schedule
April 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM
you know if it did strike the prostate hard or as you said with a tinge of pain it probably damaged it that would cause getting a erection either extremely hard and difficult to maintain or not even get one
schedule
May 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I know it's PWP, but the premise was too lame, even for a PWP. For one thing, Naruto didn't think Sasuke had any kind of a personality at the beginning of the fic, but then by the end, and in the space of what? 3 or 4 hours? they were promising to never ever leave each other. WTF. Given everything that happened in this fic, did we really have to have the gratuitous twu luv 4evah thing at the end?!
For another thing, I have to say the idea of Sasuke as the school's willing cumdump was disturbing. So any guy whatsoever who felt like getting off could have a go with Sasuke, eh? Even some fat, smelly otaku who just wanted to brag he'd gotten a piece of him? Naruto wasn't any better than the hypothetical fat, smelly otaku since he just wanted to use Sasuke as a convenience--unlike a prostitute, Sasuke doesn't charge!--and wasn't entirely sold on the idea of them being boyfriends. Oh yeah, I can really feel the love between them.
For another thing, I have to say the idea of Sasuke as the school's willing cumdump was disturbing. So any guy whatsoever who felt like getting off could have a go with Sasuke, eh? Even some fat, smelly otaku who just wanted to brag he'd gotten a piece of him? Naruto wasn't any better than the hypothetical fat, smelly otaku since he just wanted to use Sasuke as a convenience--unlike a prostitute, Sasuke doesn't charge!--and wasn't entirely sold on the idea of them being boyfriends. Oh yeah, I can really feel the love between them.
schedule
September 16, 2010 at 12:00 AM
wow...i'd jsut like to say...um wow.
schedule
August 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Lol, the exchange. ____ “Sure Sasuke was hot, but was it worth risking his life to be certain of his sexuality?” GREAT LINE. ____ Alcohol is never to blame, buddy. You’re gay or bi. ____ “It’s really easy, just hit on him, telling him want to fuck or go for the really direct approach …” LOL, as if that wasn’t direct. XD
Oh boy, I know who their PE coach is. XD ____ Aw, Kiba, you jerk. XD
Busted. ____ “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Lol, I’ll betcha Sasuke heard that. ____ The blunt way Sasuke’s talking to Naruto is really hot. ____ Heh—one rule broken. (Sasuke’s not going to be thrilled once this is over.) ____ Heh—quickie in the shower, then not so much as a goodbye. Yet I can see there’s a long way to go in this story, so I’ve no doubt that they’ll speak again. ____ Oh jeez. KIBA! You could’ve mentioned that earlier! (*headdesk*) (Even though I’m pretty sure that Naruto’s going to be Sasuke’s exception.)
Nuh-uh. Sasuke groped you, didn’t he, Naruto? ____ YEP! XD ____ Oh jeezus, Naruto, at the rate you’re going, you may as well tell the school that you screwed him. XDDD ____ Hmm, Sasuke or Shino? DEFINITELY SASUKE! I HATE SPIDERS! DX ____ Jeez, Sakon, that sounds scary. ____ Yay, Sasuke likes him. =) ____ Well. Sasuke’s given up the no-kissing rule. ____ The sudden jump to Sasuke’s POV while he’s giving head was kind of awkward. Up until this point, the story’s only been in Naruto’s POV, and the jump wasn’t only so startlingly sudden, it was also confusing because at first it sounded like it was saying that Naruto was the one who had given head before. Still, the description in that paragraph is very erotic. ____ Boy, that’s awkward. Sasuke leaves just like that. I wonder why he doesn’t linger. Maybe he’s working up to it. ____ All this mouth-covering is really funny. ____ “I didn’t know the sex was an audition for anything!” XD ____ Oh man, that’s rough. Sakura gives up on Sasuke and starts paying more attention to Naruto … WHEN NARUTO’S TARGETED BY SASUKE! XDDD ____ Aw man, another tough choice. Sakura or Sasuke, Naruto? ____ I wouldn’t say Sakura would be pissed just because Naruto didn’t sit down next to her. A little hurt, maybe. It shouldn’t be much of a big deal.
Man … all in one day. This is going incredibly fast. I swear, if Naruto’s not the one, I’m going to be very disappointed. ____ Lol, making out in Laser Tag. ____ Yay, Itachi’s still around. And travelling. =) ____ And there goes rule two. ____ VEEEEEERRRRY EROTIC. GREAT JOB. ____ Lol, he wore Sasuke out. That must be a first. ____ Aww, cute.
Very nice! I enjoyed it! I’d call this mostly a PWP, but not entirely because there was just a little bit of a plot in there. I get the feeling, though, that the plot wasn’t the main focus of this story, so good job!
