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April 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
sexy :D
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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really adored this. It was a beautiful examination of their relationship and their rivalry and their dynamics as lovers. You did an excellent job with description. VERY VIVID. I loved it!
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January 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Dang, interesting beginning. I like the metaphor. . . . I like the slow picture of the scene forming. Just little by little, the scene becomes more and more clear to the reader. . . . I’m a little confused, but the story’s interesting. . . . Very poetic. . . . Some of the colors used in description earlier were kind of confusing. I think you were going for one thing, and I was getting a different image or something. It’s coming more clear now, though. . . . Whoops, “With a grin dancing across his hips” You mean “lips.” . . . “The concept was mutual. “It was the truth.” Good point. . . . I’m a little confused when the POV wavers from one to the other. It’s kind of hard to tell who’s thinking what. But maybe that’s the point? . . . Oh, that’s a good one: “a title that the guy never allowed him to use.” . . . This is cool.
This is one of the most poetic stories I’ve read. B E A U T I F U L.
Dang, interesting beginning. I like the metaphor. . . . I like the slow picture of the scene forming. Just little by little, the scene becomes more and more clear to the reader. . . . I’m a little confused, but the story’s interesting. . . . Very poetic. . . . Some of the colors used in description earlier were kind of confusing. I think you were going for one thing, and I was getting a different image or something. It’s coming more clear now, though. . . . Whoops, “With a grin dancing across his hips” You mean “lips.” . . . “The concept was mutual. “It was the truth.” Good point. . . . I’m a little confused when the POV wavers from one to the other. It’s kind of hard to tell who’s thinking what. But maybe that’s the point? . . . Oh, that’s a good one: “a title that the guy never allowed him to use.” . . . This is cool.
This is one of the most poetic stories I’ve read. B E A U T I F U L.
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November 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This was good. A few parts were confiusing as to who was thinking. But the whole thing was Naruto, right? I really like the part with the headband, how Naruto held it and left for a few days to have it be like new, but it still had finger marks... I hope you write a lot more stories. I agree there aren't enough Narusasu stories; and definately not enough where they're both in character.
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October 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
really well written. im glad i read it. :)
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September 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
so. very. amazingly. hot.....wow.....i mean it too....that was just wow.....
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December 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was beautiful. Excellent characterization.
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November 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Men and our power games,in this case justified.Wonderful vocabulary.Solid grip on the dynamic of these two.Kudos.Stages Avenger?
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September 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
what can i say it was powerful,poetic! Damn good job!
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September 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i love it!!! Fabulous job!!! Very poetic ^^