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September 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Let me tell you this: it was hot! Although the way Naruto acts is a little weird, you kind of make him sound like sakura... but that is only my opinion... I really liked the lemon!
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September 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ah, I loved it!
It was really good!!!! XD
You can never go wrong with Sasuke fucking Naruto on the couch.
I can't to read more one shots from you!
*much love* C-2006
It was really good!!!! XD
You can never go wrong with Sasuke fucking Naruto on the couch.
I can't to read more one shots from you!
*much love* C-2006
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August 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey! I LOVED this! I like Ita/Naru better but Sasu/Naru's good too! I would say that it ended a little too abruptly and we don't know why that guy spiked his drink but hey - hot sex - who cares?
2 suggestions though? I think it would be funny if it was Jairya or Kakashi who spiked the drink and were watching outside the window - you know perverts.
Also there is that one really long paragraph you have? It would be easier to read if you broke it up a bit...
But other than that? A very smexy hot lemon!
2 suggestions though? I think it would be funny if it was Jairya or Kakashi who spiked the drink and were watching outside the window - you know perverts.
Also there is that one really long paragraph you have? It would be easier to read if you broke it up a bit...
But other than that? A very smexy hot lemon!
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August 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ack!(grabs tissues and hold them to nose) Daaamn that was hot. I need ice. This was just really really good and yummy. I've actually read this before today but that day I was unable to review, something was wrong with the comp.
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May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Naruto giggles too much. I like your description but it lacked the emotion of relationship for me.
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May 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
One word.....HAWT!! :D
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March 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow! That was awesome!
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January 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
As far as one-shot smuts go, this one wasn't so bad. Naruto seemed too girly sometimes, and submitted too easily into Sasuke. Normally I think Naruto would be the type of person to at least put up some kind of front. However, this was the Naruto you interpreted, and except for the giggles here and there, it was acceptable.
And, just for the sake of it, I'll have to say it got me rather hot and flustered. xD
- Pocky
And, just for the sake of it, I'll have to say it got me rather hot and flustered. xD
- Pocky
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January 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice...lol. I always love SauNaru or NaruSasu, though I tend to make Naruto seme when paired with others, actually I'm to the point where I don't even want to give them titles of uke or seme, and just have them go all out, taking turns, you know? But that's just me.
Good smutty stuff!
Good smutty stuff!
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January 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It's actually very good. There were a couple of grammar and spelling errors but those were okay. As for the first to the last paragraph on your story, it could have been broken up to make it into two paragraphs since it was very long but still it wouldn't really affect the story at all. Just making a couple of suggestions but it's up to you. Good job.