job!
schedule
September 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god, that was the best..Especially how it all turned out to be a game..Those kinky bastards! That's so hot! ahaha. Update this please! !!#!E$@
Do Neji's wedding next! Ahaha :D
Do Neji's wedding next! Ahaha :D
schedule
September 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
One of the best NaruSasu fics I've ever come across, much props to you!
It was fun, it was hot...and wow...just amazing!
will definately recommend this fic to my pals. XD
Here's hoping to see more excellent NaruSasu fics from you! *bribes you with cookies*
It was fun, it was hot...and wow...just amazing!
will definately recommend this fic to my pals. XD
Here's hoping to see more excellent NaruSasu fics from you! *bribes you with cookies*