rate_review Reviews

Oh...I like this...perticularly the last scene with Ino and Shikamaru. Cupcakes for you!

This didn't look promising when I first stumbled across it but after reading more of your work on livejournal, I've come to find that everything you write is wonderful- the language, the dialogue, the subtle sexuality and interplay- all fantastic.

Im STILL waiting for you to update this!!


oh PLEASE!!

ahhh you updated!


i have to say this chapter was MUCH better!

i liked seeing your more mature writing style in this its obvious that you have been practicing with all your other pieces

soo keep up the good work and i look forward to the next chapter!

i like the concept of this story and i think as far as imagery goes you are doing very well. But each chapter you start out all right but you rush it the closer you get to then end, like you get tired so you just end it as quickly as possible. So let me guess you are writing each chapter all at once and after maybe the first two hour you get tired and just rush right through hopng to set up the next scene?
Unfortunatly it shows in the chapter and makes it feel rushed like the story is water slipping through your fingers. My sugegstion is if you can only write a story in one push then set aside a couple hours and really do it right. Other wise just do each chapter in segments, this will usually make your chapters longer which readers do like.

But please keep writing i really wanna see where you go with this story and i want to watch it develop
thank you and happy writing
kri chan

I love this, my best friend is a professional dancer, are you continuing??? Please, please do.

Very very nice -- no strong smut but lots of great description.

An excellent read, keep up the good work.