rate_review Reviews

Sasuke is by far the sluttiest nine year old in inexistance.

There are a few words missing and grammatical errors, but other than that it was pretty good. Keep up the lovely work. I adore your stories.

This is the best Itachi/Sasuke story I have ever read!!! Please I'm begging you don't make this a one shot, please please please please please please make this into a story!

I really like this, and ItaSasu (I'm a HUGE Uchihacest fan), which is why I'm going to give you a really critical review. XD; I hope you don't mind, I just think that with a few corrections, this could be a really good story.

First of all, you have a few tense issues. Those are really no big deal, though, because they can easily be fixed by a good beta. I'd suggest getting one just to give the story a read-over, if you haven't already. If you have, maybe ask them to look specifically for tense errors.

Next, in the beginning, you go into detail about how Sasuke has problems with customers hitting on him. Then, later, you talk about how he longs to have someone 'finally' be attracted to him. That's a bit of a contradiction, and it really sort of took away from the story. I'd suggest finding some way to balance those two concepts, maybe by explaining that he longs for someone to have REAL feelings for him, instead of just lust?

Finally, when Sasuke and Itachi first meet, Itachi refers to Sasuke by his name. Then, later, Itachi asks Sasuke what his name is. This could be explained by Itachi simply having forgotten Sasuke's name, but it's a bit awkward unless you actually STATE that Itachi has apparently forgotten it. Besides that, Itachi doesn't seem the type to forget much, anyway. I don't know, the easiest way to fix it would probably be to take out the part where Itachi calls Sasuke by his name, and simply have him call Sasuke by something else.

Other than those things, however... I REALLY liked this. The idea was fairly original, and I liked the way both characters were portrayed. The sex scene was HOT, and my only complaint there is that a boy as young as Sasuke would actually have a dry orgasm. But I LOVED the ending. I was worried that they weren't actually brothers in this, but then the ending was just... wow. I'd really love the see this continued. I can't wait to see how their mother handles things, what happens with Sasuke and Itachi, etc. Please continue, I'll be looking forward to more!

Ack! One more thing you might want to fix... (I feel really bad for not catching this the first time around. But, if it makes you feel any better, the fact that I caught it now means that I liked this story enough that I wanted to read it all over again XD). In the beginning, when you talk about the things Orochimaru has done to Sasuke, you mention that he's made Sasuke orgasm before. Then later, when Itachi and Sasuke are alone and Sasuke has become aroused, he says basically that he's never experienced an erection before. But he would have had to, for Orochimaru to have done what you say he has in the beginning. Really, from what I've noticed, it seems like you wrote the first part of this a while ago, and then later wrote the second part, maybe forgetting some of the things you'd written before. XD I've made that mistake myself. I hope this helps you improve you story, and I'm still enjoying it a lot. Keep writing!

OHH! That was..HEAVENLY..I loved how Itachi told Sasuke to *ride it*..can you make some more Itachi/Sasuke smut!..especially shota!

Holy cow, hotness. Yeah...>> I mean...Sex with little kids is bad. Anyways, awesome work and for some reason the end had me laughing rather loudly, earning the attention of everyone on my floor. They all liked the story too. WOnderful job. ^^

-jaw drop- Wow ... that was one of the best shoutas I've ever read o.o The ending was fantastic ... left me wanting more :) ItaSasu goodness ^^

OMG! it's so hot, i love it.
please continue this. i want more shota ItaSasu!

Oh man...that was awesome! But i feel so dirty for liking it! Keep up the excellent work!

Oh Em Gee.
Sasuke is the biggest little slut ever.
I must say, I LOVED the ending.
Awesome story, keep up the good work.