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April 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
your story is so cool. i love the silent-ish naruto. please tell me that this won't be narusaku...but even if it is, can you e-mail me when you update? if it don't show up, my e-mail is dustinschulmeier44@yahoo.com
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
good history
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May 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey I hope you are still writing this story and I hope you clear up the conversations some more... I would like to see an update for this story soon
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January 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hey this is kinda cool! can't believe i haven't read this before now. this naruto seems a bit more dark than usual? hmmm, can't wait to see what else you've got up your sleeve for this.
l8r!
l8r!
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November 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
umm...wow! I really don't know what to say! That was amazing! I mean the wording and character development alone is supurb, but the plot and general air of the whole story so far makes me feel, not like I want to read more but like I have to. Please keep writing I am really enjoying it ^^
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June 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It's absolutely gorgeous story. I love this. So please, write another chapter.
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April 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. I wouldn't mind reading some more of this. Update sometime, will you?
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April 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice story hope you make it more clear on what is happening around Naruto. I like how he changed like this but it takes away from who he is in the anime.. Please keep up with this story please I like the story of it so far
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April 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
very well written and explained. I personally like how you manipulated the story making naruto into a totally different person. I look forward to seeing much more of this story from you.
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April 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Constructive critisism: What. The. Fuck. I have read these four chapters over and over and I STILL don't understand most of what you're saying! You're moving at a much too fast of a pace, I mean, at one point you're going slow enough for me to understand what's going on, but then the next. ,_, this is the face I make when reading your work. You've got a really nice plot going on here. Your problem? You moving things by the chunks!
This is what I understand so far. Naruto is a sad and lonely boy. He discovers this hidden cave in the Hokage Momument which in turn somehow makes him find out about the Kyuubi. After that he goes to steal the forbidden scroll Mizuki told him to get and he learns 3 forbidden jutsus. After that he's in team 7 with Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.
They end up going to wave country...then all of a sudden you totally cut up very valuable chunks of information. I didn't know they had already encountered Zabuza or that they had encountered those other two stooges. I also didn't understand that whole thing with Kakashi, thank goodness that I already know that because of Zabuza, Kakashi was severly hurt. If I had just all of a sudden read this and I hadn't read the Naruto series I would have seriously been confused.
Then after that, you also forget to metion that the fox had offered to help Naruto with his training. And I don't understand the whole thing with him being able to FREELY be able to control the elements. You've turned this into Avatar: The Last Airbender, this is not longer the Naruto series. I mean, yea sure, you have the Naruto cast and they can control chakra and jutsus...you don't talk about chakra anything when it comes to Naruto. Only when it comes to Taijutsus do I know that, yea he's still a ninja and not a bender from the airbender series.
I seriously think you should redo this whole thing...who's your beta? Cuz I need to have a talk with them...
This is what I understand so far. Naruto is a sad and lonely boy. He discovers this hidden cave in the Hokage Momument which in turn somehow makes him find out about the Kyuubi. After that he goes to steal the forbidden scroll Mizuki told him to get and he learns 3 forbidden jutsus. After that he's in team 7 with Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.
They end up going to wave country...then all of a sudden you totally cut up very valuable chunks of information. I didn't know they had already encountered Zabuza or that they had encountered those other two stooges. I also didn't understand that whole thing with Kakashi, thank goodness that I already know that because of Zabuza, Kakashi was severly hurt. If I had just all of a sudden read this and I hadn't read the Naruto series I would have seriously been confused.
Then after that, you also forget to metion that the fox had offered to help Naruto with his training. And I don't understand the whole thing with him being able to FREELY be able to control the elements. You've turned this into Avatar: The Last Airbender, this is not longer the Naruto series. I mean, yea sure, you have the Naruto cast and they can control chakra and jutsus...you don't talk about chakra anything when it comes to Naruto. Only when it comes to Taijutsus do I know that, yea he's still a ninja and not a bender from the airbender series.
I seriously think you should redo this whole thing...who's your beta? Cuz I need to have a talk with them...