rate_review Reviews

Chapter 56: God, this guy is despicable. Ren, do everything in your power to get Naruto and Sasuke okay! . . . I liked the part when Orochimaru growled at Ren. . . . This story had BETTER turn out good. In my opinion, sad endings cancel out all worth in a story. (*growl*) Of course, there’s nothing I can do about it either way, but . . .
You tell ‘im, Kyuubi. I’m so totally with you. (So long as you hold to that and don’t hurt Naruto or Sasuke in the process.) . . . HAH! Sucker! >:D
Kyuubi’s POV was interesting. . . . You gotta convince Naruto how to fix this with the new bonds, Kyuubi.
NOOOOOO!!!!! >:(

Chapter 57: I like this interaction between Kyuubi and Naruto. Come on, you guys, you can make it!
. . . What? His eyes? . . . . . . . . . No. No. No. NO. NO! Please get them back!! GET THEM BACK!!!!!!!!! . . . Really, Togimeishu? Maybe Sasuke won’t care anymore. Unless it’s for Naruto’s sake. But I’m hoping Sasuke can shove some more backbone into Togimeishu (not that he doesn’t have one); he needs balls of steel to get through this. I like his actions to get himself and Sasuke out of there. . . . Huh, he can use Shadow Clones?
. . . He still has his eyes? It’s just the Sharingan that’s gone? . . . Okay, that’s a little better than I thought. It’s a step, at least. . . . Oh. They’re Naruto’s eyes. Romantically I like it (so long as they each get their own eyes back in the end). It’s still better than nothing. . . . Neat ending, but I’m hoping for things to get better. I’m still not too happy.

Chapter 58: Huh? Who found him?
I like the interaction between Hiroki and Sasuke. . . . Huh, that was funny. When Hiroki said, “And when we get him back, we can be a family, right?” I immediately said, “I hope so.” Then I continued reading and found Sasuke saying the exact same thing. Huh. . . . Oh. God. You made the kid say those dreaded English words. I’ll forgive it if it’s just his personality, though.
I like Sai calling out the distances. That’s clever. . . . Alright, Sai’s doing the right thing. It’s just the wrong person. . . . I like the effect of Sasuke showing them Naruto’s eyes. And I like that bit in parenthesis. . . . Hiroki’s so cute.
I like that image of Tsunade looking out the window. That’d be a great drawing. . . . Wuh-oh! Good ending.

Chapter 59: I like the paragraph about how the Akatsuki leader led to the evil Itachi. . . . Hm, that makes sense, “There had been no future for him in the Leaf,” even without slaughtering the clan.
Nice save, Sasuke. . . . “The little leech?” Do I hear some affection in that? . . . Heh, nice repetitions of “Start from the beginning.” . . . Heh, I like that part: “I am an Uchiha.” . . . I like Sasuke’s story. It’s neat hearing it and not just witnessing it. . . . Interesting effect of the Sharingan trying to activate. . . . I like the interaction between Sasuke and Tsunade for this whole scene.
Heheh, Kakashi talking to Akamaru. . . . Hee hee, calling Sasuke a “wayward student.” I like that.
Oh, interesting. Sakura sees Sasuke. . . . “Those eyes did not belong in that face.” Couldn’t put it better myself. . . . I don’t blame Sakura for her confusion. . . . This is cool, this whole interaction between Sakura, Sasuke and Hiroki. (Hmm, Hiroki does seem to produce interesting interactions, doesn’t he?) . . . Great ending. I don’t know what else to say about it. It’s just . . . great.

Chapter 60: To your AN: You sure were right about the need for some levity. Trust me, though, I stand by what I said before completely, but my head’s a little clearer now. Don’t think I won’t be angry if this doesn’t turn out okay, though; the levity has to be “worth it.”
Yeah, that’s what you think, Orochimaru (I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I’m trying to keep faith).
Ohhh, good luck, Togimeishu, I’ve got my toes crossed (because I can’t type with my fingers crossed). . . . Ooh, wow, nice effect on Orochimaru’s daughter.
Hee hee, I like everyone’s comments around the fire, heh, and Hinata’s elbow. . . . Huh??? What do all these words mean?? “Kaa-san?” “Tou-san?” “Chichi?” . . . I like Kakashi’s and Sasuke’s quiet words, and Sakura’s private thoughts. Mm, and I like Akamaru. :heart: . . . Good line: “A surprised Sakura was not always a rational Sakura.” Got that right. . . . I like this conversation between the girls. And the one between the rest of them. Hee hee, “Prince Frigid.” Tenten reminds me of my cousin. Hee hee, Sai’s “Yyyeps.” . . . Oh, JEEZ. Sai drew a SKETCH of THEM--?! O.O XD . . . Hahaha! They’re all supplying synonyms. XD . . . Nice move, Lee. Go save him, Tenten.

