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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Waow finally read it through thus far and the only thing
I can say is... OO OMG this story is really something.
I'm not really good at giving good comments but this
thing really makes sence... even when I don't really
know how it does... This is in some ways I would say
the way for those two to be together at all is like this...
So what should scare me most... that I think this is the
right way or that you thought it out...
Anyway great story, been a real pleasure to read it
I can say is... OO OMG this story is really something.
I'm not really good at giving good comments but this
thing really makes sence... even when I don't really
know how it does... This is in some ways I would say
the way for those two to be together at all is like this...
So what should scare me most... that I think this is the
right way or that you thought it out...
Anyway great story, been a real pleasure to read it
schedule
October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I went following the tracks and found the entirety of this story on your journal/thingy page. That was a few days ago, when you said you would not post more until tuesday (so after part 6). I wouldn't tell you this, except I want you to know that I put EFFORT into finding the rest of this story... and I'm much like Shikamaru in the lazy department (wish I had a brain to match). Me searching for something, that's not related to myself... is a statement in itself, however it's a statement that can not be easily understood so I shall stop focusing on it.
I wanted to review the story here, on this page, and didn't want to put the effort into figuring out how to review on your other page... thus the delay in getting feedback from me.
This story is awesome. And I don't mean in the token jargon use of the word 'awesome' I mean the literal scense. It is, and was totally mind blowing, inspiring, amazing and unforgettable. I deem it worthy of printing up, binding and putting on my shelf of fanfictions that I need to read over and over again. Trust me, it's not a big shelf, and I don't have much money. Now I've said that, I'll point out that i don't mean to insult you or offend you by printing it up like that. I mean to complement you. This story is epic, even if it's not momentous. It fluctuates and stills and holds in ways that most stories simply cant. I'll get back to the complements in a moment though. I just think I need to clarify that in printing up a copy of this story I also print up a page of details about where I got it from. If this is a problem go ahead a tell me. I respect that this is your property even if you didn't create the characters (not even the idea of Saki though you used her was an amazing flare).
Anyway. This story. Angst riden, sad, desperate - it made me smile. It made me feel warm inside and giddy and I was just proud ot have had the chance to read it. It's all words, adjetives whatever, but I mean each one. I'm a sucker for words I don't write what I don't mean. Your story was brilliant. And at the end of the story (this probably includes the epilogue which you haven't posted yet so anyone reading who hasn't read it should just look away) made up for every little bit of angst throughout the rest of it.
I'll admit to being a perv and tell you that you write sex scenes wonderfully. I don't want to really say that because without the rest of hte stories I don't htink those scenes would be anything near as spectacular as they are. But the main reason I'm telling you this is because you built up the meeting with Sasuke and Naruto (in part 8) with such skill and patients that that scene alone was the BEST sex scene I've ever read between Naruto and Sasuke. It was perfect and it was THEM not some stupid brats interpretation of them. It was them. Yes the Saki scenes where as welll... and I love the original Saki-chan stories and consider them also excellent. But your work... it's just blown everything out of the water. Because you made Sasuke crumble, you made him recreate himself find balance and accept things he just could before. You made him soften without stealing from him, and you made him soften without compromising the character of Uchiha Sasuke (my luck will be that I spelt his name wrong there). So that's it. The original Saki stories where great. But you finished them, you made an ending, a real plusable ending (as far as the Naruto universe goes.. Kyuubi and giant snakes and all).
I can't even give you constructive criticism. I'm trying depersatly to find something wrong with what I read so I can help you fix it. But I can not think of anything. So please forgive this fangirl worship (that means I'm now your fan and I'm worship you) and accept that I love this work of fiction and admire you greatly for having the forebarance and skill to write it down.
I am at the end of my rant and wish you luck in your next endevours. Please continue to write (I don't care what), as it would be a waste to have such a skill forgotten or ignored. Best of luck (yeah I said that already) and... yeah. Just good luck and thanks for the story.
Kimra
I wanted to review the story here, on this page, and didn't want to put the effort into figuring out how to review on your other page... thus the delay in getting feedback from me.
This story is awesome. And I don't mean in the token jargon use of the word 'awesome' I mean the literal scense. It is, and was totally mind blowing, inspiring, amazing and unforgettable. I deem it worthy of printing up, binding and putting on my shelf of fanfictions that I need to read over and over again. Trust me, it's not a big shelf, and I don't have much money. Now I've said that, I'll point out that i don't mean to insult you or offend you by printing it up like that. I mean to complement you. This story is epic, even if it's not momentous. It fluctuates and stills and holds in ways that most stories simply cant. I'll get back to the complements in a moment though. I just think I need to clarify that in printing up a copy of this story I also print up a page of details about where I got it from. If this is a problem go ahead a tell me. I respect that this is your property even if you didn't create the characters (not even the idea of Saki though you used her was an amazing flare).
Anyway. This story. Angst riden, sad, desperate - it made me smile. It made me feel warm inside and giddy and I was just proud ot have had the chance to read it. It's all words, adjetives whatever, but I mean each one. I'm a sucker for words I don't write what I don't mean. Your story was brilliant. And at the end of the story (this probably includes the epilogue which you haven't posted yet so anyone reading who hasn't read it should just look away) made up for every little bit of angst throughout the rest of it.
I'll admit to being a perv and tell you that you write sex scenes wonderfully. I don't want to really say that because without the rest of hte stories I don't htink those scenes would be anything near as spectacular as they are. But the main reason I'm telling you this is because you built up the meeting with Sasuke and Naruto (in part 8) with such skill and patients that that scene alone was the BEST sex scene I've ever read between Naruto and Sasuke. It was perfect and it was THEM not some stupid brats interpretation of them. It was them. Yes the Saki scenes where as welll... and I love the original Saki-chan stories and consider them also excellent. But your work... it's just blown everything out of the water. Because you made Sasuke crumble, you made him recreate himself find balance and accept things he just could before. You made him soften without stealing from him, and you made him soften without compromising the character of Uchiha Sasuke (my luck will be that I spelt his name wrong there). So that's it. The original Saki stories where great. But you finished them, you made an ending, a real plusable ending (as far as the Naruto universe goes.. Kyuubi and giant snakes and all).