Lol, the exchange. ____ “Sure Sasuke was hot, but was it worth risking his life to be certain of his sexuality?” GREAT LINE. ____ Alcohol is never to blame, buddy. You’re gay or bi. ____ “It’s really easy, just hit on him, telling him want to fuck or go for the really direct approach …” LOL, as if that wasn’t direct. XD
Oh boy, I know who their PE coach is. XD ____ Aw, Kiba, you jerk. XD
Busted. ____ “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Lol, I’ll betcha Sasuke heard that. ____ The blunt way Sasuke’s talking to Naruto is really hot. ____ Heh—one rule broken. (Sasuke’s not going to be thrilled once this is over.) ____ Heh—quickie in the shower, then not so much as a goodbye. Yet I can see there’s a long way to go in this story, so I’ve no doubt that they’ll speak again. ____ Oh jeez. KIBA! You could’ve mentioned that earlier! (*headdesk*) (Even though I’m pretty sure that Naruto’s going to be Sasuke’s exception.)
Nuh-uh. Sasuke groped you, didn’t he, Naruto? ____ YEP! XD ____ Oh jeezus, Naruto, at the rate you’re going, you may as well tell the school that you screwed him. XDDD ____ Hmm, Sasuke or Shino? DEFINITELY SASUKE! I HATE SPIDERS! DX ____ Jeez, Sakon, that sounds scary. ____ Yay, Sasuke likes him. =) ____ Well. Sasuke’s given up the no-kissing rule. ____ The sudden jump to Sasuke’s POV while he’s giving head was kind of awkward. Up until this point, the story’s only been in Naruto’s POV, and the jump wasn’t only so startlingly sudden, it was also confusing because at first it sounded like it was saying that Naruto was the one who had given head before. Still, the description in that paragraph is very erotic. ____ Boy, that’s awkward. Sasuke leaves just like that. I wonder why he doesn’t linger. Maybe he’s working up to it. ____ All this mouth-covering is really funny. ____ “I didn’t know the sex was an audition for anything!” XD ____ Oh man, that’s rough. Sakura gives up on Sasuke and starts paying more attention to Naruto … WHEN NARUTO’S TARGETED BY SASUKE! XDDD ____ Aw man, another tough choice. Sakura or Sasuke, Naruto? ____ I wouldn’t say Sakura would be pissed just because Naruto didn’t sit down next to her. A little hurt, maybe. It shouldn’t be much of a big deal.
Man … all in one day. This is going incredibly fast. I swear, if Naruto’s not the one, I’m going to be very disappointed. ____ Lol, making out in Laser Tag. ____ Yay, Itachi’s still around. And travelling. =) ____ And there goes rule two. ____ VEEEEEERRRRY EROTIC. GREAT JOB. ____ Lol, he wore Sasuke out. That must be a first. ____ Aww, cute.
Very nice! I enjoyed it! I’d call this mostly a PWP, but not entirely because there was just a little bit of a plot in there. I get the feeling, though, that the plot wasn’t the main focus of this story, so good job!
schedule
April 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wow, very porny and very hot, kind of OoC though (but for once I don't really care). Thank you so much for writing this story, write more oneshots like this? Please?
schedule
May 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was GOD! You are GOD! I freaking bow to you and this ultimately and sinfully SMEXILICIOUS STORY!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE Make a sequel!!!
That was GOD! You are GOD! I freaking bow to you and this ultimately and sinfully SMEXILICIOUS STORY!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE Make a sequel!!!
schedule
September 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey! I really liked Tormented and I was wondering if you'd possibly consider turning it into a chaptered story. I just had this thought as I was reading of Naruto Telling Sasori, Gaara, Kiba and Deidara who it was they ended up kidnapping and what their reactions would be. Also Sasuke said he wanted to keep Naruto by him forever basically so I was thinking it would be cool to see how they would interact outside of the the Saviour/Victim scenario.
If you'd like to use this suggestion that would be awesome. If not, no worries.
Thanks for reading my review,
Nisha
If you'd like to use this suggestion that would be awesome. If not, no worries.
Thanks for reading my review,
Nisha
schedule
July 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
One word: HOT!!
schedule
July 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Crazy awesome. That's how my lover and I are. xD Damn, you're good.
schedule
April 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
HOT DAMN
now that was sexy
I wish there was more of this
even though I know that it would be kind of hard to fit in
but still
it doesn't need that much of a plot line to keep it going
just a sight hint of one
and more sexiness
but o well
it was still so amazingly good
I loved every minute of it~!
^o^
now that was sexy
I wish there was more of this
even though I know that it would be kind of hard to fit in
but still
it doesn't need that much of a plot line to keep it going
just a sight hint of one
and more sexiness
but o well
it was still so amazingly good
I loved every minute of it~!
^o^