GAAAAH! I started to read this on FF, then I noticed you had an AFF. I was like w00t w00t! AND I READ ALL 73 CHAPTER IN ONE DAY!!!! >><< I LOVED THE WHOLE STORY!!!!!!!! :)

Chapter 51: Oh, clever line: “almost like a cat nuzzling against him, scent-marking him.” I’ve heard versions of that idea, but I like this way. . . . Heheh, I like the reoccurring joke about the container with the lube in it. ^^ (. . . Evidently, “ero-sennin” was a boyscout once. ^^) . . . Heheh, I like Naruto’s threat. ^^ . . . Oh god, STOP REMINDING ME, YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY, DAMMIT!! T_T . . . Oh, beautiful. . . . Aw man, that was sweet. But the last line of the scene makes me a little sad: “If it had been important, Naruto was sure his lover would mention it to him again tomorrow.” Dammit, it IS important! God, I hope Sasuke says it again at a good time! Oh, and PLEASE let this not be their last moment together alive; I want them to live happily ever after! T_T T_T T_T
YESSSSS!!! You MUST LIVE, Sasuke!! THANK YOU! . . . That’s neat, what Shino’s telling Sasuke here. . . . Aw, hey, Sasuke didn’t get around to training Naruto to use a sword? Bummer, that would’ve been cool. I demand scenes of that later! (If not in this story, then in a sidestory.)
This is an interesting paragraph, about Sasuke hating yet admiring his brother, and how if he managed to succeed in killing him, then everything insofar would have been worth it. That’s a remaining contrast to what he was thinking the night before and earlier this morning; the Sasuke of those times might have thought that NOTHING was worth nearly killing Naruto. But I could be wrong; maybe it was worth it to find out how close they are. . . . I like the differences in Sasuke and Naruto when it comes to negative emotions, how it boosts one and hinders the other. . . . I like Naruto’s last thoughts in this scene.
I like Sasuke’s last note to Naruto.
Something that you do in this story: You mention the Sharingan spinning. Normally, I don’t like to picture that; I like them holding still, unless they’re developing a new mark in them. But I’m okay with it in your story.

Chapter 52: I approve of your paranoia about getting the story perfect ! :)
Hm, I think Kisame’s initial line was a little cheesy (sorry); the content is probably okay, it’s just the way it was worded (again, sorry). . . . “Everything seemed to fall silent in the spring afternoon.” Good. I hear that in other fanfictions sometimes, but you set it up really well. . . . Nice dilemma Naruto has with Kisame before the POV switches to the Uchiha fight. But I’m a little confused about something. I thought that once the sword grazes you, you can’t do jutsu for a while, not just the current one. . . . I thought Itachi’s and Sasuke’s conversation was a little cheesy (sorry!), but it led up to the part about “Because that will be the price you pay here today,” and so on. I liked it from there on. . . . I’m in a little dilemma about Itachi’s warning to Sasuke: I like it, but at the same time I’m having a hard time seeing/hearing him saying/doing that. . . . I like the blade’s pain. . . . Okay, that ending was interesting!
Crap, don’t get out! (!!!) Naruto, WAKE UP! . . . Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!! Now I’m mad! Shino, you have no idea how much I’m counting on you right now. Please, please, PLEASE someone save both Naruto and Sasuke!

Chapter 53: I like your insight on Orochimaru’s half-picture.
Alright, guys, you said it! (Maybe Hiroki will be able to help.)
Good, kid, don’t follow that bit of advice. X) . . . I like Kiba’s comment on arriving to the battle site. . . . Smooth one, Sai. He honestly can’t shut up, can he? :) . . . I like Kiba coaxing Akamaru, that was cute. . . . Oh, that was good. Sai knows that “F***” can mean either “sex” or an exclamation of “this is really bad.” So he thought “snog” would work the same way. Clever. . . . I also like the paragraph about Sai’s instincts. . . . I like Akamaru’s interaction with Hiroki.
Oh man, I was RIGHT earlier: Orochimaru had been getting used to the Kyuubi. . . . He’s so power-hungry, he’s partially blind.
I like the part about Kyoshiro’s problems. I thought earlier when the village was attacked while Naruto was away, “What timing.” Evidently, so did Kyoshiro; I didn’t expect that. . . . Interesting new development; who is this “she?” . . . And we hear a mention of Juugo! Cool! . . . I’m really curious about who “she” is.
You little afterward makes me curious about . . . what’s his name, Togimeishu. I wonder who he is.

Chapter 54: I liked the bit when Orochimaru scared the shinobi with his stare. Very dramatic. . . . Yup, Naruto was right: Kyoshiro is a serious booty-kisser. . . . Oh, jeez, Ren, watch out! . . . Hm? That’s interesting. Lingering effects from the Kyuubi? Trauma? Hmm. Also, does Orochimaru know that Kabuto is dead? . . . Oh man, if you’re going to try anything risky, please succeed, Togimeishu. . . . Oh yeah! I forgot what the artist’s name was! Huh! Small world! . . . Oh shit, seminal samples? Damn. . . . (?!) Orochimaru had kids?! The heck! By who?? . . . She sounds kind of tormented. I hope someone can save her.
“Shit flowed downhill.” That’s good. ^_^ . . . “He could feel the teenage hormones swimming through his bloodstream . . .” I like that bit too. It’s kind of an unusual idea. I kinda took it for granted when Orochimaru moved into a new body. It never occurred to me that there would be effects from the age of the body, but it makes total sense. . . . Yup, and the language creeps back in, too. But . . . those body parts are NOT YOURS, Orochimaru! They are NARUTO’S! NOT yours, whether you reside in the body or not! Graarrr!! >:( . . . I like how he’s not used to the teenage body and how emotions leak in with the physicality. His fit made total sense; he’s very confused about the effects the Kyuubi had on him, and now that he’s physically in a teenage body--a body that belongs to someone who’s wrapped up in an intimate love affair--his emotions are going out of control. . . . Once again, I like the scared ninja. . . . And his mood gets lighter--mood swing, yup.
(*sigh*) On finishing this chapter . . . I like it, it’s excellent material to read, but this had BETTER end happy! I’m going to be FURIOUS if it doesn’t!!