rate_review Reviews

I read it...lol, no really I've been keeping up with the updates, its different and I like it that way. REALLY COOL STORY!!! Good job and update soon!! ;o)

AHHH!! I LOVE IT!!!

It's so...graphical, in a poetic way...*__*!! The emotions are so vivid that I can really imagine the whole thing as a...moving picture.

*__* reeally lovely. I want moreee~~ D8!!

Naruto's thoughts are very lucid despite all the pain that he is going through and I think the moment he decides it is time for him to put his plan in action is when it is Sasuke's real soul that looks down on him as he violates him again. I don't know if this is something that might come up in the actual RR or if it came up already, did Sasuke feel really guilty about the rape? I know it wasn't really *him* but Orochimaru inside his body but still, I think some of that might linger. I guess I must go and reread the original RR now (I have read that at least 3 times already, I love it so much!)

Also, intimacy between those two might be a little difficult at first for Naruto and Sasuke when they are together. I think Naruto will have to differentiate between Orochimaru and Sasuke despite the same body. I think probably Sasuke will be a little softer, much like Neji was (and will he ever find out who really was Naruto's first?). I have to admit I am a sucker for jealous Neji or Sasuke, those two would be very possessive of Naruto if they got with him. But then, now there is no real questions of first anyway because even if Naruto would not have slept willingly with Neji to train, the Orochimaru would have ripped it cruelly from him.

I really liked all the parts where Naruto activates the jutsu and when Naruto pulled Orochimaru out of Sasuke's body. How he went into the Kyuubi's cage where only *one* survives. Ohhh I hope it is painful >:) I also think that Kyuubi heard poor Naruto tell him not to heal his wounds. I wonder what the fox inside Naruto was thinking, what did he think about the physical abuse and the pleads of his vessel not to heal him as he needed his own blood and what happened to Orochimaru in the cage *evil grin*. Ohhh that would be so fun XD.

Little detail that liked that even when hysteria was taking Naruto over, he had the energy to feel modest as to their nakedness and lewd position. Only Naruto, thank you for keeping that part of him there.

*hugs* Thank you for this part, it makes me yearn for more but it also makes me yearn for an ending that keeps them together. It might not be a happy ending but an ending where at least, they love each other and that is knowledge enough.

I love your writing. I don't mind how long it took. Now, you can ask ANYTHING from me in written form or a doujinshi. I will give it toooo youuuuu. XD

Er, yes. Damn.

SAAASUUUUKEEEEE~
T_______________T

Okay. That will be the end of my useless comments. *brainded*

I'll have you know, this chapter knocked me right out of my chair. It’s a hazard, I tell you. Did you know fiction could make you sustain bodily injury? =) Actually, the chair fell right to pieces, but what are you going to do? Am I really that fat?

All exercise resolutions aside, this really was a lovely chapter. Ambiguous. I am particularly taken with the way in which you portray the curious conundrum of the pleasure/pain dichotomy. I’m a fairly new face to the world of fanfiction and the subsequent porn that ensues, but what I have read seems to read a bit like… well, if the character wants the sex, then it’s mostly about the pleasure, if not, than the author focuses on the pain. Here’s an interesting snippet where both scenarios coincide. You’ve very convincingly painted the intersection of pain and pleasure that would likely supercede such a situation. The juxtaposition of words like “terrible and pleasurable,” and the pleas “hold me, break me, bleed me bare and dry,” play no small part in the composition of an ambiguous dyad.

I also think, in conjunction with many poets before you, you’ve managed to make the ‘illicit’ ‘classy’. Though the girly porn one usually stumbles across in circles like this certainly serves a useful purpose, (or so says my undergrad thesis) I wouldn’t classify this as outright porn. Though this isn’t nearly as encoded as, for example, “Crimson is the slow smolder of the cigar end I hold,” (Carl Sandburg, I believe) it retains a sense of the erotic in the suggestion. Need I say something about ambiguity for the third time?

