rate_review Reviews

Great first chapter hook. Would love to read more. If you have an update list, please include me!

It's me again. Ok, I commend you for wanting to turn out chapters quickly for the readers, but don't push yourself. If you do, it will not be what you want and the readers will be disappointed. Just do it at your own pace.

Also, I would suggest that you get yourself a beta reader. They can help you with your weak points, and you can bounce ideas off of them, which will help you look at your writing in a way that you may not have been able to before.

You can post a request for a beta in the beta section, or if you get stuck, email me at bjpriest@hotmail.com and we can set something up.

Good luck and keep writing

Ruby Lips

Not bad, not bad. It sounds like it may get interesting.

But there is also something that you really need to fix.

Spelling errors in the title of the story and in the description make people really hesitant to read. I myself entered this fic expecting horrible grammer and bad spelling, and instead found a fic that is much better than the title or description could imply. I would suggest you fix this, and having done so, this fic will benefit from more readers and more reviews.

Good luck and keep writing

Ruby Lips

this has a nice beginning, i hope you update soon ^__^

this has a nice beginning, i hope you update soon ^__^

I think it has really great potential so far! really hope you continue, it seems like it will be a really nice story.
mmmm Kakairu