rate_review Reviews

h-ok, so. This is me not studying for finals... *sigh*
You've thoroughly sated my ADD nature =) though I pray some of the pretty edited imagery will work its way back into your story.
so yeah, sinewy=good word. I like his quiet torment "in shame (or ecstasy?)" Though that particular torture comes out much better in the last poem, and it the next chapter. Comparing Orochimaru's tongue to a slab of lamb is disgusting. I can almost feel it on me... *shudders* Of course I'm deathly afraid of spit. Anyway, it is extremely effective. And lamb is the perfect choice, I think. It carries such heavy connotations. (my mum and her family calls me 'mein lämmchen' (instead of mein liebchen?) or however you spell that, and that creeps me out a little. err, I don't eat lamb, you know. ) "Making nightmares of love" is very pretty. I can see their distorted shadows undulating in the light of the flickering flame. Like Naruto's watching a sick slasher movie--that it isn't happening to him. It's oddly erotic. And when his eyes return to the face of his tormentor, he finds himself broken. I likey alone alone alone. A manta in his head, I wonder.

Damn it, I want to cry...I want to kick Orochi away from Naruto and run as fast as my legs can carry. I was torn between disgust and fascination at Orochimaru's behavior, like the sensuality was there but it was disgusting that even the words felt like violation. I was thinking that while Naruto was behaving like he had instructed, he could not help the real horror, fear and anger to come through, controlled but the sadness,damn it, that undid me.

Kabuto *wants to kick him*, how dare he touch my poor Naru-chan like that! I like how his characterization came through, false tenderness with a coldness of steel, a good liar, charming like the sneake he serves.

The last part was hard to read, my poor Naruto. In a way, the pain was all worth it, right?

*huggles* You are good...now to the next part.

I love this story! It is well written, if not a little confusing. It flows like water, and to me the taste in my mouth after I read it is that of fine candy or something else as sweet. Don't become discouraged by any bad review you may get. This is one story you should definately finish.

You know I love you right...because there is nothing like thinking about Orochimaru taking Sasuke's body after reading ep. 309...sigh.
But I love this perspective of the trapped soul and the snake that has his prey and it is ready to eat it. Now to read the much awaited part on Naruto *squees like the fangirl she is*

I like this chappie, even though it's short. :) It's short because you're switching PoVs with each chapter, yes?

Ah, poor, tragic Sasuke...I really don't think he knew what he was getting into when he abandoned Konoha.

I'm glad they're together now! :) More chapters soon, I hope. :)

You know, I am glad you are posting the rewrites for this story because I really like it. I think I like some of the extra scenes, particularly the interactions between Naruto and his teachers. I don't know why but i like his relationship with Jiraiya the best, I wonder if it is because Naruto will attempt to do the one thing that he could not, and that must motivate to help the boy (and torture him with the Heart Sutra) but also to maybe some measure of sadness.

But I think I have to say that my favorite scene was between Naruto and Neji. Maybe because there are two sides of Neji here that I appreciate. The Anbu captain that is a bit upset that there is an addition to the team he did not expect which can actually kill them all. There is also an undercurrent of possession to me at least in his anger *why so soon, can you stay a little longer with me*. I would like to think that when they had sex, when Neji said "Let me pretend" what was not added was "to be Sasuke" and his hesitancy came from having someone that wasn't his or that wanted him that way (because Naruto is too obsessed with Sasuke to notice anyone else). Maybe he did want Naruto just not in those circumstances. I actually felt bad for Naruto as he wondered if Neji was thinking of him too.

Maybe I am reading too much in it given how much I actually like the NejiNaru pairing but the sense of regret and passed opportunities hang in the air.

Umm sorry, sometimes I get carried away with things *sweatdrop*

wah! how did I miss chapter 1? *blames it on election day*
anyway, I am adoring your rewrite. still a tad vague, although I assume its on purpose, for either our own interpretations, or for your later use. I like vague, though. It leaves room for me to over analyze.
I really enjoyed the interaction between Neji and Naruto. It leaves my heart breaking.
"...it's the last I see of him..." I wonder who it is, that avoids the other. just on this mission or in Konoha as well. Or perhaps he never sees the man intimately again, and not just sex because we all know that Naruto has always been completely Sasuke's. Even the smoke kunoichi knows. And a disservice to whom, I wonder. might I assume your use of italics is not quite accidental? I'm over analyizing, again. see, I told you.
hm... I always saw Jiraiya as more of a Shinto lackey, not quite the type to memorize sutras. I'll buy it, though, besides, the scene is truly beautiful.
Your work is lovely. Thanks for sharing. =)

I love, love, love this story. Sasuke is so insane. There are so few (good) stories where Sasuke is...out of his mind. XD;;

Can't wait 'till Naruto gets in this story!

...Kabuto and Oro are so CREEPY. Really. Shiver-worthy.

Love the poetry, the ambiguity works here...since Sasuke's isn't in his mind completely...I like the fractured look on things. Can't wait to see the rest! :)

Oh, wow. I put this off to read another day because I was tired when it first came out, but I like it.

The style is abstract, and the intentional (or so I assume) uncapitalizations are such a niiice touch! Also, the interaction between Sasuke and Orochimaru--I'd never imagined Sasuke having consciousness of whats going on after being taken over. Its a different and interesting idea.

I'll be looking forward to the next bit!

This is exceptional! O.O I can't wait for more!!