Beautiful, and strangely confusing, with the Sasu-oroness, but it's to be expected, eh? I had to re-read a couple of parts (to make sure I was understanding right), but the general feel of this chapter is very gossamer,ethereal. I like it a lot!

SIGH, we all know who pays the price when Sasuke sleeps inside Orochimaru. I really like what you did in this chapter, the mixed emotions Sasuke feels as he sees Naruto and as Orochimaru takes him, he can feel and yet, there is detachment. The morbid fascination that Naruto is truly his. I think Naruto had to remind himself of his goal as Orochimaru takes him, I guess you can say I REALLY want to see Naruto's side of this story.

I appreciated the lord's conversation and their role in this chapter. The fact that Konoha serves the Lords of Fire country is always intriguing to me, they are so absent and yet the village is so strong and independent. But these guys are traitors and the moment *they* have no power to control the village, they will turn against the Hokage, whether Tsunade or Oroshimaru, they would just find someone who seems strong enough to defeat either of them. Too bad that the plan failed because the most unlikely person defeated Orochimaru and did not unseat Tsunade from power. No wonder the lords were so pissed off when they saw Sasuke again after the rescue and were so desperate to get rid of him, marry him off, take his eyes so he would never remember their betrayal (oh but did he? I think some memories stayed and some didn't). See, I told you the rewrites gave a much better sense of the plot and the story. I like it a lot.

I think I am going to enjoy the moment Naruto does the sutra to Orochimaru and see what Sasuke feels at that moment. Can't wait.

Much love too yoouuuuuuuu

T_T I love it. I never got around to comment on chapter 2 though...*guilty* so here's my comment. :)

For chapter 2...*___* I love all the imagery there...and Neji's comments when he's 'teaching' Naruto. I really, really love how you write Naruto's point of view. *loooves*

As for this chapter...T_T poor Naruto. And poor Sasuke as well. Naruto has to endure everything until he can execute his plan...while Sasuke's being towed for the ride without his consent. Then again, that's what happened when you let Orochimaru take over your body, stupid Sasuke. =_= And seriously, I love Sasuke's point of view of the story very much. Cause it gives a sense of...drifting and detachment...like you are subconsciously awake and you can see and hear everything around you, but you can't do anything too...*___* It's great and it's really pretty.

:) I'm looking forward to the next chapter~! ^__^

*points* grimly beautiful =) I tend to um, nitpick... Yes, I remember this chapter.
When I come across your work, I often read at least parts of it out loud. Your words are pretty on my tongue, prettier on yours, I assume even if I get the inflections wrong.

That being said, the line, Sasuke, the serpent sings is bloody brilliant. Such slippery words from the mouth of the snake. Beautiful. I'm admittedly a big fan of alliterations and consonances. =)

I also like some of the random imagery... the lines that cuts deep and slides over / like slippery white / film that eats... yeah, pretty. (Though I must admit I don't get a very clear image of the whole poem... just something foggy, black, and searing white. I'm OK with that, if that was your intention) um, I like the image of the chapel of Sasuke's mind. I see stained glass eyes. makes me wonder whose mind is the cathedral of dolls and marionettes, but I believe I've commented on that before. the line Laughter tightens in my mind gives me a migraine just thinking about it. I can just imagine Sasuke cowering in the closet of his mind, trying to drown out Naruto the sun. (or moon) I also enjoyed the comment collage of time.

Um yeah, k... so I think I'm done for this mornin'. *toddles off to study kanji*

I love you and want you and cry. Yes. Did I comment on the previous chapter? No? Okay, I was too busy crying and wanted to know more.

*such a masochist, wtf*

The pain. The pain, it's so...imbued in both of their narratives, it's so deep and cutting and yet still so dull until Orochimaru rapes Naruto again and then the wound just bursts again and the pain is sharp and fresh and ohgod Naruto. *pets him and nurses him all better and takes him away from Orochimaru* And Sasuke. The way he can't recognise Naruto is just heartbreaking. ;____; Or can he? I don't know. I'm confused.

Meanwhile, I still maintain that you do a remarkably realistic Orochimaru. :3