rate_review Reviews

I have to admit that your fanfic is a real piece of work...i actually felt compelled to call up an old girl friend during the duration of those chapters!! I haven't read a fanfic quite like this. The only piece of advice I can think of is to be a little less blunt. Remember your most passionate moments and try to incorporate that in those scenes. Remember the look in the other's eyes, the closeness, the hesitation, the very feeling of their touch. You have come close, but I have a feeling you can due better. If it takes longer to put a chapter out, then so be it. Readers will be more than happy when its worth their time in waiting. I have no idea if you are a woman or man. But, when describing an other sexes feelings, call up a friend to bullshit with. With that being said, i can't wait until your next couple of chapters. Goodnight

Cool story, definitely one of the more unusual writing styles I've seen. A few mistakes here and there, mostly grammatical, haven't really seen any spelling mistakes. Anyway, hope to read another installment soon.

love the story and i can't wait for the next one to come out

An amazing Story

Please Continue writing

what you have here is the makings of a good story. don't let what anyone say put you off from finishing it. waitin' for the next chapters hopee you don't let this die..... that would suck.

not bad keep it up good plot

Hey Pat squared I love the story so far but in the beginning I kinda got lost and when you switch from past to present without warning I had to re-read it a few times and made sure I would understand how you was writing.. I hope you keep up the good work and write more of this story and drop a line when you update at JTB8834@aol.com

Just read all the chapters that you have written so far & I like where this story line is going. Normally I am a NarutoXHinata pairing type of person, but I do like how you have done it with SakuraXNaruto. I also like how you have any of Naruto's descendents are vessels as well. I like it and please continue writing on this story.

nice so far, but one thing you should be aware of is that you always refer to naruto's little friends as a septer, that kind of makes the story a little less entertaining, try using other slang terms, there are millions, from stick to wand to cookoo bird, same applies to the female anatomy

Nice premise. Just you have departed somewhat away from the Naruto storyline. Read your litterary license note so you're forgiven as long as you create a good story. I see lots of potential for multiple lemons. Give me lemon so I can...

You got your male solo, female solo, and some voyerism. Where is the rest. You promise us a lot and I want to see you deliver. More details on your lemons. Make it vivid. Make it wild. Hurry up and update!