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September 12, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Kill yourself, virgin.
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October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this is a good story i hope to read the next chapter soon
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October 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hopefully the messanger is Shikamaru but it is your story.. Hope to ehar from you.. E-mail me so we can talk at JTB8834@aol.com I would like to know a few things since you will be tied up with a few things... Like the update but I have a few suggestions for you if you want to hear them
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October 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey I like the story I hope you update it soon. I like the way everything was going. The part of Naruto letting the Kyubi taking over so Sakura can be happy was very touching cuz of Naruto's character and then she realizes she loves him too late then he comes back to them and hopefully things get better for everyone..... Update soon e-mail me at JTB8834@aol.com
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You have a great story line here, but you do need some work, for one, you're not descriptive enough, not a big problem, also, you use their names almost all the time, I would suggesta rewrite where you use , her, they, and others more often, also, you need a bit of work on your grammar, if you decide to follow my advice, I would also suggest a beta
Just makes good sense.
Catch ya on the flip side
Just makes good sense.
Catch ya on the flip side
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October 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It shows that you are a math person and not really a writer. This isn't to say it's bad. This is merely to say that you possess, albeit cliched, a small talent for romance. Cliche isn't bad, your story has just enough tenderness to keep us going. I suggest a beta, or a freind who is very specialized in english writing. That way you can sit back, write, and they take care of awkward phrases and the like.
Ja!
Matthew
Ja!
Matthew
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September 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You gotta work on your grammar and writing style. It's exhausting to read~
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September 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really don't have any sujestions because all the ideas i can come up with will change the story to much but if u don't like any of the other ones u get just email me and i'll fire so much at u u'll be bound to find something worth while.
Anyways i like what ur doin and keep it up.
Because I Can
Anyways i like what ur doin and keep it up.
Because I Can
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September 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
kick ass keep updating it.
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September 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! Keep updating.