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January 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Poor Iruka T_T!
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December 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far. Hope the next chapter is up soon. :)
schedule
December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story. I can't wait to read the rest of this.
Tammy.
Tammy.
schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hi--I really like Kakashi and Iruka stories, but I couldn't get past paragraph three because I hate run-on sentences. I think I'd like this story a lot if you would use shorter sentences. I have a headache right now, so maybe I'm just more picky that usual, but the long sentences were driving me crazy. I love the idea of Kakashi asking to stay with Iruka, but please can you put in some periods? The basic grammar rule is each grammatical unit of a subject and verb needs to be linked to the next subject and verb by (1) comma plus coordinating conjunction {and but or nor for so yet} or (2) semi-colon {;} or (3) subordinate conjunction {because if although etc.}. More than 3 subject and verbs in one sentence is unusual in typical English prose. I'd love to read this is you cleaned up the grammar a bit.