rate_review Reviews

Well I must say that I am quite intrigued by your fan fiction. I really like how the point of view changes throughout the chapters; it really helps you understand all the characters better and the story as a whole. It gives the reader an omniscient feeling. Also, although the plot is not one hundred percent original, you have managed to breathe new life into it, creating new and interesting situations. I would also like to say thank you for not making all the characters immediately fall in love with each other. Not only is that completely unrealistic, but it often ends up taking away from a story rather than adding to it.
However, I did notice that on your page you mentioned that you were an English major and that we could expect fairly good writing from you. This is all good and well but if you are going to say that readers can expect to see good writing from you then I would think that this would encompass all aspects of good writing, particularly in regards to grammar. This is not to say that your grammatical skills are atrocious, but if you’re going to brag about being a good writer, then a demonstration of your complete skills would be in order.
Now I fear that I may have offended you, and that is not my intention. Rather I wanted to make you aware of a flaw in your writing that I am confident can be easily remedied if you re-read your chapters before posting them. Once again, I am sorry if I have offended you. That is not my intention, especially because I rather like this story, and would only enjoy seeing you improve your work to your utmost ability. My best wishes for you and your writing.


Dryad1789@hotmail.com

I take it you don't like Iruka that much...? Aw....he's so sweet and mother-henly.

Heh, this one had me laughing so many times. You write Kiba so well! I could just see his face as he spouted off the insults. And the interaction between Ita and Kis was top notch! Great job so far! Can't wait to see how this one continues.

oh come on! kakashi has to have silver hair!! it's kakashi! but i guess you can make it a platinum blonde kinda color so it's almost silver but not quite. oh, and naruto's name is uzumaki, if you'd care to change it. personally, i like the story too much to care ^___^

Love it! Can't wait to read more!

yay! new chapter!! ^_^ um... kakashi's hair could be silver... like, dyed or something, maybe. and, um, in sasuke's mind, naruto's name was misspelled. i wasn't sure if that was cause he's stupid, or you were having typos. you spelled it 'uzimacki' and it should be 'uzumaki'. i just thought i'd point it out, cause i wasn't sure what was going on. i can't wait to see more!! sasuke is so stupid and cocky and suave and hot and cold and frigid and an ass and-- to be honest, i could go on forever. please update soon!!~

Okay, every chapter I'm loving this story more!!! Sasuke teasing Naruto was just too cute!!.. hmm, poor Naruto though.. it's like a lamb to the slaughter. So what role is Gaara going to play in all this?!!

As far as Kakashi's hair... it could be silver, if he has it bleached and then colored. Not not old lady white, but actually a metalic type silver... manicpanic.com makes punk colors and they have one called virgin snow that does the white..

ummm... ^^;;... okay.. enough babbling from me!!

Wah! I love this story so far! Awesome, AWESOME job!! It's a great idea and I love how you added all the characters in. The way you made Kisame look is awesome and I so knew it was him!! OMG AUSTRALIAN KISAME!! EEee!!

Update soon and keep it up!

Dude, in the anime, Kakashi's 27 with grey hair... you can just ay he was born that way. There is a kid at my school who has grey hair. (it's not completely grey but almost) And if you don't want that, make it dark blonde or light brown.

you could completely make his hair silver naturally. stress, shock, dye....