I can't even give you constructive criticism. I'm trying depersatly to find something wrong with what I read so I can help you fix it. But I can not think of anything. So please forgive this fangirl worship (that means I'm now your fan and I'm worship you) and accept that I love this work of fiction and admire you greatly for having the forebarance and skill to write it down.
I am at the end of my rant and wish you luck in your next endevours. Please continue to write (I don't care what), as it would be a waste to have such a skill forgotten or ignored. Best of luck (yeah I said that already) and... yeah. Just good luck and thanks for the story.
Kimra
schedule
October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this made my day. literally. there were no mistakes or spelling errors and the whole thing was... it was. haha speechless much? congratulations for the nomination. can't wait for the epilogue. :D
schedule
October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yay!! i loved this fic sooooooo much!!! i wish it could just go on forever! i really do! i'm so glad you got nominated at tonfa! when i saw that the story h ad gotten nominated about three four days back i was soo happy! i hope you win! gosh....post more....just write a sequel or something. normally i love it when good stories just end well, but this makes me sad because it's this story! i loved naruto in this, really. you got him down pat. the emotions were really good cos it got the reader so completely into it!! i love yyou!!
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I stop drooling and crying. Damn you! That is NOT a sexy combination. I drool because HOLY DAMN was your lemon just smokin' and crying out of joy and frustration and happiness and a whole slew of other reasons. Really though, I loved this fic through and through. Congrats on the TONFA! It is wonderful to hear that you were nominated. I am also really happy to hear that there is an epilogue. REALLY HAPPY.
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This was hands down the BEST fanfiction I've read this year... and perhaps 1 of the 3 best Naruto fanfiction stories I've EVER read! I'm not going to bother with a long critique as there are only so many ways to say that "dude, this story kicks ass" without sounding like a pretentious twit.
Ironically, while I downright worship Asuka Kureru's writing, her Lace and Strawberries fic was my least fave--especially chapters 2 and 3. Naruto talking like a pimp daddy, and words/phrases like "Yeah, baby... pet, honey..." squick me out, dunno why, but it creeps me like nobody's business. Nevertheless, in this fic Naruto-with-Saki speak worked... it didn't come off sounding like sleazy greasy yucky squickiness ^_^;;
I LOVE the way you brought Sasuke back. FINALLY, another fic with a crowd-pleasing ending which isn't hammer-forced to be so. I hate happy endings which don't make sense, and I double-loathe angsty/death-laden endings just to spite the readers. I also like the way you leave the ending open to the reader's imagination... closure without closure. I can't wait to read the epilogue, although... I agree, the fic ends well at chapter 8.
You are a golden writer. If you never write again, you'll do the world a great disservice.
Ironically, while I downright worship Asuka Kureru's writing, her Lace and Strawberries fic was my least fave--especially chapters 2 and 3. Naruto talking like a pimp daddy, and words/phrases like "Yeah, baby... pet, honey..." squick me out, dunno why, but it creeps me like nobody's business. Nevertheless, in this fic Naruto-with-Saki speak worked... it didn't come off sounding like sleazy greasy yucky squickiness ^_^;;
I LOVE the way you brought Sasuke back. FINALLY, another fic with a crowd-pleasing ending which isn't hammer-forced to be so. I hate happy endings which don't make sense, and I double-loathe angsty/death-laden endings just to spite the readers. I also like the way you leave the ending open to the reader's imagination... closure without closure. I can't wait to read the epilogue, although... I agree, the fic ends well at chapter 8.
You are a golden writer. If you never write again, you'll do the world a great disservice.
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
...Wow. That was amazing. And hot. And delicious. AND YES!!! I'm so glad that they kinda got it worked out but at the same time, sad that it's over. I know there's an epilogue but I hope you'll continue to write beyond that. <3
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
oh we get a happy ending! im so glad. i loved the confusion in this story. not that the story is confusing, but the confusion of the characters regarding what they should say, do and who they should be. wonderful selfsearching story. adored it. im intrigued to know how sasuke will be ableto fit in the village now that saki is gone... will he be able to? will it be too much forhim to handle to become sasuke the traitor in the eyes of the villagers. and how will everyone react to the change? post soon!
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
its... over
._.
wow
its... over? and its... done? and... somehow... even through all that angst, it somehow, for a not so logical, but still understandable, reason, ended happily ever after like... happily ever after that even makes me want to cry, like.
Which I dont like
because fanfictions dont make you cry
or do they?
well
everything must have a first, a beginning, right?
Ill have to go buy tissues after this
._.
wow
its... over? and its... done? and... somehow... even through all that angst, it somehow, for a not so logical, but still understandable, reason, ended happily ever after like... happily ever after that even makes me want to cry, like.
Which I dont like
because fanfictions dont make you cry
or do they?
well
everything must have a first, a beginning, right?
Ill have to go buy tissues after this
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October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love you
You actually wrote a happy ending!
The whole story was great and I loved every chapter of it, even when I got depressed while reading it.
I can't wait for the epilogue
Again awesome story and great end!
I'll be sure to look for more of your works!!
Ja ne!
Anna
You actually wrote a happy ending!
The whole story was great and I loved every chapter of it, even when I got depressed while reading it.
I can't wait for the epilogue
Again awesome story and great end!
I'll be sure to look for more of your works!!
Ja ne!
Anna